What is The Relationship Judge?

Got a Problem with a Relationship?

Let us be the judge.  We are cheaper than therapy and we are here to help.  Write in, tell us your problem, your question, your issue that’s keeping you up at night.  Stacey B, as the main Relationship Judge, will provide an initial response.  Then everybody else can chime in with their own opinions.  And if you don’t have an opinion (who doesn’t have an opinion?), you can always provide your encouragement.   “Relationship” is defined very broadly to include your relationship with the following:

  1. someone you are dating /hooking up with
  2. someone you are commited to romantically (living with, married to, etc.)
  3. family member
  4. friend
  5. work colleague
  6. mentor
  7. neighbor
  8. dry cleaner
  9. your ex lover / partner / spouse, etc.
  10. roommate

Basically, anyone you know and interact with meets the criteria of “relationship” and is ripe for being judged.

Are you having some issues in your relationship?  Marriage?  Is one of your friends driving you insane?  Do you have a colleague that is in a sinking relationship and need advice on how to help him/her?  What’s going on at work that is driving you mad? Do you have a crazy family member who can not be controlled?

Disclosure Statement:

Full disclosure up front: I’m no doctor.  I didn’t major in psychology or get a degree in couples counseling or family relationships.  The judgments provided here by me (Stacey B) and anyone who chimes in should be taken at your own risk.  I advise based on what I know and I’ve had enough ups and downs in my own life and witnessed plenty of dysfunctional relationships / friendships to have some advice to dole out.  Take it or leave it.

Mind you, since this is a blog, this is meant to be a forum for others to be able to seek honest feedback in a supportive, but honest environment.   The more you disclose, the more we’ll be able to chime in.  Yes, we will be judging you and you may ask – who the hell are we to judge?  You’re right.  We have no right to judge.  Unless you ask us.  In which case we will be polite and as positive as possible, but we will give it to you straight.  At least I will.

The Rules

For those writing in:

(1) Send an email to StaceyB@OfficeStace.com with the subject line “The Relationship Judge.”   Tell us your story.  What kind of a relationship are we judging?  Romantic? Friendship? Marriage? Dating? Family member?  Tell us the basics about yourself and the person you are writing about:  Your age and the age of person you are writing in about, length of relationship, basically anything pertinent to the problem. You can remain anonymous if you’d like.  The more you tell us, the better.

(2) What is the issue you want us to judge on (e.g., Your boyfriend is spending multiple nights away claiming to be “hanging out with his friends” or you’ve seen some strange text messages coming in from unidentified people to your significant other’s cell phone or you’ve seen some odd credit card charges on a credit card statement, etc. and you want to know whether you’re being paranoid or should say something)?  It’s a good idea to end your email with a couple of  specific questions you want opinions on.

(3) Give us a couple of days.  The Relationship Judge (Stacey B), will provide her opinion and everybody else is free to chime in as well.  Stacey B reserves the right to summarize your issue.

(4) Please promise to check back in with us and let us know how you are doing.

For those chiming in on people’s relationship issues:

(1) Be kind.  This person is having a problem and probably feels awful.  This is an encouraging, positive space.  Let’s be nice.  The golden rule applies here: Advise unto others as you’d have advice given to your grandmother (or something like that).

(2) Be honest.

(3) Be reasonable.  Advice given should be idealistic, but achievable.