Enraged to Be Trumped! Bachelor in Paradise Recap Delay…

So there I was. All carb and sugar free for 24 hours. Angry. Tired. Way too many vegetables in my stomach to feel sane. My 3 year old was FINALLY asleep and The Husband and I had just finished another protein heavy meal.

Then it happened…

The Husband read to me from his computer that between a football game and a Trump speech, that Bachelor in Paradise would NOT be airing in New York. WHAT??? I thought he was joking. This was not funny. I’m CARB and SUGAR free.

But there it was – this awful truth. WHAT THE HECK, PEOPLE?? Did this come as a surprise? Did the schedulers at ABC just suddenly decide to make a conflict between football and BIP? Or Trump and BIP? And then they offer as an alternative for us to be able to watch it at 1 AM? Like I’m staying up until 1 AM to watch this nonsense?  Couldn’t they have given us a LITTLE more notice than like 30 seconds? BEYOND angry…

So please don’t tell me anything until I’ve gotten through my DVR and tonight’s episode. This means, of course, that I’ll have 4 hours of BIP to get through tonight? Will The Husband leave me? I can probably get this down to 45 minutes with some strategic fast forwarding, but this is a lot of pressure. And if I make it until tonight carbless and sugarless, I’ll be that much angrier and hungrier.

Wish me luck. Apologies for the delay. Blame Trump and football and ABC.

Til later,

Stacey B

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Corinne & DeMario Scandal Done, Bachelor in Paradise Moves On!

Ok, I admit to have become a little bit weepy in watching the Carly & Evan wedding. It wasn’t even them, per se, more the celebration of Bachelor love around them and all the other happy couples (Sean and Catherine, Jade and Tanner in particular). Did I mention that I saw Catherine and their baby in person a few weeks ago while coming out of my office and completely froze?? I did manage to blurt out something ridiculous, but she was sweet and just smiled. Carly looked so happy and carefree – the complete opposite of her time on any season of Bachelor or Paradise before. I still can’t believe her and Evan are actually married. I mean, she was so grossed out by him (as was everyone else), I’m still not sure how it got turned around. I love Jade – she’s in her last trimester with their baby girl, so that’s exciting! The flower crowns were completely over the top and I have no idea what sort of botox, eye treatments that the sweet Juelia bridesmaid has undergone since we last saw her on Paradise, but that along with the overstated flower crowns gave her a sort of scary Disney evil princess vibe.

In more recent news, Carly and Evan announced that they are expecting a baby! This comes two months since their wedding and was a “surprise” that they found out about in Mexico following their wedding (side note: why are two consenting adults who have sex ever surprised when they become pregnant??).

Too bad Chris Harrison didn’t interview the couples at the wedding who are still dating but not yet married (i.e., I’d like an update on Nick and Vanessa who are rumored to have had some rocky times). I love that they focused in on Ashley I’s tears during the wedding. Ok, but let’s move forward because all we want to know about is if Dean and Kristina are still together…

So fast forward to Chris Harrison’s School of Morality where he basically holds court and becomes a Professor of Etiquette while his “students” answer questions like, “Who wants to move forward with Paradise?” Duh, dumbest question ever asked – of course these people want to continue their 15 minutes of fame. Plus they flew all the way back to Mexico – you’d think he could have called them on the phone and asked this question before they flew for hours to get there. So before they all commit to make out with each other (with full consent of course), we get a little insight into the Corinne / DeMario drama. It seems pretty evident that DeMario got the short end of the stick in this situation, that Corinne lawyered up and that absolutely nobody believed that she is a “victim” as she claims. I’m glad that Chris could educate them on what it means to give consent. Also, Raven has taken on Bach spokesperson as an additional profession.

FINALLY, it’s game on and the make outs / break ups begin. Taylor and Derek are just hard to watch. I can’t stand what comes out of Taylor’s mouth. I don’t know if it’s the fact that she’s 23 but thinks she has the intelligence, wisdom and maturity of a 73 year old, but she just needs to stop talking. Derek, for some reason, does not let her personality or her kinky hair rain on his hormone parade. They can’t keep their hands off each other or stop smiling. Good for them.

It was quite comical to watch the Alex / Amanda struggle. Clearly, she’s not interested and I love how Raven told him that flat out – he should pursue other women. This still doesn’t stop him from going back for one last chat with Amanda, but not before she physically groans in annoyance when he asks to speak to her. Dude, move on. He’s like an octopus that latches on to your arm and that you can’t get rid of.

I feel sorry for Jasmine. The choking references, the total insecurity in herself – it’s hard to watch. Her dude does not seem interested (who goes to sleep in Paradise when you’re interested in someone and want their rose?)

Dean does seem very closed off – I agree with Kristina on this one. I was glad to see they had pursued their relationship outside of Paradise during the break, but he does not seem to have the maturity or ability to openly communicate. The fact that he told Kristina to go out with other guys if the opportunity arises speaks volumes. Either he’s just not that into her or he’s not capable of opening up and having an adult relationship at this point in his life. Too bad as I think Kristina is awesome. She’s smart, gorgeous and a great catch.

I can’t get a good read on Raven. I thought she might be cute with Dean, but I guess her friendship with Kristina would prevent that from ever happening.

It looks like we’re getting a lot more prospects coming up – the twins, Danielle and Canadian Daniel (just in time for Lacey!). I’m finally excited for a Bach episode and even more pumped that it’s Monday AND Tuesday of next week. Sorry, Husband.

What did you guys think??

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Bachelor in Paradise’s 48 Hour Debut

Just in time to distract us from the extremely confusing, still unresolved Peter and Rachel emotional breakup 24 hours before she got engaged to Bryan, it’s BACHELOR IN PARADISE!! I had no idea it was a 2 day event, but I’m not complaining (sorry, Husband). Of course it starts out with a pep talk from Chris Harrison. We already know it gets interrupted by a DeMario / Corinne scandal. Now we get to see what the heck happened.

From what I can tell, Corinne happened. Well Corinne was “doing her” as she puts it and then De Mario came along and got in on the action. Neither of them looked remotely distraught by anything that went down between them. You even here Corinne say to De Mario, “We’re homies” just a little bit before they’re taken away by producers. Plus a full 24 hours went by and both started speaking to other people there. I think they were mutually having a good time. Corinne says up front she’s not looking for anything serious. She’s there to party and further her Corinne brand of “Corn” or whatever the heck she’s got around her neck. Does she think Corn sounds like Corinne? Is that her nickname? Make America Corinne again – is that her version of charming? Ugh, Corinne.

She’s usually good for a few good laughs but I don’t like all the negative press and circus surrounding whatever went on between her and DeMario, particularly because whatever he was accused of (which she says she doesn’t remember) had such a negative effect on his life and she seems just as happy as can be before, during and after her time with DeMario. The cameras purposely don’t even show them being intimate (just jumping into the pool together), so from the viewers’ perspective, they were just drunk and playing around in the pool with their clothes on.  I’m sure there was more to it, but I’m glad that they were able to resolve the incident. And that’s all I have to say about Corinne and DeMario.

Raven is like the sweet, soft spoken slayer of this season. Everyone thinks she’s so innocent but she seems to be the real influencer on this season, not Robby. I did laugh when she was describing her view of Robby versus how Robby thought the date went. As soon as he showed up, I said to The Husband that Robby needs a true, very well groomed Cali girl. Someone very into her looks and fashion and makeup and self-grooming. Raven is way too down to earth for all that nonsense. As soon as he smiled, his teeth were so white and veneered, I couldn’t take him seriously. The teeth with the planted hair swoop is so over the top and I agree with Raven that you don’t want to date someone with abs that have abs – it just would make way too self conscious to have to look that pretty all the time. Plus his bathing suit collection is out of control. The Husband cracked up when Raven kissed Ben Z (way too into his dog, and I was disappointed as I had high hopes for Ben Z), and announced that the kiss was better than her kiss with Robby. Poor Robby.

Regarding the emotional intelligence girl (forgetting her name at the moment) her hair was getting to be like Monica from Friends’ trip to Mexico. It just kept growing kinkier and more kinkier by the minute. I kind of her like brewing romance with Jim from the Office (Derek?). I’m glad she found someone so that everyone could forget about her ridiculous Corn (Corinne?) fight. I don’t think we actually saw either of them acknowledge the other. Very mature.

When I saw Amanda, I just feel sad. This is her third attempt at coming back on a season of Bachelor and now it’s after a broken engagement with Josh. With 2 daughters that are absolutely adorable and got left at home, I hope she finds love and it’s all worth it. I was able to see a little past her hair extensions (though difficult) and laughed at her story about how a dating app didn’t accept her as a celebrity, so she’s thrown back in to the commoners pool. Too funny.

Shark Girl just seems in a permanent happy fog, but definitely like someone you’d want to bring to a party.

Watching Iggy be intimate with anyone is kind of fascinating and revolting at the same time (is that mean?) but I was sad that his time with Lacey was cut short. I’m hopeful that since the show got cut off early, she’ll be able to make it back and give her relationship with him (or anyone else) a real try.

I still think Diggy is gay.

So happy that Vinny is getting another chance since he got burned on Paradise last season.

I love that Dean is the most wanted guy in paradise. I was sure that Raven and him would hit it off but Christina has stepped in for the win. They are very cute together and seemed to have connected. Each have an adorable crush on the other. But from the previews it seems that all falls apart soon enough. Maybe the break killed it for him while he went home and hung out with Ashley I. Who knows…

I can’t stand the little marine guy – Alex, right? Forgetting his name, but he’s just the narrator and nothing more. He annoyed me on JoJo’s season and now he’s back.

And then there’s Jasmine who is being pursued by St. Nick and the darker haired gentleman. Darker haired gentleman is quite a sport for allowing himself to get dressed up as a drag queen. Jasmine has already made two references to choking him. I’m scared.

Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings on this crazy island. Favorite surprise is Wells being there as a bartender. He’s one of the best candidates out there – why can’t he date??

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Aftermath of Rachel the Bachelorette’s Choice

So I normally would not feel the need to chime in after the Bachelorette has made her pick, but I’ve learned a few interesting things since Monday’s finale that I felt were worth sharing.

First off – do you guys listen to Ashley I and Ben Higgins’ podcast, Almost Famous? I put it off because although I love Ben, Ashley has the tendency to drive me crazy, but the podcast they did on Tuesday of this week was quite insightful. Also, Ashley was asking questions that I really wanted to know the answers too. Their latest episode can be found here. Yes, I think it should be me and Ben having a podcast together, but until they figure that out, I’ll just share what I learned:

So first, Eric (second runner-up) was on the podcast and Ashley kept referring to him as the potential next Bachelor. Eric was so positive, taking the high road from his experience and repeating over and over how the whole experience of being on the show was a miracle because he fell in love for the first time. Eric was asked about Rachel’s choice and how she was now saying via her Hollywood Access on the show that she knew in Geneva that Bryan was her ONE. And that she never was in love with anyone else even though she told a total of 4 guys that she loved them. Eric did say that he felt Rachel was in love with Peter too. That what he saw during that finale was kind of what all of Bachelor Nation saw – she was incredibly emotional and in love with Peter and then got engaged the next day to someone else.

Rachel was also saying that Peter had agreed to propose, but we all know that this was kind of a “ok, I’ll do it to make you happy” rather than a sincere proposal. And Ben, Ashley I and all their guests agreed that Rachel just seemed really angry and hostile at the After the Final Rose with Peter. They also agreed that Rachel was trying to make Bryan feel ok after it was so clear that she had mixed feelings the night before she got engaged. The general feedback from Bachelor Nation has been that Rachel went for the ring over the love.

Ben also talked about how when JoJo was announced as the next Bachelorette, he was genuinely happy for her. He was rooting for her and thought she’d be great. The podcast discussed what a contrast this was to Rachel telling the world that this process was not for Peter. She may be mad at him but did she have a right to try and sabotage his chances of being Bachelor? Shouldn’t the producers make that decision as besides Dean and Eric, he was probably right up there for options. Sounds a lot like sour grapes. In fact, Rachel was throwing out that Alex the Russian would make a great Bachelor and Ben and Ashley agreed that she was probably saying this because she didn’t want to watch any of her final 4 competing out of jealousy – another sign that she is a bit less into Bryan than she should be.

Alex the Russian was also on the podcast and he said he did NOT want to be Bachelor. Side note: Ashley asked Ben if he’d consider being Bachelor again and he said definitely not for the next season but didn’t cut off a possibility down the road. He said it’s too soon after his break up and he’s got so many other things going on.

I’ve also learned from this podcast that Dean doesn’t use soap (ICK) and that he’s been spending a lot of time with Ashley (as friends) but she certainly has a huge crush on him. Jared is thanking his lucky stars.

So that’s the scoop. I’m not quite sure where this leaves us except that Jimmy Kimmel said it best after the finale – he thought Peter was the wisest and only sane contestant to ever make it this far on the show. After only 3 dates and 9 weeks of dating, he wasn’t able to propose and instead of being celebrated, he’s being tagged as “confusing” and “frustrating” and Rachel is trying to nab his chance at being next Bachelor.

Happy weekend, Bach Friends and see you back here Monday for PARADISE!!!

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No Cryin’ for Bryan: The Bachelorette Gets Her Happy Ending

Well, it finally got interesting. And here we are at the bitter, awkward end and I’m more confused than ever. Our sweet, smart, sassy Bachelorette Rachel turned into a seemingly angry, smug, know-it-all during her Peter reunion. I felt more attacked and confused than Peter did. Instead of accepting that Peter may have just been moving at a different time scale than her, she saw this as a character flaw and flat out ruined his chances of ever being the next Bachelor by declaring that his being on a TV show in this process did NOT work for him. Ouch. Way to break his heart AND his future professional bachelor career.

But let’s rewind. I mean, I never thought Eric actually stood a chance. He seems like a nice enough guy and I’m sure his time on the show opens up a ton of opportunities for him, but his departure was not unexpected. I don’t even remember his fantasy suite time with Rachel – do you? In fact, once Rachel finished her fantasy suite dates with Peter and Bryan, I was waiting for Eric to appear, but then realized this must have happened already. The fact that I couldn’t remember it – it was a definite sign that he was OUT.

So that brings us the Rachel vs. Peter show down. Rachel wants a proposal, but more than that – she wants someone who is on the same page as her and wants what she wants. Peter can’t quite get there. They then argue this point from every angle. She’s pissed that he’s talking about their imaginary future together when he’s not willing to propose. He has actually gotten to the point where he can say he’s in love with her – but that’s still not good enough for her. Rachel has been there, done that. She’s dated the eternal boyfriend. She wants more. I feel for both of them. But what I don’t understand is why Rachel is making Peter pay for her previous relationship experiences. Clearly she loves him. Clearly she can see a life with him – it’s almost like she was deciding between being engaged or having a boyfriend instead of the actual person that she would end up with. This frustrates me beyond belief because Rachel IS a smart woman and she’s been incredibly wise and savvy with her choices throughout – to the point of boredom. I mean – when she’s always making the right choices for the right reasons, who cares?

You can so clearly see it in her eyes and in Peter eyes – they do love each other, they could be right for each other. So why is she so insistent on an engagement? They’ve known each other for 9 weeks. He’s literally fallen in love with her in the last 24-48 hours – but now she wants to take that newly declared and felt love and accelerate it to a proposal before he’s ready. I’m disappointed in Rachel. I mean – it’s one thing if this clearly made her realize that she loved Bryan. Or that Bryan was the reason she walked away from Peter. But it was Peter’s decision not to propose that made Rachel walk away. Not her pull or love for Bryan. That makes me question the whole thing.

Now Bryan has very clearly known the whole time what he wanted – It was Rachel at 100 mph the whole season. No slowing down. No wavering. The only time he got nervous was when he so clearly picked up on the fact that Rachel’s mind was elsewhere (because she’s in love with Peter and he won’t propose). I give him lots of credit for being astute and he seems like a very affectionate, passionate guy – but how will Rachel ever stop wondering what she could have had with Peter? And she refused to take his phone call?

I have nothing really strong against Bryan (except his terrifying mother, perhaps). But I do find his words and actions showy. Like his big over-the-top re-proposal when he was reunited with Rachel tonight. His constant swallowing of Rachel’s face and declarations of love. He always says the right thing. He’s smooth. I can understand Rachel’s family’s skepticism on whether he’s the real deal. I’m facing the same issue with Bryan. I want to like him, but he’s just a bit much sometimes. Peter is much more understated – which may have been confused for disinterested. I think that’s what attracted Rachel to him, but I feel he’s grown the most since the beginning of the show – his love for Rachel has been consistently getting stronger. He’s fallen in love with her throughout the process of the show, not in a single night like Bryan.

I almost had the feeling that Rachel was giving a little of a “revenge engagement happiness” in Peter’s face tonight. I don’t know – it’s hard to have any room for her to fawn over Bryan with the amount of affection he gives her. Does she like that? Can she really feel that much connection with him when she’s still so clearly affected by Peter moments earlier?

I’m confused.

Is anyone else confused?

And that break up with Peter. That’s another point of contention – they just kind of cut from that to Bryan going to get that Neil Lane ring and then proposing. What about Rachel’s post-Peter thoughts? Where did she go to after she left his hotel room in tears? What did Peter do? Did he have any thoughts of going after her? Where was Rachel’s epiphany that Bryan was her guy? Because hours earlier, he might not have been. UGH, this outcome just doesn’t sit right with me. I kept thinking, hoping, expecting that ABC had played a trick on us and Peter was the guy after all and when they showed just Bryan’s legs coming out of the limo, I was kind of hoping they’d pan up and it would be Peter. But no, it was Bryan. Then even when Peter came out before they showed the proposal and had to sit through the MOST AWKWARD reunion in Bachelorette history, I was hoping that maybe they were acting and making the audience think it hadn’t worked out when really it had. Because there seemed to be so much left unsaid between them.

And I too feel like Rachel did attack Peter – like she’s diminishing what they had together by pointing out that she noticed things about him earlier in the season that convinced her overall he was not the guy for her. I think Peter was really hurt by that as I would have been. It was almost like Rachel was trying to tell herself she made the right decision and then talk herself into believing it. Not nice. Peter probably thought he’d come to the show and have a nice, pleasant but awkward reunion with Rachel, be told that she loved Peter, but Bryan had been her guy all along. That was NOT at all what we heard tonight. I heard anger in Rachel’s voice, she was still hurt – not a happily, engaged fiance. Bryan won by default. If Peter had said he was ready to get engaged, he would have been the ONE.

So what have we learned from this? Rachel wants what she wants, but it might not ultimately make her happy long term. Only time will tell. I wish her the best, but I think she may have made her first Big mistake of the season. I was discussing with The Husband when he first told me he loved me. It was pretty early on in our relationship and I can’t imagine demanding a proposal from him at that time. You need time for the relationship to grow organically. To experience things about each other that let you know whether you’re a good fit for life. Rachel needs to spend a solid year being in Bryan’s life, doing family stuff with his mom before she can realistically say this is something she wants to commit to forever. Peter isn’t crazy. Peter is smart. It’s just too bad that Rachel couldn’t see past the Neil Lane bling.

I hope for the best for Peter – he’s definitely someone that won’t be single for long and hopefully outside of Bach world, he’ll be able to take that relationship far. Maybe for the right girl, it could happen quicker.

I also hope for the best for Rachel and Bryan – I’m not sure that this one is going to last and I hope Rachel doesn’t get married just to prove a point. Sounds like Peter and Eric may be waiting in the wings should she change her mind.

What did everyone else thing of tonight’s finale? Are you happy with the Bryan outcome? Confused as I am about Peter? EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY: WHO’S EXCITED FOR BACHELOR IN PARADISE????

See you all back here next week.

Thanks for a great season, Bach Friends, even if a bit dull until tonight.

xoxo,

Stacey B (@OfficeStace)

 

 

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The Bachelorette’s Men Tell All, Give Heat to Lee’s Racist Remarks

If you skipped tonight’s episode, I can sum it up like this:

  • WhaaaBoom vs. the guy who couldn’t stand WhaaaBoom whining that each was “the joke” of the season
  • DeMario revealing with absolutely no shame that the girl who showed up to confront him on the show was like a side booty call who he had no real relationship with.
  • Kenny (and everyone else besides DeMario, but then DeMario ended up chiming in anyway) going off on Lee, who tweeted some pretty ignorant, racist remarks while the season was airing. Then each of the anti-Lee club (the opposite of a Glee Club, I’d say) trying to articulate why Lee’s behavior was so bad and attempting to get Lee to take responsibility for his actions.
  • Lee eventually being verbally beaten to death that his only move is to apologize and admit to being racist (though he doesn’t use these exact words) and then the guys all accept him back in to their circle and agree to give him history lessons. Lee was visibly shaking as he knows the entire world will be sending him hate mail, but this never stopped him from having a perfect hair part at all times.
  • Only other memorable part of the show besides Rachel also going off on Lee was Dean’s ridiculous hair and his “why did you say you were falling in love with me” if you ditched me 4 days later speech to Rachel. Her response was basically non-sensical. She truly did mean what she said. Yeah, that really clears it up.
  • We get absolutely 0 explanation for why Rachel sent Will just because he didn’t throw on the affection nor any sign that the producers are grooming him for next Bachelor. Sad. Actually, I really didn’t get that feeling about any of the remaining guys. I sure don’t think it would be Kenny and that is certainly (along with Dean) who they focused on.
  • No funny Alex the Russian lines tonight either. I really hope Alex goes to Bachelor in Paradise and hooks up with Kristina (life in color) the Russian from Nick’s season. I just want to hear them speak to each other in thick Russian accents, really.

So that’s all I got from tonight. There were a couple of memorable events:

  • Mackenzie, Kenny’s daughter. She’s the most poised, genuine, smart and beautiful little girl. I wonder how they pulled off getting her to LA without her daddy knowing. Was this an act? Very nice that the show is sending them to Disneyland for Kenny’s birthday. When all the Lee forgiveness bullcrap was going on, I thought Kenny was going to invite Lee with them for the day. I can just see them riding the “It’s a Small World” ride together for world peace relations.
  • Dean’s “blooper” of hiding gum behind his ear during an interview. Then taking it back and chewing it. Then swallowing it. I don’t know why, but that completely grosses me out and makes me think less of Dean. YUCK. I’m glad he viewed his very awkward hometown date as a cathartic experience that he hopes to one day turn into a reconciliation with his family. Yeah, I don’t see that happening any time soon.
  •  Rachel’s camper’s declaration of hurt. I admire Fred for voicing his frustration regarding how Rachel treated him during their time together. She could never see him as anything but the bad camper she knew in his childhood. He was accurate to say that she never gave him a chance. And when he started his speech, I thought he was going down a road of trash talking Rachel. But instead, he just wished her the best of luck. You can tell when he finished that it really took the life out of him to say those words. It had definitely been on his mind. I mean how frustrating to go on a show and try to win the heart of the girl you’ve always had a crush on. But instead of having a shot, you’re pegged as the “bad boy” and never even thought of as a real contender. Good for him.
  • Josiah was still performing even down to his need to sit with Lee on the couch and cross-examine him. I don’t feel like talking about him anymore.

So that’s about it. I’m bummed that they’ve pushed back Bachelor in Paradise for one more week to August 14th, but what can you do? Blame it on Corinne and DeMario.

Also, I’d be absolutely shocked if Rachel picks anyone other than Bryan the Chiropractor Physician who is not an actual MD Physician. I think she’d be happier with Peter, but Peter doesn’t seem to be ready for a fiance after 9 weeks. You know, he might actually be normal.

Did you watch the #MenTellAll? Any highlights for you? Does Rachel choose anyone but Bryan?

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