The Battle of the Wits Takes Over New Orleans on The Bachelor

Colorful Corinne

Colorful Corinne

Guys, it’s been one of those days. I have a headache. Work is stressing me out in all directions. It’s long days and short sleeps. I need a vacation. Or maybe I need to slip into the Bachelor world and lose myself for a few weeks. I mean, what does Nick Viall do for a living that he can just disappear for 4 separate Bachelor productions? Does he have someone else paying his bills? I’m sure he got paid to be Bachelor, but how much did he get paid to be on all his previous seasons? I’m actually jealous of Nick. He’s figured out how to make it work and he doesn’t seem stressed at all. I’m stressed. UGH.

Also, the Husband and I managed to accomplish the actual dumbest thing we’ve ever done together as a couple. Ready for it? I only reveal this so you can avoid repeating this in your own lives: Ellie’s school is having an auction this week. We won’t be attending since work is absolutely insane for me these days. Anyhow, you can still participate in the auction online and bid on items. Yesterday, the bidding began. As I mentioned in my previous blog post, I was in an all day meeting yesterday and received an email that the auction was open for bidding. I immediately went into the website for the auction and put bids on a Disney on Ice show and Bruno Mars concert tickets. Then I sent a quick text to the Husband saying, “Bid on Disney on Ice and Bruno Mars.” A few minutes later, I get emailed that I was outbid for both events. Well then, I went back in and bid higher. But then I got outbid again.

An hour later, my husband sends me a text that I should “stop bidding!” because the head of Ellie’s school called to say that The Husband and me are actually bidding against each other online. Like full on driving up the cost of the events we want because we’re the two biggest morons who ever participated in an online auction.

Don’t be like us.

So I’ve had 24 hours to understand what the F Taylor was talking about with “emotional intelligence.” I think Nick summarized it best in his People.com blog today:

“When you strip it down, it became clear that Taylor believed Corinne lacked the emotional maturity to get married or really to be dating me at all.”

But then Nick goes on to say something very telling about his opinion of Taylor and why he ultimately chose Corinne:

“From my point of view, Taylor either wasn’t self-aware enough to understand how she was coming across or she thought that I wouldn’t notice. Either way, it just felt like at this point that Taylor was too fixated on proving to me that Corinne wasn’t right for me rather than focusing on our relationship. Giving Corinne the rose had just as much to do with saying goodbye to Taylor as it was to validate my relationship with Corinne. After a pretty intense day, I was looking forward to some one-on-one time with Corinne.”

Pretty strong words from an otherwise neutral Nick, right? Basically, Taylor was seen to be a young, immature, know-it-all. And Nick liked Corinne’s boobs better.

So what else did we miss from last night? Other than Taylor and Corinne, it was pretty blah. New Orleans is great, but it’s a city that’s been visited multiple times before on previous seasons. Other than Astrid getting rejected to start the episode off and nobody (not even Nick) caring remotely, the only other event of significant event was Rachel and Nick’s date. I loved their second line dancing, how easy their chemistry was and also seeing Nick’s moves. Rachel is clearly extremely smart and I loved how she scared Nick by telling him straight out that her father is intimidating. Can’t wait to see that hometown. Can you imagine getting grilled by a federal judge?? I’d insert a political statement here, but I’m so sick of politics right now and it stresses me out even more to watch the news so let this blog and show be our safe escape for a tiny fraction of the day before we go back to fighting battles.

The group date was a bit ridic. I mean, that haunted house was a set, right? With things moving all around and the lights flickering and a timer ready to go that drops a chandelier when you pick up one of the items the caretaker tells you not to touch. Right? I was feeling bad for Raven who dropped the “L” bomb on Nick by accident. She was cute about it, but then Nick didn’t reassure her by giving the group rose date to blonde Danielle. I still don’t see the sparks between tall Danielle and Nick.

I’m still loving Alexis and her insane fear of Nicholas Cage. She cracks me up. Nick said he ordered that Nicholas Cage mask on Amazon as soon as he found out Alexis is scared of him. Funny.

The other Danielle (brunette) seems very sweet, but not sure Nick is as into her as some of the other girls. He was making out with all of them last night. It’s actually impossible to tell who he likes most when he’s got his tongue down everyone’s throat. I don’t know – I’m actually at the point of being grateful for Corinne because she keeps things interesting. Yes, it’s like watching 8 year olds fight, but at least it’s drama and Corinne’s always good for a laugh.

That’s about all I got tonight. At this point, I think Rachel’s got the lead, with Raven and Vanessa trailing behind. We haven’t heard a thing about Whitney, who is beautiful even if she says nothing. The Danielles are sweet but I don’t feel the passion with them. Alexis is Friend Zone. Russian girl is cute and spunky but could be a spy or might just be trying to hang around to become next Bachelorette. No idea what Josephine or Jaimi (nose ring) are still doing there.

What did you guys think? Anyone have their own take on what the hell Taylor was talking about? Did she really expect Corinne to just agree with her or was she just trying to be cruel or was this a poorly executed counseling session? I have no idea what the purpose of that conversation was. It’s still troubling me. But not as much as bidding against my husband on the same items in a school charity auction.

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The Bachelor Hits New Orleans, I Hit the Sheets

Is Nick kind of hoping one of these ladies will get attacked by an alligator so the tension is gone?

Is Nick kind of hoping one of these ladies will get attacked by an alligator so the tension is gone?

Bachelor Fans, Forgive me. I left my apartment this morning at 7:15 AM, got home at 9:40 PM after being at an all day work event and have literally just now finished Bachelor. My eyes aren’t functioning properly to even see this screen.

There were so many amazing things that deserve proper attention – like Rachel & Nick’s off the charts chemistry (and you know if Rachel isn’t the ONE, she may be our first African American Bachelorette!!), Corinne’s master manipulation and me wondering the whole show whether my emotional intelligence has declined significantly since watching Taylor and Corinne fight about emotional intelligence.

To be continued tomorrow…

Xoxo,

Stacey B

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Whisked to Wisconsin: The Bachelor Takes His Ladies Home

Corinne Lecture in Progress

Corinne Lecture in Progress

New York City is having a Nor’easter this evening, and Nick Viall’s ladies don’t seem to be faring much better. Talk about dramatic, I got trapped in my apartment building’s elevator on Saturday morning at 7 AM braless, in my pajamas and had to call 911. I was eventually able to get out, but had to walk 22 stories down holding my dog. Thank goodness Ellie wasn’t with me. I was in pure panic mode for about 7 minutes and I don’t want to ever go back there.

Speaking of panic mode – I am still shuttering thinking about Taylor explaining to Corinne what “emotional intelligence” is. Did that conversation really happen?

But let’s rewind.

We start off in the heat of Awesome Vanessa’s calling out of Nick’s shenanigans in Corinne’s bouncy tent of lust. Vanessa isn’t scared of anything. She may have thrown out her boldest move yet by threatening to give the rose back if Nick isn’t serious about this process. She asks him point blank – is he looking for a wife or someone to f-k around with? GREAT QUESTION, Vanessa! We’re all wondering the same thing too. Sure looks like he’s having fun. Doesn’t Nick know he can’t have his bouncy house, a topless Corinne and private whipped cream moments if he’s looking for a wife? Vanessa has gone where no Bachelor lady has gone before – she’s announcing her self-worth by indicating that she actually has a choice in this process. She can choose to leave! But she doesn’t…

And of course we already know that Nick is going to keep Corinne because the previews have promised her seduction of Nick to “explore each other sexually” and a fight with Taylor. So nobody is surprised at all when she gets the rose, even if it was last to be more dramatic. It seems that Nick has been sending home the “nice” “cute” girls like Christen, who Liz confided in about her prior relations with Nick.

When Brittany started speaking after she got cut, The Husband was like, “Wow, that’s too bad. She seems really cool and normal.” Of course the longer she started speaking, the more upset she got and she eventually burst into tears. Then The Husband said, “Yeah, ok, I get it.”

Meanwhile, is there any girl who didn’t want to slap Corinne across the face for making a speech after the rose ceremony about how this was all about finding love and how you had to go after it and be yourself? She is so feeding these girls’ flames. I think Corinne is a lot smarter than she lets on. She’s pushing all the right buttons on them.

So the girls are all excited to go to Wisconsin – you can just see the glow in their false eyelashes and foundation when Chris Harrison announces their first destination (not really). BTW, the fresh-faced version of some of these girls makes them unrecognizable! So my thoughts on Danielle L – she is a very sweet, easy to talk to kind of girl – easy going, upbeat, beautiful. But I got the sense that Nick was trying to dig deep with her and came up short. If you remember from Andi Dorfman’s season with Nick, she said that her conversations with Nick were some of the deepest, most intellectual she’s ever had with anyone. I just don’t see that happening with Danielle. L This doesn’t make her a bad person – I think he’s just interested in connecting on a level that she may not possess. (This is why I think he clicked with Vanessa so well). The Husband thinks that Nick was very interested in her dress on the evening portion of their date. I mean, why doesn’t she just serve up her two friends on a platter? That’s what the dress said to me, but good for her. She’s pulling out all sorts of tactics. I support her being supported.

What did you make of Nick and Danielle L running into his ex girlfriend? Is there any way that wasn’t planned? I feel like there is this show going on called The Bachelor which is about finding an appropriate wife for Nick. Then there’s also this sort of side show going on which is intended to make us like Nick. Am I crazy? Or are we being given a little bit of propaganda by watching touch moments with Nick’s parents and them cheering Nick on with him having tears in his eyes? Or what about Nick’s support of his adorable little sister Bella during soccer? Perhaps ABC is betting that if the grander audience grows to love Nick, their ratings will go up too. Makes sense. And I’ll drink the Kool-Aid a bit – I admit his pow-wow with his parents was rather touching.

The farming group date was definitely amusing. Jaimi the nose ring girl now has straight hair and proved that she knows how to work a nipple. Maybe she dated a new mom at some point or maybe she’s used to milking things. Who knows? Corinne’s whole song and dance about how she had to sit out because of bad circulation to her hands (she almost ended up in the hospital, Guys!) reminded me of when Ellie gets bored at ballet class and simply lays on the floor (cheek to hardwood) refusing to get up. They never did show us any sort of engagement by Nick to get to the bottom of Corinne’s walking away from the shit. Perhaps she was being symbolic (She won’t deal with the shit happening around her? There’s a shitstorm in town and she won’t participate?). You know Nick had to go see if she was ok and I’m sure she explained herself in her cutest Corinne baby voice.

So now we are on to the mysterious, dark haired Raven. She may be our dark horse. And I’m not just saying that because she has dark hair. Nick’s dad seemed into her saying that the name “Raven” suits her. I think Nick was very intrigued by Raven to have her on this special date. She is the first to meet his family and little sister (note: Juan Pablo took now ex-fiance Nikki Ferrell to meet his parents on their first one on one date). They looked like they had an absolute blast at the roller skating rink and who knew that Nick was an amazing skater? They looked like they were having the equivalent of a Dirty Dancing moment together. I feel like Raven wasn’t really on the radar before tonight but she is very much in the game. She’s different from the rest of the girls, but she’s smart and Nick knows it. I liked her chat with Bella, who was fully vetting her for Nick.

My eyelids are getting heavy, but I feel it only right to devote a little time on this blog to the infamous Corinne. Last week I found her to be very sad. This episode, it was a mixed bag. Yes, she’s absolutely over the top talking about her nanny, complaining about being on the farm and shoveling “poopy.” Yes, she’s immature and completely overdramatic in almost every opinion that she addressed. That said, shouldn’t these girls just focus on their relationships with Nick? They are all clearly threatened by Corinne. The only ones who have managed to ignore it completely are Vanessa (who rightfully told Nick that she holds HIM accountable, not Corinne), Rachel (who doesn’t even think twice about Corinne) and Raven (who gleefully celebrates that not only did she get a one on one this week, but that Corinne DIDN’T get it).

A number of girls confronted Corinne this week. First it was a joint endeavor by Sarah and Taylor. It failed. Next came the Russian Kristina who set Corinne off. Then there was the group discussion led by Corinne where she called everyone out for talking about her behind her back. An admirable attempt to clear the air, but it also failed as everyone Sarah questioned her maturity and readiness to be married. The finale was the conversation with Taylor. Now Corinne has been completely ridiculous but Taylor came off as mean, condescending and immature herself. Not her best look as a new mental health counselor. Clearing Taylor is threatened by Corinne or nobody would pay her any attention. This is a 23 and a 24 year old having it out and Taylor’s defining for her emotional intelligence. I actually was on Corinne’s side for this showdown. Call her crazy and childish, but Corinne has something that Nick is interested in (or two things). She definitely brings an element of sass and the unknown.

We’ll have to wait until next time to see how this blow out fight turns out. What do you think? Who’s on the list and who is off? Nick is certainly into brunettes. The Russian Kristina, Whitney, Astrid, Danielle L, Vanessa, Alexis and Raven are all dark haired beauties. Of everyone else, I think Vanessa, Raven and Rachel are in the top 3 position with Danielle L in a close 4th. The other Danielle (blonde), whom he had his first date with, I believe is being surpassed by his other relationships. Also, did anyone see how TALL she is compared with the other girls? She seems to be taller than Astrid.

Hope to hear from all of you. Please check out what else I did this weekend with Ellie on Instagram: (www.instagram.com/OfficeStace)

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The Bachelor’s Ladies Dance, Fly and Sprint To Win Nick Viall’s Heart

Hopefully a pre-puke photo

Hopefully a pre-puke photo

Happy MLK day, Bachelor fans! I hope you all had a nice, relaxing weekend. There’s nothing like getting 3 days off with the added bonus of a Bachelor night to top it off. Today, we did something even more exciting than wondering if Astrid’s boobs were going to spill out of her bra top during a running race. More thrilling, if possible, than jumping in a pink bouncy castle with a non-snoring Corinne. More monumental than watching Nick’s eyes tear up with the realization that this process is working for him – even if Vanessa currently scolded him in a naughty librarian kind of way by the end of the episode.

image1What did we do? The Husband and I took our 2 year old (almost 3) daughter to see her first movie. She’s obsessed with Disney’s Frozen. Elsa and Anna are her religion with a bit of Tangled and Finding Nemo thrown in. The Husband bought Ellie a Frozen karaoke machine for the holidays and Ellie will sit in her little step stool like a lounge singer belting out, “Let it Go.” Last week, desperate for a change of scenery for our ears, The Husband started showing Ellie some YouTube clips of Moana. She loved it. Today, we finally took the plunge of bringing her to a real live movie theater to see Moana. [Side note: I had no idea that the creator of Broadway’s Hamilton wrote many of the the songs in Moana!] With a 2 year old, you never quite know what reaction you’ll get. Would she be scared of the louder speaker system? Would she scream in middle and demand to leave? But Ellie was an absolute pro – she sat with this giant bucket of popcorn happily, alternating between that and “spicy soda,” which was her Sprite. She did ask me what my favorite color was about an hour into the movie, but quickly got absorbed back into the film. It was fantastic. (So were the Twizzlers and M&Ms). Not to worry, we cut her off at a reasonable point as if you can’t tell, this bucket was practically big enough to give her a bath in.

So back to Nick. It’s getting juicy, right? I think we’ve all recovered from the Liz exit. She didn’t seem to be a thought in anyone’s head 5 minutes after the opening credits.

There were a couple of women that attended the rose ceremony who I had no idea existed. One of them was sent home (a very pretty blonde – think it was Elizabeth from Dallas?). The other was Whitney – very tall, pilates instructor? I’m looking forward to narrowing down the field as I’m finding it hard to get beyond their looks and boobs. I can’t imagine how Nick’s feeling. Have the feeling that the weeping, 23 year old Hailey photographer will be back for Bachelor pad. Some of these girls are just so young for a 36 year old Nick. Corinne is just digging her own grave, slowly but surely. The whipped cream / trench coat mini date was absolutely ridiculous and amazing at the same time. The fact that she just goes straight to bed without attending the rose ceremony – I’m not sure that’s actually ever happened before. You’d think one of the producers would try to get her up. I mean, she didn’t even say goodbye to her bestie blonde friend Lacey who got the boot. And you know Lacey’s got to be thrilled that Nick kept the snoring sleeping whipped cream girl around, but sent her home.

Group Date #1 was clearing the best group date EVER. I loved how the Back Street Boys just showed up in the living room ready to be hugged. Even better was how many true fans they had amongst the contestants. I was also very impressed with how Danielle L (exotic beauty) managed to stay in the zone to defeat an actual professional dancer (Jasmine G) in a dance contest.  How awesome to get selected by the Back Street Boys for not only your dance moves, but your physical chemistry with Nick. When they got that “private?” dance together after, Nick did not hold back  one bit and went in for the kiss. You could practically feel Corinne’s gaze digging into Nick’s tongue during that moment. Is Nick told to just put it all out there to dangle his physical intimacy in front of the other girls? Couldn’t they have told the “losers” to get off the stage at least to give them some privacy in front of the 500 fans? Nick’s chemistry with Danielle L was the strongest we’d seen up until that point. Then when he took her aside at the after party, it was clear he was looking for some more Danielle lip smacking. I don’t think we know much about Danielle except she’s got great hair, a beautiful face and committed grandparents. Nick doesn’t seem to need to know much more than that.

Other amazing things we learned tonight:

  • 24 is never too old to have a nanny. Raquel might be the most sought after caregiver of all time. What nanny gets that kind of free advertising? Corinne has to be drunk to just freely talk about this type of stuff. Right? Or is she just that out of touch with reality to tell these girls that Raquel basically mothers here morning til night. Is she just making this up for the cameras? Being paid to say ridiculous things to make the other girls mad? I need a Raquel to take care of me like that btw. Also, what is the going rate to be a nanny to a 24 year old? Does she get annual raises? And what is she doing while Corinne is filming?
  • If you get in your head enough to feel the Bachelor owes you more time on Week 2 of dates, you’re going to be sent home. Dominique learned this lesson the hard way.
  • Astrid may work for a plastic surgeon, but those boobs were all sorts of flipping and flopping – leaving me to believe they were real. Anyone have a different opinion?
  • Pool parties with 1 dude and lots of good looking ladies are only fun if the solo dude doesn’t go running off to bounce around and get squat on by the house villain.
  • Puking on a date will not discourage Nick in the least. He likes to play the comforter role – we were all desperately hoping that Vanessa had brushed her teeth – but they made it abundantly clear that both were chewing gum before they kissed. Still wish we could have seen a tooth brush scene, but hey – Nick was not going to let a small thing like throwing up in an airplane get between him and his lady. I can’t think of anything worse than feeling nauseous enough to puke on a first date with a guy you’re really into. Major credit to both Nick and Vanessa for not letting a small thing like throw-up ruin their date.

Back to the dates:

Vanessa’s date looked like pure magic. The Husband and I cracked up watching them bounce around the plane like little kids (and in a much more natural / giddy way than the Corinne bouncy castle of lust). I can’t imagine how awkward it must have felt to be nauseous while on a date like that. I hate being nauseous. Vanessa is trying to make a good impression on Nick – and be attractive. Yet Nick couldn’t have been kinder or more nurturing. It was a great side of him that I was happy to see. Vanessa really appreciated it too and I like that she thanked him at dinner. He definitely must have thought a lot of Vanessa to reserve such a special date like that for her. Their conversation at dinner was definitely the start of a love fest. Nick tearing up and Vanessa digging deep to talk about her grandfather’s funeral – we know Vanessa is going far. I thought she was the ONE during this date. Their connection even surpassed the Danielle Lambada dancing. But Vanessa seems to be someone that you don’t mess with and her calling out Nick for “mounting?” Corinne and questioning whether he wants to find love or someone to mess around with certainly put him on the spot. I mean first off, it was Nick who was mounted, but I don’t think Vanessa cares about that detail. How far will Nick be allowed to explore his relationships physically before these women start lecturing him? Is Vanessa too rigid for him? Too mature? Maybe he does need a bit more carefree, lightheartedness and even fun in his romantic prospects? Still, Vanessa has a very valid point. If she wasn’t on a show where his job is to make out with ladies to see who he wants to marry. He just shouldn’t be doing it so publicly.

Before we continue – I just can’t wait to see what Corinne does next. She is like a gift you get to unwrap every Monday. What will Crazy Corinne come up with next week?? Also – thought it was amazing how she disappeared right after her interactions with Nick to just drop into a full blown sleep. Is the first Narcoleptic Contestant? Or is she just absolutely brilliant for keeping her eye on the prize? Why should she stay up to schmooze with the other ladies and drive herself crazy? Maybe going to sleep in between Nick interactions is her way of staying sane.

The track and field group date was amusing just to see the girls scrambling. Dolphin / Shark girl was actually super athletic and I liked seeing more of Rachel’s chemistry with Nick (both on the track and at the after party). Also, was happy they didn’t make all the “losers” leave immediately for the rest of the date. Not sure how Astrid ended up winning, but I think we have yet to hear an actual conversation between her and Nick. She is literally a brunette Barbie doll.

Other people, we don’t know much about: Jaimi (nose ring), Brittany (travel nurse), Sarah (petite, big lips) and Whitney (beautiful pilates instructor).

So it looks like there are some fireworks to come between Corinne and Taylor. That should be interesting – it’ll be like watching a Ellie get into it with one of her toddler friends that dares try to hold her Elsa doll. It’s funny how several of the girls are willing to tell Nick about their Corinne anger this early in the game. Don’t they usually just complain about it in secrecy and hope he finds out? Nick definitely has the “chummy” thing down and maybe that makes the ladies feel more comfortable to share information like this earlier in the process.

Last very important observations:

  • The Husband likes Raven and her accent. I’m a little scared of her, but her boobs were truly magnificent as was her canary yellow bikini.
  • Brittany, Christen and Alexis scream “friend zone” to me.
  • Josephine still absolutely terrifies me and I have no idea what anyone finds attractive about a nose ring through both nostrils, but that’s just me.

At this point, I’d say Danielle L, Vanessa and Rachel have the best chemistry with Nick. If the Corinne nonsense can be dialed back, then Vanessa might make it the whole way. Rachel seems too intelligent to be pining for Nick’s attention, though she hasn’t really needed to yet. She must be getting a one on one date next week. Vanessa is not taking any of this Corinne bull and might not be able to forgive Nick once this is all over. Whitney and Astrid are incredibly beautiful – but we know nothing about either of them.

What did you all think? Can’t wait to hear!! As always – you can follow me on Instagram (@OfficeStace) til next week :)

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Brides, Bridesmaids, Boobs and Break-Ups, Nick Viall Gets To Know His Ladies on The Bachelor

"I think this is going to get me in trouble with the other ladies...but boobs..."

“I think this is going to get me in trouble with the other ladies…but boobs…”

I am anxiously waiting for The Husband to finish making his 8:44 PM EST peanut butter and jelly sandwich (the dinner of Champions) so that we can start up our DVR. Happy Monday night, Bachelor Fans. So happy we’re all back again on this freezing cold night. I swore that I’d make a nice home cooked meal last night. It was 18 degrees out when I woke up, but I trekked to our local grocery store with the idea of turkey tacos in my head. I spent a solid 30 minutes picking out salsa, corn tortillas, Spanish rice, Mexican shredded cheese, pinto beans – even the Hint of Lime Tostitos I like to break up into the turkey meat. After thinking that I’m clever for remembering fresh limes, I make it to the meat section only to discover that there is no ground turkey meat left. What the heck?!! The snowstorm on Saturday must have sent the locals into a panic and they bought up the whole store. I angrily texted The Husband about this. He told me to just roll the shopping cart down an aisle and run in the opposite direction out of the store.

I did end up buying the ingredients in my cart and tomorrow, The Husband promises to go buy turkey meat. But he’s already busted open our Tostitos bag (we all know that’s a bad sign) and I’m sure it’s only a matter of seconds before he starts making quesadillas with the Mexican cheese and corn tortillas (shoot, hope he’s not reading this and suddenly feeling inspired).

But on to Nick the Bachelor. Still not falling in Ben Higgins love with him, but he’s definitely entertaining. Or maybe the girls are. Corinne is such a piece of work – you have to wonder whether someone is paying her to be the seductive princess that everyone hates? I mean her self-righteous speeches to the competition about owning her crazy are simultaneously condescending and powerful – they send a strong message to the other women: TAKE OFF YOUR TOP AND DO THE JANET JACKSON IF YOU WANT TO GET NOTICED. Say all you want about Corinne, but it’s Nick I blame for encouraging this nonsense. He actually gave her the date rose. How on earth does he get away with holding Corinne’s jugs and making out with her right in front of the other ladies?!

Now Lacey (the other blonde, Corinne look alike who is Jewish and from NYC) tried to put it out there a bit more, but we’re certainly not seeing the kind of lust that Nick has for Corinne. Even if Lacey is kind of like Corinne’s stunt double. Nick thinks with one body part and it’s not his head. Perhaps this is what got him in trouble with his previous loves. He’s clouded by the thought of free boobies in his hands and a lady who will throw her pouty lips on him? I wish I could hang a snapshot of Corinne’s face when she saw the already topless girl in nothing but leaf covered bikini bottoms (think that was Brittany the travel nurse?). Corinne was already congratulating herself on being the sexiest with her skimpy white bikini top until she saw topless girl. Of course she had to one up her by taking her top off and forcing Nick to grab her. Speaking of which – do you think Nick has the ability to say “No,” to any of this? Both the Janet Jackson thing but also to Corinne continuously interrupting. How is he supposed to get to know any of the other ladies when she boomerangs herself back to him on every occasion?

I love Taylor’s calm demeanor around Corinne’s insanity, but Taylor is no match for Corinne, who we get the feeling has been around the block once or twice on getting a man’s interest. Taylor is literally like Cinderella Barbie Bride and Corinne is like the evil Step Mother. I’m terrified to see what comes next and completely excited at the same time. I also agree with Vanessa on her comment in scenes from next week – Is Nick really there to find actual true love? Or just to make out? It’s hard to take him seriously after watching him just go from girl to girl to girl – and unlike the most recent seasons, Nick is letting the girls watch him make out with their competition. Hasn’t he learned that this is a HUGE mistake?? I feel like he needs a Chris Harrison lecture or a guidance counselor other than Neil Lane. Maybe he can make a phone call to Brad Womack’s therapist?

So Nick picks blonde Danielle M for the big first one-on-one date. She’s one of my favorites and she’s definitely a laid back, kind soul. We heard her tragic back story, so immediately feel sympathy and find her to be both smart and strong in addition to adorable. I am not sure I saw fireworks go off between her and Nick. He described her as “cute,” upon which The Husband screamed out, “FRIEND ZONE!” and I think he might be right. She’ll certainly stick around for a while because she’s exactly the kind of girl he SHOULD be with but ultimately, he’ll go with what his lower half is looking for.

Ok, the second group date seemed a lot more cordial but let’s take a second to discuss Liz. She’s baffling to me. You know how I found Nick a bit smarmy (my favorite word) in past seasons? Yes I think he’s matured a lot and I do think he’s his best self ever (can’t really look down at a man with Nick’s tan upper half body when he’s wearing only a leaf covered banana hammock). But in tonight’s episode, I found Liz to be the shady one. Why didn’t she get in touch with him directly? Jade is saying to the press that Liz did try to reach out to him by having Jade invite him to a charity event. Nick declined as he was having discussions at the time to be the next Bachelor. Not sure we can blame Nick. If I was single and possibly had the opportunity to have my own show and choose from 30 dudes who were hand picked for me – I’d do the same.

I didn’t like that Liz told Christen her Nick backstory. How could that info benefit Christen in any way other than to make her jealous? Or was Liz feeling so insecure about her status on the show that she wanted to divulge her little secret? I’m glad Christen told Nick what was said – and actually, Nick ending it with Liz was the smartest thing he could have done. He’s got some baggage to clean up now with the other girls and come clean. But quite honestly – I think the girls may be disappointed that Nick didn’t tell them what was going on from the beginning, but they’ll be thrilled that he sent her home. I’m sure they’ll forgive him. Corinne’s breasts have already forgiven him and she doesn’t even know the issue yet. I am going to count the minutes until we see her facial reaction to the Liz confession from Nick.

The Relationship Break Up exercise was kind of fun to watch. Astrid is so perfect looking, she’s almost not real. So is the Russian dental hygienist, Kristina. I am absolutely terrified of Josephine. That slap would have been enough for me to give her the boot. Christen’s banter with Nick was endearing – she’s getting cuter the more I get to know her. But anyone who is being asked by the Bachelor to spend their alone time to talk about another contestant is going to be on the chopping block sooner or later. We all know this.

When Liz got her ton to “break up” with Nick, I was appalled that she used this opportunity to basically announce to the others that she’d known Nick before (even if they had no idea what she was talking about). It definitely sounded like she had made a decision to leave the show based on how she was feeling. It was a very confusing and not well thought out speech. Had to be the producers’ idea. I say this because what woman in her right mind who is trying to date a man would embarrass him like that by putting him on the spot, announcing their little secret publicly and then be expected to respond? Nick’s not the only one glad to see Liz go.

I loved Nick’s reaction to Jaimi revealing that she was in a past relationship with a woman. Again – don’t see more than a platonic friendship between these two, but he’s had to react to some interesting information being handed to him and he’s been great. I also am loving Dolphin / Shark girl and her boob-niversary. She seems like a lot of fun. She also really reminds me of Melissa Rycroft, but way funnier.

What did I miss? Who did you like? He didn’t give a date to first impression rose girl, Rachel, so she’s got to be losing her mind right about now. Hope we get to see what happens with them. I’m also still interested to see Vanessa’s time with Nick (though she didn’t seem to get much time on their group date), exotic Danielle L (small business owner in LA) and Elizabeth from Dallas. Most of these women are 23-25 which concerns me with someone like Nick who is 36. He literally has at least half of these women eating right out of his charming palm. How on earth do they have enough dating experience to handle someone like Nick? Maybe Corinne is the answer after all?

What do you think? Any big stand outs tonight besides the boobs?  Who are your favorites? Are you liking Nick? Thanks for all your comments last week – I read them all and try to respond. Lots of love to you all and if you want to see what I’ve been up to late – follow me on Instagram (handle is @OfficeStace).

Xoxo,

Stacey B

 

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New Year, New Nick? The Bachelor Returns!

THE BACHELOR - When Bachelorette Andi Dorfman said goodbye to Nick Viall just as he was preparing to pick out a ring for her, he was devastated. When Nick walked up to Kaitlyn Bristowe with an engagement ring in his pocket, only to be sent home, he was crushed. How could one man endure so much heartbreak? If you believe that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” Nick Viall, 35, a technology salesman from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, is back stronger than ever, ready and eager to begin his search for true love on the 21st season of ABC’s hit romance reality series “The Bachelor,” premiering on MONDAY, JANUARY 2 (8:00-10:01 p.m. EST), on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Craig Sjodin) CORRINE, RAVEN, SARAH, LAUREN, LACEY, SUSANNAH, ANGELA, DOMINIQUE, ALEXIS, ELIZABETH W., KRISTINA, OLIVIA, BRIANA, NICK VIALL, DANIELLE M., WHITNEY, JASMINE, JAIMI, IDA MARIE, VANESSA, TAYLOR, HAILEY, RACHEL, BRITTANY, ASTRID, CHRISTEN, JOSEPHINE, ELIZABETH "LIZ", MICHELLE, DANIELLE L., JASMINE G.

Nick & his girlfriends: CORRINE, RAVEN, SARAH, LAUREN, LACEY, SUSANNAH, ANGELA, DOMINIQUE, ALEXIS, ELIZABETH W., KRISTINA, OLIVIA, BRIANA, NICK VIALL, DANIELLE M., WHITNEY, JASMINE, JAIMI, IDA MARIE, VANESSA, TAYLOR, HAILEY, RACHEL, BRITTANY, ASTRID, CHRISTEN, JOSEPHINE, ELIZABETH “LIZ”, MICHELLE, DANIELLE L., JASMINE G.

Happy 2017, Bachelor Fans! I don’t know about you, but I am not missing 2016 one bit. I hope you’re snuggled up wherever you are recovering from your holidays and ready to take on the world come tomorrow. It’s been a little while since I’ve posted, so let’s catch you up on some things going on.

I had a rough Fall. Actually, the real stress started in August when I got back some bad check up blood tests. Long story short, I found out through those tests and follow up scans that I had recurrence of my carcinoid condition from years ago. Carcinoid is a rare form of a slow-growing cancer. It’s a whole, long painful story but suffice it to say that I had surgery in mid-September where they removed all evidence of the tumors from my mid-section. I spent a week in the hospital – the same hospital where I gave birth to my now 2 year old daughter, Ellie. Life and death – all in the same place. It’s wild out there.  I was out of work for a few weeks but am back in action like I never left. It was a really scary time in my life. The Husband, Ellie, my parents, my sister – were the reason I got through this. Also, the new mom friends that I’ve made in the last couple years were truly incredible. I didn’t really tell most people what was going on. It wasn’t that I wanted to hide my news – it’s just not the kind of news I felt like actively telling people. Nowadays when I pick up the phone to call someone, they’re expecting me to say something like, “I’m pregnant!” and “It’s twins!” but who knows what to say to your 39 year old female friend that calls to say, “I have cancer. AGAIN.”

Perhaps because of all the stress, pain and more stress I’ve had this year, I can appreciate watching something like The Bachelor even more than ever. So what if Nick is a bit confusing? Some hate him. Some are intrigued. From what I can tell, he’s human. He made me laugh more than a couple of times tonight. He’s had sex with a LOT of women – at least Andi, Kaitlyn and Jade’s friend. Oh and probably that girl Jen from Bachelor in Paradise who may have been classier than 95% of the women we saw tonight. Whatever Nick is – Viall, Vile, or Villain – he is exactly what I need right now. An entertaining, bag of energy who will be my weekly escape for the next couple months. I hope you’ll join me for that escape on this blog. If you’ve had a rough fall, winter or just want some people to chime in on this crazy show with, please join us.

Remember – no spoilers on this blog. We want to enjoy the ride, not know the ending before we see what unfolds.

Before we dive in to Nick’s premiere, it’s worth mentioning a few of the Bachelor world updates that I know of:

catherineseanFirst, Catherine and Sean Lowe’s baby boy – Samuel Thomas Lowe –  is the cutest guy ever. He looks exactly like Sean, but with Catherine’s eye shape perhaps? From their Instagram photos, he seems like a happy, chill dude. Desiree and Chris Siegfried are exploring parenthood with the birth of their first son, Asher.  Ashley & JP just had baby #2, a girl named Essex. She has an adorably insane amount of hair. Their older son, Ford, is a mini clone of JP.

Ali Fedotowsky is in wedding planning mode with boyfriend Kevin Manno. While everyone seems to think 2016 was pretty darn crappy (count me in that camp), Ali had a pretty amazing year – she became a mom to Molly. She’s also found a way to use her celebrity status to earn a living just by taking pictures of herself in clothes and posting where to get them. Not a bad gig. If I was posting pictures of the clothes I wore, not a single person would be interested – unless hard core fans of Old Navy, H&M and Gap.

The big question mark remains around Ben Higgins and Lauren Bushnell’s relationship. Their reality show seems to imply that they’re wedding is on hold for now but they’re still together. I can’t say that they’re an ideal match after watching a couple episodes of it. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking since Ben was the greatest Bachelor EVER and I still am secretly hoping he’ll come back to do an encore season and JoJo will go back on to compete. I know. I know. I have to give up already.

Seems like Kaitlyn and Shawn are still going strong in Nashville. And as insane as it seemed at the time, Carly and Evan are still together?! JoJo and Jordan are still together too – as long as she’s happy, I’m happy. In case you hadn’t heard – Grace (aka Lace and Grant) have broken up. This surprised nobody. Rumors are also out there that Amanda and Josh are done too. He was living out in California with Amanda and her two daughters but seems to have moved back to Atlanta. They haven’t formally announced their split – but numerous sources have confirmed this. Josh’s beloved dog Sabel died of cancer right before Christmas, and Amanda posted her support on social media. They apparently filmed together recently for an upcoming Bachelor special. Not sure when that will air. Amanda has her own blog too now and it’s filled with stories about her love for Josh. You also get a good appreciation for what a jackass her ex husband is.

robert-graham-becca-tilley-1ea73b7a-2734-4e7e-aeba-9e3a8ff00974Other juice…remember Becca the Virgin? Becca was the runner up to Chris the Farmer’s season but she also came back for Ben Higgin’s season where she befriended JoJo. Anyhow, Becca is now dating Robert Graham – pretty boy who dated blonde Sarah on Bachelor in Paradise but they ended up breaking up. Still have no idea who I’m talking about? See photo.

Last tidbit – Tenley has a serious boyfriend. And The Husband has already gone to bed, so I need to get on with this…

Nick’s Night. Some general observations:

  • Amazing how many accomplished, smart women the producers chose to come on the show. Lawyers, business owners, nurses, teachers and only a handful of unemployed, aspiring actresses. How on earth these people find time to leave work for this insanity, I have no idea. I wonder if they knew Nick would be The Bachelor when selecting these women and if he has a preference for women with careers. Also interesting that he didn’t choose the brunette model, Angela, in the red dress who was sweet and attractive. Nick likes his women with a little spunk to them.
  • Loved the diversity in the women tonight. There weren’t just 1 or 2 ethnic ladies. But better than that, we saw Nick have real chemistry with them.
  • This will be a very sexual season. Everyone already knows that Nick is all about sexual chemistry and exploring it on the show. Of course there will be Corinnes thrown in there to test the boundaries. I wouldn’t be surprised if Courteney Robertson showed up mid-season to go skinny dipping just to keep things interesting.
  • I really liked Vanessa – the Italian girl from Canada who is a Special Ed teacher. She seems mature, calm and elegant – similar to Jen.
  • Nick is 36. I wonder how much his age and wisdom of having been through this process multiple times will feed his ability to pick a suitable companion and weed out the crazies. You may hate Nick, but you can’t hate his abs. Although you get the sense that Nick is very aware of his abs so in that sense, I’m not super interested. On a scale from 1 to Ben Higgins, I’m about a 3.5 right now for Nick. This meter may change going forward.
  • It’s easy to see why Nick picked some of the drop dead beauties like Danielle L (nail salon owner?), Jasmine G (professional dancer), Kristina (slightly psychotic eastern European brunette), Taylor (23 year old mixed race girl whose friends hate Nick) and Whitney (German girl who looks like Belle from Beauty & the Beast).
  • Love that Nick picked the Shark Girl who thinks she’s a dolphin and how he joked around with her. She’s going to be very entertaining.
  • Also loved Danielle M, the blonde neonatal nurse from Nashville but it might be a problem if he ends up moving there since Kaitlyn already lives there with Shawn.
  • More diversity with Nick picking an openly Jewish girl – Lacey was sporting her star of David necklace. There’s also Jaimi – first time we’ve heard of an openly bisexual girl coming on as a contestant.
  • Josephine was scary to me. As was Raven’s accent and Sarah’s lips (though I did like that she wore sneakers with her gown).
  • Jury is out on Liz (Jade’s maid of honor). Based on their quick interaction, it was not a great convo / chemistry. I don’t like that she’s using this secret one night stand as a feather in her cap. I like that Nick’s radar was up to question Liz’s intentions. She had 9 months to come forward to pursue Nick but decides to show interest to be on the show? Couldn’t she just call him as Nick suggested? He’s right to be worried about her and what the other ladies might do if they find out she already had sex with him. Which we all know will happen.

Top picks for me:

Vanessa, Danielle M and Rachel (Rachel and Nick seemed extremely compatible). He may be into Whitney too, physically, but she may be too sweet for him. Hmmmm.

What did you all think? How were your holidays? We just got back from a fun family trip to San Diego. So much to do there with kids. We’re still jet lagged, but all worth it. Ellie keeps asking when we are going back to the hotel. I feel the same way. She’s the only human being I know who braves 58 degree Pacific ocean temperatures with absolute glee.

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