The Bachelorette Uncorks Her Feelings in Rioja, Spain

Final 3

Final 3

Rachel really “opens herself up” this week. She’s certainly spreading the love. She’s uncorking those wine bottles left and right this week. Yeah, you get it. Exotic overnights are upon us and we got the bonus of meeting Rachel the Bachelorette’s family a whole two episodes earlier than normal Bach timeframe.

First things first. The Husband texted me the following while I was at work today:

“Bach tonight. This season needs to end.”

If that’s not a wake up call, I’m not sure what is. What is it about this sleepy season that’s making it drag on and feel so, well, sleepy? By the time we were done with Rachel’s family, I was ready for bed. But we had a whole other hour and that’s when the sleeping around happens. Shouldn’t I have been more interested? Maybe it’s just so apparent how “off” the remaining men seem for Rachel. I mean, you’ve got Peter who seems to be the right middle ground for Rachel. He’s sincere, small town roots, good family, diverse friends (does this mean anything?) and even has the gapped tooth thing going for him. But he’s just not ready to propose after 9 weeks. He must be insane, right? Or maybe he’s actually normal. Why is he made to feel bad because he’s not committing to a life with Rachel before he’s actually ready? I just don’t get the love vibe from him. He’s under such a tremendous amount of pressure to feel a certain way and won’t succumb. He could lie about it – make a great name for himself and take advantage of all the publicity and probably make a nice little living earning an income on Instagram by modeling plaid and flannel shirts. But he’s being honest. This makes me (and Rachel’s mother) like him even more. But Rachel isn’t having it. He’s got to be going home next right?

Then you’ve got Sad Eyes Eric, who just seems so on another league / planet than Rachel. Yes, he’s sincere. Yes, he’s enthusiastic. Yes, he’s actually said the words, “Rachel Lindsay, I love you.” But every time they’re together, I feel like Rachel is Cinderella-ing him. She is so eager to throw exotic things his way and force him to articulate his feelings that there seems to be an almost teacher / student relationship between them. Or a Babysitter / Child. I have never had the feeling that they’re operating on the same level – emotionally, maturity-wise, financially, etc. I could get over the “I’ve never been in love before” factor if Eric seemed to be in sync with Rachel’s lifestyle. He’s a personal trainer. She’s a lawyer. How is that going to work? Is she going to support them financially? Is he going to move to Dallas and personally train her friends? Can they move into a wing of her parents’ house?

And then there’s Bryan. The mother and sister picked up on something within 3 minutes of him entering their home: (1) Doubts about his sincerity and (2) Concern about his close relationship with his mother. Did the producers tell Rachel’s mother about how intense Bryan’s mother was on the hometown? It’s almost like someone played her video footage of her over the top declarations about Bryan on last week’s show. They definitely grilled Bryan more than the other two guys. At least Rachel’s friends seemed to like him. Also, I thought we were going to meet Rachel’s friends from law school with Bryan. Did I miss that? It speaks volumes that out of her remaining 3, she only took Bryan to meet her real friends. Doesn’t that kind of mean she chooses him? Also, how much time passes between each parental meeting? Enough time for the flowers to wilt that each men brings the family? Or did they grill him more because Rachel already knows she is choosing him and they needed some more drama.

Some things that I question:

  • Did Rachel REALLY need to go back to the hotel room where the guys were staying for every “date?” Couldn’t she have just had the guys meet her one-on-one at some location in Dallas? It seemed unnecessary and uncomfortable. Why should the guys have to hang out together at this point and compare notes? I’m with Peter on this one. Bryan is just bragging and thinks he’s got this thing in the bag (he may be right).
  • Did Rachel REALLY need to go all in on those fake eyelashes again? She’s got such a pretty face, but the make-up is just RIDIC.
  • I felt bad for Eric needing to make a wish and ring the bell 3x because clearly he’s wishing for Rachel, but I just don’t see how that could actually happen. Also, if things don’t work out with Rachel, where does he go from here? It’s like trying to date someone after you’ve dated Daenerys Targaryen (Game of Thrones reference). It’s just disappointing and nobody can compare.
  • Why did Rachel work so hard to get Eric to verbalize his love? I felt like she was leading the witness. And he was too naive to realize it. I also felt like Rachel’s sister was cross examining Bryan. Maybe it’s in the blood?
  • Is it really against the law for a federal judge to be on The Bachelorette? Maybe he didn’t like the contract he’d have to sign to make an appearance and understood that he could be edited in a horrible way and didn’t want to risk it.
  • Mr. Rogers or Peter?

    Mr. Rogers or Peter?

    Does Peter feel like a younger, gap-toothed version of Mr. Rogers? I just don’t know where we go from here with Peter. If Bryan is too fiery and Eric is too childlike, then maybe Peter was the perfect middle ground? But he’s just not ready yet.

  • Can I just leave everything behind and head to Rioja, Spain RIGHT now? It looked absolutely incredible and I’d like my own locker of wine to drink away my sorrows. Who’s coming with me?
  • Let’s discuss Rachel’s parents’ house. That was the largest house I’ve seen since JoJo’s season of Bachelorette. Can you imagine what Eric must have thought when he saw the size of it? I mean, it’s completely intimidating to a normal person, but to someone who is not used to seeing something like this, it must have blown his mind and added to the Cinderella fantasy.
  • Did Eric and Rachel do IT? They must have, right? Especially once we see the morning after shots with his shirt off, I think we’re safe to assume it happened. I mean, if Rachel had gotten me to confess that I loved her after showing me her insane mansion that she grew up in, I’d have likely gone all the way too. Is this wrong? Did I mention she also took me on a helicopter ride?  Oh AND I got the green light from her mother to propose if Rachel was all in? Even if I’m having some doubts about forever with Rachel, I am not having any doubts about her parents’ house and having a federal judge for a father in law might definitely come in handy.
  • So now it’s Peter’s turn to do the dance. Again, wondering how much time has passed since her Eric dance. And he’s right on the brink of getting that clearly female written card from Chris Harrison inviting him to a fantasy suite and he can’t get on the same page as Rachel. Can’t they sleep together and THEN see how he feels? Or he won’t even do that because he’s Mr. Rogers?
  • Is Peter being groomed to be our next Bachelor? Or would middle-America protest his gap-toothed ways?
  • Will Bryan’s mom join them in the fantasy suite?

MUST GO TO BED. Am I being too harsh? What are your thoughts? Is there any sustainable match here? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Xoxo,

Stacey B (@OfficeStace)

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The Bachelorette Gets Real Life in Hometown Visits

Circus O'Dean

Circus O’Dean

The Husband is downstairs getting me a slice of delicious pizza at 10:30 PM at night. I made the mistake of thinking I could watch Bachelorette after running 40 minutes in 85 degree NYC heat with leftovers as dinner, watch 2 hours of Bach and then blog. My stomach says otherwise. I’m STARVING.

Until he comes back, I’ll type very quickly about what I observed tonight on Hometown Dates. Usually one of my favorite episodes of a Bachelor / Bachelorette season, these hometowns were very B+. I mean, there’s the Dean factor, but that’s a whole other ball game and didn’t feel like Bachelorette drama – it was more that I felt bad for Dean and his family. Like a Bachelorette tragedy side story.

But let’s start with Eric. He has definitely built the most momentum out of everyone left in the group. There is a New York Times article that came out about how this season raises many challenges given the many different socio-economic differences in the contestants that have never been raised previously. Take Eric, for example. He grew up in a tough neighborhood within Baltimore. These are not the typical affluent contestants we’re used to seeing. The ones that we ultimately learn have parents that travel the world volunteering and have a $2M net worth from picking up their parents’ tips from their own financial success (That’s You, Jef “with one f” Holm from Emily Maynard’s season) up on a 300 acre farm or whose parents own a multi million dollar toy company (I’m looking at you, Caila Quinn) Eric seems to have had a challenging relationship with both of his parents and witnessed many family members and friends go to prison. But nothing felt warmer than that greeting Rachel got when she walked into his family. They were cheering Eric on and felt like family immediately. It was such a unique perspective on Eric and how remarkable he truly is for being who he is despite what he has had to grow up around and rise above. I love that Rachel sees this in Eric and adores him for it.  I also loved his Aunt Verna who looked EXACTLY like Eric.

A pizza is here. Please hold.

That was amazing. But not as amazing as Bryan’s mom’s love for him. I was instantly terrified of her. She actually reminded me of an ex-boyfriend’s mother. Extremely intense. Over-the-top dramatic. Willing to do anything to keep Bryan to herself. Did you hear how she openly told Rachel that Bryan could never leave her? That he needed to stay close by. That he is her life. So basically Rachel will need to marry both of them but always play second fiddle to his mother. This picture is becoming a lot clearer on why Bryan is 37 and still single. Also, did you hear how his mother discussed all of the women that Bryan has dated in Miami. Multiple mentions of multiple women. She’s very skeptical that he’s found THE ONE on a TV show. She just seems ready to sabotage their relationship at all costs – I mean now it’s all TV cameras and introductions and putting our best foot forward and praying in church. But she does not seem the type of woman that you want to cross. In fact, I’d like to see an episode of what Bryan’s mother really thinks after Rachel left and then play it for Rachel. That’s my idea of fireworks.

Yes, Bryan dropped the love bomb on Rachel and was the first one to do it. (Rachel didn’t accept Eric’s – “I love this girl” – declaration as the real deal. Or maybe she just didn’t want to hear it). But I feel Bryan’s plea is more like a – GET ME THE HELL AWAY FROM MY CRAZY MOTHER? Or maybe he does adore Rachel – but can anyone honestly see them lasting long terms with that sort of a personality? OMG.

On to Peter. What struck me as interesting about Peter, particularly in light of the New York Times article cited above, was how diverse his friends are. I mean, Madison, Wisconsin has a very small Black population and Peter (who I believe is Caucasian), says that 8 out of his 10 closest friends are Black. In meeting his friends at the bar in Madison, Peter seems a lot older than his friends. Maybe it’s a bit of salt and pepper hair color (premature gray?), but I imagine Peter seems to stand out amongst the crowds in Madison – he just has a distinguished look that sets him apart and makes you wonder if he stepped out of a Brooks Brothers advertisement. I loved Peter’s family. Besides Eric’s, they were very down to earth and welcoming to Rachel. I don’t get the feeling that Peter is ready for what Rachel is ready for. I don’t think that’s Peter’s fault, but I do think that will be their downfall. Rachel wants the fairytale and wants it in 3 weeks. Peter seems more grounded and not like someone that can be pushed.

I’m not really sure what to make of the Dean hometown date. Did Dean actually hire a whole bunch of actors to be his family? Do people like his father really exist in the US? I felt awful that such an intimate, important discussion between Dean and his father was being captured on national TV. It just didn’t feel normal to be watching such a thing and to see Dean not get out of it what we all wanted him to get out of it was even more awkward and disappointing. I know we were in Aspen, Colorado for his hometown, but in reality, this is not Dean’s life. He’s out in Venice, CA doing his thing. And after being on Bachelorette, he’ll have a world of doors opening for him. He’s ripe for Bachelor in Paradise, becoming a model or even becoming crazy Ashley Iaconetti’s next infatuation. Side note: do you know that Ashley I and Ben Higgins have a podcast that they do together? UGH.  I feel bad that Dean has been through so much, but something tells me he’ll be just fine.

I think we all knew that Dean had to go. I mean – how do you encounter a hometown like that and want to join that sort of family? Yes, Dean has a lot of fine qualities that have nothing to do with his crazy genetic pool. But ultimately, he’s a 25 year old who needs to find himself a bit more and process the very painful past he’s had to endure. Should there be another Bach spinoff of some of these contestants in group therapy? Ashley I and her sister might be great contributors as well. Jake the Pilot for sure – serious anger issues. Maybe even get Vienna in there just for fun.

What did you all think of tonight’s hometowns? Do you think it’s possible to love Bryan AND his mother? Can Peter’s timeline be sped up? Do Eric or Peter even have an inkling of chance when you see the chemistry between Rachel and Bryan?

Let’s hear it.

Xoxo,

Stacey B (http://www.instagram.com/OfficeStace)

 

 

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Swanky in Switzerland: The Bachelorette Hands Out Roses for Hometowns

Can a man in a plaid tux actually have a sense of humor? Or is the plaid tux the humor?

Can a man in a plaid tux actually have a sense of humor? Or is the plaid tux the humor?

It was my first day back in the office today after a week of sun, sunblock and running on the beach in Puerto Rico. Mondays are tough. But Mondays after a week of pure bliss are virtually impossible. Even remembering that Bachelorette was on tonight didn’t give me the usual boost to power through the day. What can I say? 48 hours ago, I was deciding where to have lunch in between taking my daughter’s hand to jump ocean waves. It was awesome. Like Bachelorette date awesome.

Anyhow, the good news is that Wally our dog is back home but I think he was bored by tonight’s episode because he’s been snoring since Dean’s date. Also, it’s still summer, which means hopefully some more sun filled weekends to look forward to. Third, we got to go to Switzerland tonight. It’s a beautiful country, but these dates practically lulled me to sleep. At least we’ve narrowed the field significantly and are on our way to hometowns.

Some thoughts on tonight’s dates:

  1. I’m not convinced that Rachel will ultimately be happy with any of these guys. I still think her best shot at long term happiness was Will, and she sent him home too early. She’s willing to dig deep to get through Dean’s light hearted humor / inability to deal with / have an actual conversation of substance with Rachel but she won’t do the same for Will? Not sure what gives. From the previews of Dean’s father next week, we might actually get some real drama. Is Rachel going to look past his father’s guru insanity? Dean seems like a sweet kid but he’s nowhere close to the level of maturity that Rachel is at.
  2. So Latin Lover Bryan and Seriously Bearded Peter are our front runners and I’m skeptical of both. She’s head over heels for Bryan and is looking for flaws. I think Dean made an interesting comment that the guy is 37 years old, has had plenty of experience in sweet talking women – and Bryan himself said that his last relationship ended because it was too much passion up front? Or maybe because something happened with his mother that drove her away? Why didn’t we get more details? What’s wrong with his mother? Can the passion between Rachel and Bryan last? Should we all be worried? I kind of like that he’s 37, but it does beg the question of why have his previous relationships not worked out? He’d be a catch on paper for sure.
  3. Peter’s energy is just too serious to be trusted. I do worry that he’d be able to fall passionately for Rachel and still have the personality that she’s looking for. My favorite part of their interaction was the outtake at the end when we had an up the crotch angle of Rachel while they were dog sledding. Yes, they were talking about their bowel movements, but it was the closest to a sense of humor that Peter came. I don’t understand his break up with his last girlfriend. He mentioned they grew apart but then when he was moving out, she came around the corner crying and he just drove away? Why was she crying? Did he just never talk to her again? I don’t think we’ve gotten to the bottom of this.
  4. And then there’s Eric. It sounds like he grew up in a completely different background than Rachel. It’s pretty amazing that Rachel is so open minded to want to explore that relationship as well as Dean’s crazy family, but hey, maybe she already knows she’s choosing Peter and Bryan in the end, so perhaps it makes sense to go for more of the drama??

Things I Can’t Stop Thinking About:

  1. Rachel’s eyelashes. They were literally like Snuffaluffagus from Sesame Street’s eyelashes. Very distracting and HDTV doesn’t do her any favors because you can actually see where each of the hairs are glued to her eyelids. She’s a pretty girl – she doesn’t need all that nonsense.
  2. The tears that Rachel had when saying goodbye to Matt from Meriden, CT. She said that out of everyone, he reminded her the most of herself? And that if they had met in the real world and could take things slower, they could have a chance? What kind of crazy talk is this? Matt reminds me of a less attractive version of Bryan. I don’t see Rachel in him. I think they only kissed once? Did she really feel bad about him going?
  3. I am not sure the story with Adam is. I never found him attractive, though his family sounds pretty awesome. I mean, I guess I’m not over the Will departure (clearly), so when I think about Adam or Matt or Eric compared to someone like Will, there IS no comparison. I’m not sure what she sees in any of these 3 over Will. Eric is just a bit too dramatic for me. His personality with the guys is completely different than when he’s with Rachel. So I don’t trust he’s this shiny, extroverted, caring, attentive gentleman. I just don’t buy it. Plus he was borderline drama queen, mopey guy just several weeks ago.
  4. There’s no chance in hell that Rachel actually spent her own money to buy Bryan that watch, right? I’m sure the show bought it for them. And Bryan MUST know that, so his whole make out with Rachel when she says that she’ll buy him that watch has to be an act? It was so confusing and I wasn’t sure what to think.  PS – in doing absolutely minimal research, it looks like a Breitling watch like the one Bryan got will run between $4-5K. If Rachel IS paying with her own money, then Bryan is definitely her guy. Let’s get 100. Let’s go 100? Be 100? Eh, who cares.
  5. Dean got screwed with his date. I mean, you’re in Switzerland – if you’re not taking him to drive Bentleys and buying him expensive watches, then take the guy to a Swiss Chocolate factory or something. Where does Rachel take him? To CHURCH. Oh and then she wonders why things seemed “off” with him. I felt the same awkwardness on their date that I did with her last date with Will. She seems to have these very high expectations for how the date should go, but she’s not saying anything until the end.
  6. Was there a geyser going off on purpose when Rachel and Dean kissed at the end of their date? Was that supposed to be symbolic? Or was that decorative?
  7. Did everyone see how one of the one on one dates ended at Hotel Edelweiss? Do you think they play the Sound of Music movie there every hour on the hour? I MUST go to it

So we’re headed to hometowns next week: Bryan in Miami, Eric in Baltimore, Peter in Wisconsin and Dean in Aspen. How’s your Aspen? Do you think any of them stand a chance against Bryan? Maybe Peter, if he can guarantee Rachel that he won’t ditch her in the end. I don’t understand all the previews of him making her cry? Does that come later? We’ll have to see.

What did you all think?

Have a great week.

xoxo,

Stacey B (@OfficeStace)

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Will He? Did The Bachelorette Just Send Home The Future First Black Bachelor?

Future Bachelor? How can Rachel say he wasn't physical with her? He's shoving his finger into her mouth. Come on...

Future Bachelor? How can Rachel say he wasn’t physical with her? He’s shoving his finger into her mouth. Come on…

I’m struggling to keep my eyes open right now. Long work day + Getting phone call that toddler refuses to participate in ballet class + My sister’s birthday + Close friend delivering her baby today + Realizing at 6:30 PM that I need to go get snack for toddler’s camp group tomorrow + 2 hours of Night 2 of a somewhat sleepy Bach season = I’ve had it.

Here’s all I’ve got to say about tonight and then please chime in with your own opinions:

  • I already miss Will. Yes, he may not have been as overly aggressive physically as some of her other men (read: Bryan’s eel tongue in Rachel’s mouth), but I found him old fashioned and charming. This was, after all, their FIRST one on one date. Yes they were in a romantic setting, but he seems like a gentleman. I honestly think he could have gotten to the physical intimacy if she gave him half a minute. Also, why didn’t she bring up her concerns earlier? Will’s a smart guy – I think he would have clarified his romantic / physical interest in Rachel and flipped the switch accordingly. I think she sent home one of the only guys who is really ready for a long term, serious relationship that could be based on mutual respect, friendship and love. He’s also ripe for being our next Bachelor. Good looking, tall, smart, extremely articulate and now he’s been heartbroken 2x.
  • I knew that Kenny’s eye cut had nothing to do with Lee. I still don’t understand why he left Rachel in the helicopter to go back and taunt Lee one more time. I wonder what Lee has to say for himself now and all the lies he told Rachel. Who cares, they’re both gone. I love Kenny’s daughter – she’s wise beyond her years. I’m glad Kenny went home to her.
  • Rachel’s date with Eric was magical. He had an entirely different personality than when he’s moping around the house. I just wonder who is the real Eric – enchanting, kid in a candy store, upbeat Eric? OR mopey, insecure, sad eyes Eric.  He’s the only remaining African American. Interesting.
  • The Russian is PERFECT for Bachelor in Paradise. I hope he makes it there.
  • Kudos to Rachel for basically calling Lee a BIG FAT LIAR. See, she figured it out on her own. Nobody needed to whisper in her ear. She once again shows great poise and judgment. (Not according to Josiah, but that guy had to go).
  • Denmark looks adorable. Is that where danishes come from? If you’re looking for something to do – check wikipedia: here
  • Rachel is so ga-ga for Peter and Bryan, it’s hard to actually take any of the other guys seriously. Like Adam? I feel like we can just fast forward to these two dudes and be done with it.
  • Viking date – not my thing but funny to watch Dean get labeled as a girly Viking. I could have predicted that. He’s so pretty.
  • I feel like there was a lot of filler on this date – Rachel crying, Kenny crying, Rachel pondering meaning in Shakespeare plays. Did she really know Hamlet’s “to thine own self be true” or did someone feed her that line. If it was hers, it’s impressive. Though I care to guess that nobody else there had any clue what she was talking about.

Ok, I’m done talking and thinking about Bach this week. I want to hear your thoughts.

Are you into this season? Is there anyone else besides Peter or Bryan that even have a chance? Are you sad about Will leaving like I am? Does he have any chance at being the show’s first Black Bachelor???

Xoxo,

Stacey B (Instagram: @OfficeStace)

 

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A Snake in Oslo: The Bachelorette Repels & Plays Handball in Norway

The love they're feeling...can't stop. Won't stop. Bryan for the adrenaline date.

The love they’re feeling…can’t stop. Won’t stop. Bryan for the adrenaline date.

Happy Double Bachelorette week, Bach fans! I was so tired after a long weekend but was pleasantly surprised (Husband was NOT) when I remembered that we’re doubling up on episodes this week. Also, for those that haven’t heard, the controversial investigation into Bachelor in Paradise was concluded, there was no evidence of really bad “stuff” and so the filming has resumed. Whether this pushes back the original premiere date of August 8th is yet to be seen. Rumor has it that Corinne and DeMario are not returning to film. Corinne supposedly wasn’t invited and DeMario is still suing. Ah well.

I was a bit confused on the sequencing of tonight’s episode. We start in the middle of the group cocktail party. The Husband kept saying he thought it was the rose cocktail ceremony. He was also confused later on when Rachel got in that hot tub with Peter. He took a bite of chicken (The Husband, not Peter) and 5 seconds later he thought we were on a one-on-one date with Peter and Rachel. He didn’t believe me that this was still the group date. Clearly, this was planned in advance and Rachel chose Peter to spend this time with. The guys joke and say it’s 3.5 hours later when Peter returns solo and a bit ruffled. That must truly be awkward. I wonder how long it really was – long enough that nobody was allowed to go interrupt them. Also, did Rachel just happen to bring a bathing suit with her during the night time group cocktail party? But wait, we’re not even up to THAT cocktail party.

Let’s rewind to last week’s group date which carried into tonight. Kenny and the Snake Lee (not a cousin of Spike Lee) are going at it. Kenny is holding back with every inch of his fiber but all wondering when he’s going to lose it and if the previewed blood over his eye is something related to Lee or an edited shot of a group date activity. Lee is the definition of “poking the bear” and he’s enjoying Kenny’s inability to just ignore him. Now Will, who I am loving more and more each week – and who just oozes good guy – gives Lee some insight into why Kenny is all rattled. The first actual discussion about race takes place here. Pretty amazing that this is how it came out, but it still didn’t seem to make Lee change his behavior.

So then that group date rose goes to Bryan, who is all in love and fantasied up and perfect guy and wait, why was there a boat on their cocktail party for him and Rachel to exchange very tongue heavy kisses on? Anyhow, Rachel is not shy about giving more and more reassurance to the guys she likes the most and seem to be in the top seats (Bryan and Peter). PS I also felt bad for Peter since if he really was gone for hours to make out with Rachel – and he actually did want to slow things down so that they could talk more (a true gentleman – perhaps part vampire, but noble nonetheless) – he has a right to be insulted that Rachel didn’t give him the group rose. And you know I love Will. But come on – you can’t strip down to a bathing suit during a group date, invite a guy to come grind with you underwater and then give the group date rose to someone else. Unless you’re Rachel. Peter is seriously pondering what went wrong in that hot tub. Nothing, Peter. She’s got you in the palm of her hand – she’s just trying to build up Will’s confidence.

The one-on-one date with Jack was simply painful to watch. I stopped confusing him with Bryan once I saw how intense his facial expressions were. His teeth are a little too white and sparkly. His eyebrow points up when he thinks he’s being clever. It was just generally repulsive and the more he talked about how he was suddenly struck by his feelings for Rachel, the more she recoiled (another snake term there). The nail in the coffin was his response to what he’d do with Rachel if he could take her back to Dallas right there and then. Because laying in bed with a locked door to hang out with Jack who kinda looks like Bryan is absolutely unappealing in every way to Rachel. He did not pick up on a single clue of Rachel’s lack of interest. Maybe he wanted to believe it was there so bad, he didn’t care that she was utterly uninterested.

Oslo, Norway looks amazing. Who else was hoping that there would be some sort of Frozen scene with Anna and Elsa and Olaf and ice sledding? I mean ABC is owned by Disney and I’d like to have been brought to Arendelle or a Frozen type ice palace of some sort. Whatever, there’s always tomorrow.

So of course Bryan is getting that one on one date to explore the city. We saw our first adrenaline date of the season and Rachel is DIGGING it. Is her relationship with Bryan too hot and fiery to last? They talk about it being too good to be true, but is it?

OH BREAKING NEWS – I INTERRUPT THIS BLOG POST BECAUSE I FORGOT TO TELL YOU GUYS WHO I SAW LAST WEEK AS I WAS LEAVING MY WORK OFFICE BUILDING. It was none other than Catherine Giudici Lowe (Sean Lowe the Bachelor’s wife!!). She was pushing a stroller with one hand and had their gorgeous baby in the other. It was a very hot June day and apparently they were town all of last week. I did what any normal Bachelor fanatic did and COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FROZE AND BECAME MORONIC. Seriously. I managed a, “You’re Catherine!” and she smiled and I said, “Oh Wow. You’re in New York!” and she kind of gave me a polite nod perhaps wondering if I was an actual stalker (I am) or just a random crazy New Yorker (correct again).  After she passed me, I ended up just saying, “I love you guys. Have a great time in New York.” And she gave me another cute Catherine smile and walked (probably ran) away. I should have offered her a bathroom or water in my office had I been able to use my brain properly. UGHHH. Oh well, still absolutely made my day.

So Bryan is laying it on thick. The Husband was getting nauseous with all the tongue kissing. At one point he asked me if they were co-eating an eel or if that was just their shiny tongues being passed back and forth into their mouths. Interesting question. By the time the Bryan date is over, we can pretty much end the season now, right? Because he’s basically already declared his love and we know that Rachel feels at least the same and has since the first night. Can we go home now? Or did her hot tub with Peter sway her another way?

The group date was fun to watch this week. Hand ball looks intense but the uniforms alone were worth watching. Did you guys notice Alex the Russian’s partial French braid? He continues to crack me up every time. But I’m not sure if Rachel can take him seriously or he’s always a goofball. I absolutely love Will and wish Rachel would give him a one-on-one date. He’s kind of late to join the Rachel party so I fear it may be too late for him to catch up to her interest in Bryan, Peter and Dean (thought Dean was way in the background tonight).

Eyes are closing, so it must be time to wrap things up. The two on one date is just annoying. I’m losing interest in the Lee / Kenny feud. Lee is picking on Kenny, for sure, and Lee is manipulative and now lying about Kenny. Rachel must know that. I mean, is she remotely attracted to Lee? Can’t she kick him off because of his obnoxious, overly aggressive hair part alone? I would. But alas, we have to see what absolutely fired up Kenny is going to do to Lee. Because he’s laughing at him like a madman. And then we’re just left to wait. Where is Rachel why this mad fit of laughter is happening?

Til tomorrow, Bachelor fans. I hope you’re keeping it 100 with whomever you’re hanging out with.

Xoxo,

Stacey B

PS

I just can’t with any more of Kenny’s snake analogies…even if they’re true

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Paradise Lost? The Bachelorette Challenges The Drama As Her Men Squabble

All smiles with Dean

All smiles with Dean

So much to discuss tonight. Like how I almost got killed on my way home from work due to the insane NYC lightning / 60 mph winds and thunderstorms. It was actually the perfect impending backdrop for tonight’s Bachelorette. I was also umbrella-less and the storm’s severity sent every cell phone within a 10 mile radius into a buzzing, pitching tizzy. In any event, I made it home soaked and alive. Barely.

After a hazy couple of weeks of drama surrounding the currently filming of Bachelor in Paradise (BIP = RIP?), I was happy to be back to Rachel’s sunny disposition and mastery of Bachelorette skills if any Bachelorette ever had such skills. But overall, she’s still got a lot of fat trimming to do with these men until I can take them seriously.

Before we get into it, let’s just recap some of the Bach newsworthy items we’ve heard over the last couple weeks:

Carly & Evan - Match made in Paradise

Carly & Evan – Match made in Paradise

  • First off, Carly Waddell married Evan Bass – remember these guys from the last season of Bachelor in Paradise? Carly treated him horribly and couldn’t be more repulsed by him. Then he somehow charmed her and despite holding a World Record for the longest, most awkward kiss in Bach history, they’re now married. ABC will show the wedding in an upcoming episode or special.
  • In case you’ve been trapped in a bunker with no cell service for the last 2 weeks, the breaking news in Bachelor land is that filming was suspended for Bachelor in Paradise which was supposed to air in August. There are all sorts of rumors flying around, but basically the show is investigating “sexual misconduct” that involved Corinne’s “Platinum Vagine” and DeMario “DeOusted” by Rachel. Cast members were sent home with no explanation and one of the producers is suing the show as is Corinne and everyone is all lawyered up. We’ll have to wait to see what the next steps are. The whole situation is just sad because people find TRUE LOVE on this show. Like Lace and Grant (RIP) and Amanda Standon and Josh (RIP). Oh wait, they both broke up. But we love to watch them! Because what is summer without Bachelor in Paradise and more drunk people making out and fighting and getting dumped in a pool? PS – Jade and Tanner are expecting their first baby very soon. See, true love CAN happen in Paradise.
  • Trista Sutter (first Bachelorette) was on vacation with her family in Croatia when she suddenly had a “violent” seizure. It sounds like Trista is ok now, but it was quite the scare.

Ok, I’m now ready to move on to Rach and this episode. Not sure if it was me, but this episode did seem to drag. There are still too many odd balls still remaining. For example, let’s just cut out Lee, Kenny, Iggy and Josiah right now.

Why do I say this?

  1. Lee is an instigator. His insane hair part that doves into a surfer wave, minus the one imperfect strand that falls beneath the huge wave when he’s defending himself, is just intolerable to watch. He’s been throwing out really stupid phrases that imply he’s questionably racist or at the very least, incredibly stupid. At the same time, he knows how to turn it on with Rachel and for some reason she finds him more of a potential match than DIGGY, who COME ON, is on the other team for sure (not that there’s anything wrong with that). I’d certainly want to spend an evening getting styled by Diggy than listen to one more minute of Lee’s nonsense or see his squirmy fake smile. UGH.
  2. Kenny’s temper is too much. And based on next week’s preview, he should just go right now. Also the free style rap thing is just too much. He’s a little too much showmanship and should be a little more Rachel savvy. She’s not into the flashy. I think Kenny means well and it all comes from a good place, but he’s literally killing his chances by the second.
  3. Iggy is just a joke. There’s not an ounce of Rachel that’s interested in that.
  4. There are parts of Josiah that are wonderful – sense of humor, spelling abilities and his drive. But altogether, he’s a big mess and can’t get out of his own way.

As for this week’s dates, Dean is like a living Ken doll. Those blue eyes, dark hair, white teeth. In fact, if Bachelor in Paradise is gone forever, the show could make up revenue by selling Dean dolls. He’s almost too pretty to be taken seriously. I do agree with the concern of his age. Even watching how he opened up to Rachel about his mother’s death felt very raw and unprocessed. He had never told another person about it at age 25 and this happened when he was 15? His family “fell apart” after his mother’s death and it sounds like he hasn’t fully gotten his head around it and really dealt with what happened. In my opinion, Dean seems like a nice enough guy – he seems to come from a similar background as Rachel, but he needs about 5-8 years more to bake. Maybe get in trouble a little.

Also The Husband is convinced that with his pretty boy looks and white pants he was sporting during their evening date, that Dean is on the same team as Diggy. I still picture Dean as the lead character of a 1950s high school musical.

The group date was fun to watch. Props to Peter for trying to free style rap. His confidence shined through, but I was still cringing the entire time.  Peter seems a bit on the serious side. Not sure he’s free spirited enough for Rachel. The Husband thinks if you clean shaved his face, it would grow back 30 seconds later.

I don’t think Will is getting enough air time. His voice reminds me of Obama for some reason. Will just oozes good guy and I hope we get to see more of him. Plus he was runner up in the Spelling Bee, so perhaps he’s got brains to match the looks?

I am absolutely confused by Bryan (Latin Lover) and Jack (who I honestly can’t recall before tonight). I thought they were one person before Jack got all excited about getting the second one on one. Speaking of which – did we miss Jack’s date or did they just not finish the group date? Perhaps this is why we needed 2 episodes next week. Back to back!

Highlights for me on this episode:

  • Watching Rachel’s reaction to talking with Bryan and Peter versus any other guy in the house. She’s absolutely smitten with these two.
  • Rachel’s reaction when Eric tries to kiss her. She’s taken aback, but goes for it. Not sure she’s feeling it.
  • Watching how Rachel plays judge at every controversial event that takes place in the house. She literally is having these guys present their case, but does it in this flirtatious, non-confrontational way. She is so done with the Foolish Four (Lee, etc.)
  • Rachel taking the reins on the Blimp date. So many times it’s the women who are timid and the men have to “save” them. I loved watching Rachel embody a strong, fearless woman who comforts her timid, fearful date. I also loved how she jumped into one of the pilot seats and took over. Watching Dean together with Rachel, they almost have a big sister, little brother relationship. She’s his babysitter? Even how they walk with their arms around each other versus holding hands, just seems a bit chummy to me. What do you think?

And with that, it’s time to dive into bed and reflect on whether the Kenny bloody eye shot was from an actual fight with Lee or something completely unrelated that they’re editing to make us think was horrific.

I’m still excited about Will even though Rachel’s only got eyes for Bryan and Peter at this point. The rest seem like immature SCHMUCKS. And that was the easiest word to spell, btw. Who are your favorites? Who is going home next week?

Happy Monday. Stay cool and away from open fields if you’re in a lightning storm.

Til next week,

Stacey B (@OfficeStace on Instagram)

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