Check Out the Latest Press for Knot the One!

knottheone-final-revisedAs we bid farewell to 2015, I wanted to take a moment and reflect on what an incredibly fortunate and exciting year it’s been. Having The Husband by my side to watch our baby girl-turn-toddler grow and develop a little more each day has been absolutely incredible and the highlight of my year. She seems to become a different human being in addition to becoming more and more alive each week. Her speech has gone from “mommy” and “daddy” to “hot tub” and “ping pong.” She’s curious and loving and independent all at once. I can’t wait to see where this next year will take her.

Besides my family and our daily jobs, I was able to see my memoir, Knot the One, get published. The story of how I got dumped before my wedding went from my blackhole nightmare to one of my greatest achievements to date – 7 years in the making. In case you haven’t had a chance to get your copy, you can get it in e-book or print here: http://www.amazon.com/Knot-One-Getting-Wedding-Happened-ebook/dp/B0153OI1W6 or you can read a summary and order here: http://thoughtcatalog.com/book/knot-the-one/. Please leave a review on Amazon.com when you’re finished.

You can check out the latest press here:

TV, Radio & Print Press:

ABC News, Nightline, December 10, 2015: http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/jilted-brides-found-happy-ending-fiancs-called-off/story?id=35700629

Live Radio Show – Happy Hour with Jonna & Keryl on 97.7 FM, Interview with Author Stacey Becker aired December 17, 2015

Daily Voice, November 13, 2015: http://clarkstown.dailyvoice.com/neighbors/ex-new-city-resident-writes-memoir-after-being-dumped-by-fiance/601877/

New York Post, October 22, 2015: http://nypost.com/2015/10/22/i-was-dumped-right-before-my-wedding-and-ive-never-been-happier/

Daily Mail, October 22, 2015: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3285244/Woman-reveals-fianc-dumped-wedding-claiming-wasn-t-ready-married-got-engaged-just-THREE-MONTHS-later.html

Millennial Magazine, December 16, 2015: http://millennialmagazine.com/dumped-by-your-fiance-why-its-a-blessing-in-disguise/

SHEmazing.net, October 30, 2015: http://www.shemazing.net/knot-the-one-what-its-like-to-be-dumped-right-before-your-wedding-day/

Glamourpage.com, October 23, 2015: http://www.glamourpage.com/woman-discovers-ex-fiance-is-already-engaged-three-months-after-calling-off-their-wedding/

Podcast Press:

Entrepreneur Podcast Network, December 11, 2015: http://epodcastnetwork.com/knot-the-one-nyc-author-stacey-becker-dishes-on-blessings-in-disguise-in-new-memoir

The Social Scene with JZ Podcast, November 20, 2015: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/social-scene-with-jz/id964989011?mt=2&i=357525620

Coming Soon:

Interview with Brides.com, January 2016

Interview with Love and Romance Radio with Laurie Sue Brockway (Huffington Post columnist) and Victor Fuhrman , January 2016

Interview with Grazia Magazine (in Italian), January 2016

Interview with The Journal News, January 2016

Interview by Women Worldwide with Deirdre Breakenridge, February 2016

Share

Pre-Order My E-Book – Knot the One

knottheone-final-revisedYou guys, it’s here!!! I am beyond thrilled to announce that after 7 years of working on the story of how I got dumped before my wedding, my e-book, Knot the One, is out tonight for pre-order. Please spread the word and get your copy. It’s available through Amazon and iTunes – this link will take you there. http://amzn.com/B0153OI1W6

If you need your crazy relationship fix now that Bachelor in Paradise is over – this is the answer! Thanks in advance!!

 

Share

Hi-Ho, Oh-No, It’s Back to Work I Go!

IMG_6736Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone. Apologies it’s been so long since I’ve last posted. All is well here. Crazy and busy and waking up at 6:45 AM every single day and go-go-go til bedtime without fail, kind of crazy. Ellie is in a glorious phase of smiling, screaming, saying “hahhhh” which we figured out meant “hi” every time she sees someone knew. She’s saying “bahhhh” when someone leaves too. She’s 8.5 months old. Sleeping through the night (except the last 2 nights as she’s teething). No crawling yet, just pushing herself backwards into inconvenient corners, then muttering to us until we come rescue her. She loves all things music and thinks clapping is the greatest thing in the world. Her cheeks are so squeezable and I find myself watching everything she does in amazement. Being her mom is awesome. And exhausting. Exhauwesome?

Over the last few months, I’ve been taking time to do my freelance writing at Thought Catalog: http://thoughtcatalog.com/Stacey-Becker which has been great. I signed an e-book deal with them for a short story memoir which should come out next spring. Stay tuned!  I also had a few interviews for lawyer jobs that fell into my lap through former colleagues and friends. Long story short, I recently made a decision to go back to a full time role as a lawyer. The income is important for Ellie. And because I had the benefit of taking these last 8+ months to really find a company/role that would be a good fit for me, I am going back to a place that will be supportive of my #1 job – being Ellie’s mom. This company is giving me a flexible work arrangement without even knowing me. Already, that makes me like them and want to do good work for them. They get it. I won’t say it’s going to be easy, but knowing that I can have that flexibility sure helps.

It took me a really long time to decide to quit my last job after having Ellie. I was terrified of not being able to find something else. Of running out of our savings. Being on the other side of that decision – I can honestly say that not going back to work was the best decision I ever made. I cherished every single day I had with Ellie. Even the really hard ones, and there were plenty of those. I went from being completely blown away and terrified by this tiny little helpless thing, to beyond smitten with every single detail that she is. I can’t really start to think about how much I will miss her or I may not make it to work this coming Monday. I’ll miss that darling little face, the way she grabs fistfuls of my hair and plays with it, how she snuggles her nose into my neck when she’s tired. How when she wakes up from her morning nap and sees me, she gives me the hugest grin and immediately starts clapping, applauding that she finally feels well rested, perhaps. If I start to think too long about how she lunges forward for the spoon of sweet potatoes that I give her for lunch, how her arms stretch out as wide as they can and shake when she’s excited, it’ll break me. I will miss these things like crazy when I’m at work. Each second of them. They are what I live for.

I will also do the following:

I will go back to work because I have to for now. It’s the best thing for our family.

I will show Ellie that we can be tough when we need to be and that women are strong and powerful.

I will not permanently decide anything in terms of my long term working or stay at home mom plans. I will take it week by week, day by day or even hour by hour if I have to.

I will not label myself as working mom instead of stay-at-home mom as every mom is a working mom. Labels pigeonhole people and I refuse to be categorized as one thing or another for too long. I will not be afraid to make changes to my lifestyle and mom-style if I am not happy.

I will work hard to achieve a great balance between the baby and my work. It may not be possible at times and I will forgive myself if things don’t go as planned.

I will miss Wally (the dog) too and need to find time to give him some extra loving.

I will make time for date night for me and The Husband because he’s gorgeous, I love him and I still laugh every time we’re out together.

I will not forget about The Bachelor, though my posts about the Farmer may not be as timely or long as they used to be.

I will always be Ellie’s mommy. Nobody can replace that. I tell her every day that I made every single part of her, with a little help from The Husband.

I will not cry all day on my first day of work. Repeat. If I cry, it will not be in front of Ellie. I will try not to cry in front of The Husband too often as he doesn’t full grasp the concept of maternal hormones and might commit me if this continues.

Ok, deep breath. I’ll keep you posted on how it all goes. In the meantime, here are some pictures of my latest project:
IMG_6692
IMG_6656 IMG_6554 IMG_7027 IMG_7013 IMG_6992 IMG_6970 IMG_6885 IMG_6884 IMG_6878 IMG_6872 IMG_6754 IMG_6719

StaceyEllie2

Share

Fall With a Fury – The Latest & Greatest

Ellie turned 6 months!

Ellie turned 6 months!

It was 53 degrees when I woke up this morning. A sure sign that fall has arrived. Usually that’s marked by when Starbucks starts serving its Pumpkin Spiced Latte, but it just seemed too hot when that happened. All is going well these days. Here’s what’s happening since Michelle Money’s Bachelor in Paradise ended:

– Ellie turned a whopping SIX months. I have no idea how this happened. She is happy and smiley and so curious about everything. She was doing this head bopping / turning thing that freaked me out at first. I told the doctor about it and she thinks it’s Ellie just being a baby and getting excited about things. We took Ellie to a music class and this happened. Yes, she’s the one bopping her head like a lunatic and NO, I’m not doing this for her.

EllieMusic

– We started solids. Well, first we tried to transition her from the hypoallergenic, $50/can powder formula that we have to special order online (Neocate) back to Similac. But she seems to still have issues with the cow’s milk protein, so we went back to Neocate. Little girl likes the good stuff. We tried to get insurance to cover it, but so far, haven’t been successful. We’ve now done rice cereal, oatmeal, carrots, sweet potato, squash, bananas, peas and green beans. She’s loving everything but the green veggies. The face she makes when we try to shovel it into her mouth is priceless. Kind of like this, “Are you trying to poison me???!”

– I’ve been loving my time at home with Ellie on this extended maternity leave. The days are very tiring, but having her sleep through the night is life-changing. She’s taking about 3 naps a day – anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours. It’s wonderful. I’m sure it won’t last :)

– Ellie is sitting up on her own for the most part. After about 10 minutes, she’ll slump over. She’s nowhere near crawling though and I’d like to keep it this way. Less work for us. Can we staple her diaper to the floor?

As for me, I’m still writing weekly at Thought Catalog. My latest article is here: http://thoughtcatalog.com/stacey-becker/2014/09/20-things-id-tell-my-former-single-self-now-that-im-married/

You can see the rest of my articles here: http://thoughtcatalog.com/stacey-becker/

And now I need to vent a little bit about the baby class / nursery school situation going on in my neighborhood. I’m curious to hear what it’s like in different parts of the country (and world) because I know this can’t be normal. Here it goes:

The Upper East Side (where we live) offers many different types of classes for babies. Yes, babies. And they are pricey (averaging $50 or more per class). The options range from music classes (about 15 to choose from), swimming, sign language, foreign languages, story time and even gym classes where you can work on your baby’s core. There are mom support groups, mommy and me yoga classes, outdoor strollercise classes and prestigious, hard-to-get-into classes requiring that moms call from the hospital to get their baby on the wait list. I’m not kidding. The classes are “feeder” programs for the insanity of private nursery school. The process for getting into one of these schools sounds more complicated than getting into Harvard. These pre schools require essays, interviews (with a 2 year old!), recommendations from people already attending the school and lots of $$$. Average fees for private nursery school are $25,000 a year. Am I in an insane asylum? People are competing with each other to get into these programs and there aren’t even enough applications. So you can’t even apply to get rejected. I have no interest in putting our family through such a crazy process. Which means we’ll be aiming for a much lower brow school if we stay in the city or moving out to the ‘burbs. Not that it’s such a bargain in Westchester or New Jersey. Ughhh.

Anyhow, I need a sanity check as I’m starting to think it’s a bargain to find a $15,000 nursery school. HUH? Does anyone have a winning lottery ticket they can lend me?

Wally’s barking at something. Which means there may be an intruder in our apartment, so I better go check. If we survive whatever’s happening in the living room, I’m taking Ellie apple picking near my parents’ house tomorrow. L’Shana Tova (Happy New Year) to all those who celebrate Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year). I hope it’s filled with lots of love, baby kisses and doggy licks.

More to share at a later time…

PS – Married at First Sight on the FYI channel was AMAZING and has been renewed for a second season. Watch On-Demand. Completely worth it and far better than this last season of The Bachelorette.

More photos

IMG_6183 IMG_6330 IMG_6238

Ellie turned 6 months!

 

Share

Baby Girl’s Away :(

IMG_6160It’s Friday at 11 AM and I hear a baby crying, but it’s not mine. I just packed up Ellie’s bags and sent her off with my parents. The Husband and I have come down with nasty head colds (I got it first and now The Husband’s is kicking in) and before we know it our little 5 month old baby will get it too, so we’re doing everything possible to keep her healthy. I’ve been sanitizing every nook and cranny of this apartment and wiping down things I’ve never wiped down before. I have no idea how any human being takes care of an infant when they are sick. I’ve had this cold since Monday and would like to just cut my head off to feel better. I’ve never had to give a bath, diaper, put creams on, pajamas and then feed a squirming baby while having a slight fever, sore throat, hacking cough and headache. It’s not fun. The Husband has been helping out where possible, but an infant is more than a one person job. You need an army of sorts.

To make matters more complicated, our beloved babysitter who was supposed to come on Monday, texted at 9:15 AM Monday morning that she had a family emergency and would not be coming this week. We haven’t heard from her since and now we’re worried that she may never be coming back. Did she break up with us? Were we dumped?

Ok, need to go strategize on how to get better and do the 1000 errands that I can never get done. I miss my baby girl…

Share

A Big Change, A Big Chance…

Me & My New Boss

Me & My New Boss

And so the day has finally come. I was due back at work today. My maternity leave is officially OVER. As the days wound down and I got closer to returning to my 3+ hour commute to/from a job at a company that’s going through a lot of uncertainty right now – I found myself getting more and more anxious. The thought of being in a different state from my baby and needing to depend on the very unreliable Metro North commuter train back to my baby in case of an emergency made my stomach turn. I pictured dark mornings where I’d be out the door at 6:45 AM and getting home at the usual 6:45 PM or later and not seeing her during the work week.

I couldn’t do it.

I’m not a risk taker. Getting a regular paycheck is a big deal for me. And a 401K because I’d like to retire one day. And health benefits because Lord knows I use them. And this baby seems to be at the doctor every other week with something. But because I’m not a risk taker, I’ve always been a big saver. And because I was working at Lehman Brothers before, during and after the bankruptcy, I’ve learned that even the safest companies can blow up and leave you jobless in the blink of an eye. So I’ve been squirreling away money, when possible, for a rainy day.

Last week, I finally gave my notice. I will not be returning to my legal job. After 12+ years as a lawyer with a steady paycheck, I will be venturing into the unknown. Headfirst into motherhood, freelance writing and whatever comes next. I’ve gone on some interviews for traditional legal jobs and we’ll see if they pan out. I’ve also been so excited about writing for ThoughtCatalog. I’m not ruling anything out – but am just trying to find something sustainable and enjoyable that Ellie can be proud of me for doing one day. And I’d like to be home and PRESENT with her as much as possible. That’s the challenge. Because now that maternity leave is over and there’s no more regular paycheck coming in, I find myself nervously searching LinkedIn for job opportunities and frantically looking for part time childcare to give myself the time to pursue these freelance opportunities. Then Ellie cries like babies do and I find myself getting frustrated with her. It’s not her fault. She needs and deserves attention.

There is no way I could have made this decision without the support of The Husband. You know you’ve married the right guy when he tells you that 1) You deserve to take some time off and figure out something enjoyable to do professionally. It’s worth the financial risk 2) Being stressed every day at an intense legal job is not healthy and he’d rather us have less money and see me be less stressed and 3) He’s got health insurance that Ellie and I can be a part of.

I know how lucky we are to be in a position to choose whether to go back to work or not temporarily. But I also know that I’ve been thinking about this decision about whether to return to work or not since before we had Ellie. It’s an impossible choice as once you’re a mother, you’ve always got a new boss that competes with every single thing you do from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep. I’ve already been battling these competing demands. Do I eat breakfast or do I stop Ellie from crying? Do I shower or should I just get Ellie out for a walk so she can nap? Do I change my pants or do I wear them for the fifth day in row because she’s going to spit up on them anyway? How on earth am I going to find time to write a cover letter for a job when I’m competing with a baby that naps and screams in 10 minute increments? Then the end of the day comes and I’m so tired that writing or looking for jobs seems like a far off ambitious, unattainable goal.

So here goes nothing. I’m officially a Freelance Writer & Mother. Or Mother Writer. I’m no longer disguised as a lawyer – it’s all out there for the world to see. If you find me walking a screaming baby down the street and I’ve got a sports bra on under a tank top and the same running shorts I’ve worn all week because being parenthood seems to be an athletic event these days, worthy of workout clothes – please don’t be grossed out. If you see me on my iPhone as I’m sitting in Starbucks while my baby naps in her stroller, it’s a good day. It’s a work in progress, this new motherhood thing. I’m taking each day as it comes and hope that this decision, this BIG decision which has taken me weeks, no Months…actually YEARS to make – will be the right one for our family down the road.

There’s no job in the world worth doing that keeps me from seeing my Ellie every day. And if I don’t pursue my writing now, when exactly is that going to happen?

Ok, my new project (Ellie) is screaming down the hall, which means it’s just about bath time for the boss. She’ll be 4 months on Thursday and we’re going for more shots and a check up. No idea where this time went, but am so grateful for the chance to put things on hold a bit longer while I search for an agreeable work / life balance. It’s a scary new mommy world out there, but I’m ready to see where it takes me.

Share