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Now that the weather is getting nicer and people are out in droves like they’ve been pinned down in an igloo at the North Pole for the past ten years, can we discuss the frozen yogurt options out there? Who knew that within a few blocks of our apartment there would be dozens of these shops with lines out the door, like they’re handing out gold or selling lotto tickets for a $640 million jackpot? Have you seen a lot of people bombard the local ice cream and yogurt shops in your neighborhoods?
Yesterday, my law school friend, Nyieri, and I went for a nice walk after work with her incredibly well behaved baby. After doing a lap around the Great Lawn in Central Park, we planted ourselves at 16 Handles, one of the frozen yogurt stores that has opened in the last couple of years on the Upper East Side. Have you guys heard of this chain? I had been to the one near New York University downtown before, which is always swarming with college kids, but this one has a more family feeling to it. Lots of carriages and all sorts of neighborhood residents excited to indulge themselves.
16 Handles, for those who haven’t been, is a self-service frozen treat shop that is supposed to offer 16 different flavors at any given time. The idea is, you walk in, choose the size of your cup (small, medium, or obscene), load up with the flavor(s) of your choice and then wait in line for what seems like hours until you get to the toppings bar. At the end of all of this, they weigh your cup and you avoid eye contact with the cash register person who is definitely judging you adding that dollop of chocolate chip cookie dough drops at the last minute. The toppings bar, by the way, is the one of the most overwhelming displays of sweetness known to mankind. It starts out displaying its fruits – berries, lichee nuts, kiwis, pineapple, orange wedges – you name it, it’s probably there. Then it moves into various cut up chocolate and peanut butter products and candy bars. M&Ms, peanut butter cups, Heath bar, chocolate covered sunflower seeds (WTF??), chocolate covered pretzels, sprinkles and chips of all colors, sizes and types and pretty much a dozen more candies that I could not identify. Moving past the chocolate related items, there’s the cereal section. Holy cow. When is the last time you’ve had Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Or Cap’n Crunch? Or Granola with Cinnamon Toast Crunch? And Fruity Pebbles! Who can forget those brightly colored sugary flakes of heaven?
If you haven’t over-indulged at this point (and let’s be honest, I was already at 16 toppings and going strong), you can choose some of their sauces. Chocolate, peanut butter, marshmallow, fudge, cherry, etc. The woman in front of me had four humungous containers of frozen yogurt, which must have taken several hours to obtain since at least 7 of the “Handles” were empty and the remaining ones were running really slowly. This woman made the lady behind the register pour her 7 individual mini plastic capped cups of the sauces “to go.” It was obvious (at least to me) that she was taking this home to sit in front of her TV and gorge herself in the privacy of her apartment while she watched The Voice or something, but come to think about it, if Nyieri wasn’t with me, I’d probably be doing the same thing.
I managed to get about a hand length’s size swab of chocolate frozen yogurt for The Husband, but that was it. The machine was incredibly slow and most likely had been working overtime on the hottest day of the year to date and I could sense the anxious people behind me waiting for their turn. By the time I said my goodbyes to Nyieri and walked home, The Husband’s dessert was a pool of brown liquid melted with colorful M&Ms and Fruity Pebbles. He was, miraculously, still thrilled. This had everything to do with the fact that the Caps had just scored in their playoffs game rather than the actual melted dessert I brought him.
Two hours after dessert was demolished, my stomach began to hurt. Apparently too much sugary crap in place of an actual dinner is not a good idea. Lesson learned.
If I had to do it all over again, I would NOT have opted for Pinkberry, which some people live, breathe and die for. That tart flavor reminds me of cream cheese, and don’t get me started on how much I can’t stand cream cheese. It’s sour and has the consistency of cole slaw, egg salad and really thick, plain Greek yogurt which makes me nauseous just to think about.
There is a neighborhood schmancy gourmet grocery store called Butterfield which has been around since 1915 that serves $15 sandwiches and charges more than Starbucks for coffee. I once had to leave the store after preparing two small sized hazelnut ice coffees because I only had $7 on me after a run and the coffees together cost $8.50. We’re talking about coffee here. Have we really reached the day where $7 can’t cover two cups of coffee? I need to leave Manhattan. Anyhow, despite their outrageous prices, Butterfield happens to have the freshest, most delicious frozen yogurt I have ever tasted. They only have 2 or 3 flavors. It is served with fresh fruit from their store. In the summer months they open a yogurt stand in the store that faces the street and there is always a long line. But it’s quality and non-stomachache inducing.
Aside from that, my other favorites are Emack & Bolio’s, which is the closest thing to a Ben & Jerry’s with about 100 more flavors, and Sedutto, both of which are unbelievably flavorful.
So that’s my fro yo round-up for the evening. I hope you’re all sitting in front of your computers with a big bowl of your favorite ice cream or frozen yogurt at this very minute. Enjoy!
PS, none of the places mentioned above have paid me any money to write about them. Of course they are welcome to, but for now, this is simply an entirely impartial blog post of a New Yorker who had a very long day at work and was amazed at all of the frozen dessert stores in her neighborhood.
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Stacey B says
Testing 123