This week’s episode of The Bachelorette reminded me of why I still love this show. Just when you think you’ve seen every date, every crazy contestant, every, “I’m falling in love” starry eyed pursuer, something happens that changes it up all over again. From the time we learned this group was flying out to New York for the dates this week, we saw several original events unfold. Like the ability to perform in a Broadway show with only a couple of hours practice and the opportunity to nuzzle Ali’s bosom in front of hundreds of Broadway viewers while suspended in mid-air on wires. Or the decision to get a tattoo of a shield and heart to show a girl who is probably going to dump you in the next week or so that you are sincere about “protecting and guarding her heart.” And let’s not forget, we were able to witness two spontaneous live amateur musical performances for Ali, both of which sent me into convulsions of hysterical laughter for several minutes based on how out of place and awkward they were. Man, do I love this show.
I actually left my college sorority reunion so I could watch this week’s show and blog about it. There are not many times in life when I can leave a social function with the excuse of, “Sorry, I have to leave. The Bachelorette is on.” Strangely enough, my friends understood.
My friend Neha commented about Chris L: “I am obsessed. (My boyfriend) is jealous.”
First things first. It was interesting to see the guys on their actual journey to New York. I often think that there is a ton of traveling on this show that is never shown. Especially when the fantasy dates are in places like New Zealand and the Caribbean, etc. It really looks like the guys get along quite well. I would have loved to be on that flight from LA to New York and hear the conversations that took place. I also found it interesting that this was one of the first times in Bachelorette history where we got a glimpse into the behind the scenes “primping” process that takes place before we see the finished Ali product. Ali says she’s most comfortable in sneakers, jeans and a big t-shirt, but she couldn’t get away with that in New York. Ali – take it from a New Yorker – I spent 85% of my weekends in a sports bra, leggings and my running shoes. Real New Yorkers are understated (at least that’s how I justify my sporty look).
Of course, this turned out to be one major plug for In Style magazine. The outfits chosen for her looked great, but in all honesty – nobody in New York would have any closet space to store such things. Although, I’m sure those outfits cost thousands of dollars, so the people wearing the clothes probably would have the space. It was funny that she had to bag most of the outfits and opt for pajamas, due to her cold. Side note: I love how In Style tried to pump Ali up by telling her that she was going to be in the same issue as a “stylish blonde,” and yet she was probably thinking, “Why wasn’t I the stylish blonde on the cover of the damn magazine? Move over Cameron Diaz!” Not sure if she was feigning enthusiasm, or what.
So we’re down to 11 this week, and once again there’s a group date, and 2 individual dates. I was absolutely shocked when we learned that Kasey got an individual date. Certainly she had to have wanted to take someone else. What about Kirk? What about that Chris N guy we know absolutely nothing about? Seriously – does Chris N speak English? Why does she pick him week after week and yet we know nothing at all about him? All we know is that she thought more of him than Jesse, the tall, hot stud who wants to milk cows, sings Lion King songs pretty well and misses his dogs. Was Jesse that much worse than Kasey?? Seriously?? I do have to give credit to Ali for keeping an open mind. I mean clearly she’s got at least four guys she’s definitely into: Roberto, Kirk, Frank and Chris L. She could have easily said – ok, my husband has to be one of those guys, the rest can go home…but she’s taking it all very seriously.
Back to Kasey, though. So he’s never been to New York before. Some of you commented that Kasey may have a hearing problem or speech impediment and I should stop calling him Marblemouth. I have spoken to several of my speech pathologist friends and all of them are of the opinion that he most likely does not have either of these issues – he simply is a mumbler. But, I will take the high road here and not continue to refer to him as Marblemouth or Mumbler. Let’s call him Tattoo Bachelorette guy (thanks to Chris L for the suggestion). He may not have a hearing problem, but he is certainly tone deaf.
One of my favorite lines of the night was Chris L’s take on Kasey’s feelings for Ali:
“I think Kasey closes his eyes, thinks of Ali and thinks of doves flying out behind her…Cupid hitting her with an arrow. Hearts floating around her head. Them in a meadow magically running toward each other with unicorns. I don’t see her as that kind of romanticized love. Not like unicorn love…”
This week’s dates were definitely the most interesting that we have seen (minus Chris L’s, but we didn’t get to see what they were supposed to have done). Having the entire Museum of Natural History to themselves is pretty awesome. Especially when Ali was running away from Kasey through the dinosaur exhibit with matching lanterns. I’m not sure if Ali was attracted to Kasey’s monkey noises or to him scaring the crap out of her near the Tyrannosaurus rex, but I was shocked that she didn’t send him home. In fact, I didn’t know there was an option of indecision on these dates, but she went for it.
Worst line of the night goes to Kasey: “I choose you. I hope that some day you choose me. I’m here to guard and protect your heart. Jump in. Stay a while.”
Just when you thought nothing could top Kasey’s singing, the group date is upon us and watching the guys in spandex on a Broadway stage learning choreography, was pretty cool. Frank is beyond thrilled to be back in the company of his love, but I find it stressful watching him because he is seriously going to have a heart attack from seeing Ali with his competition. Roberto’s cute dimples and sincere singing directly to Ali wins him a role in The Lion King with Ali. The guys are so jealous and spend the rest of the afternoon kicking themselves that they didn’t sing directly to Ali. As Kirk says, Roberto is “Rico Suave.” I like Kirk.
As I was watching Roberto and Ali dressed in Lion King costumes, practicing their act on stage together and putting his head in her cleavage, I couldn’t help but think how completely pissed Hunter must be somewhere watching all of this. These guys get a trip to New York and the chance to be on a Broadway stage. Even psychotic Kasey gets a private tour of one of the greatest museums in the world. Hunter? He gets a couple of burgers and hot dogs and the chance to wear an apron at Ali’s house. Not exactly a fair playing field here.
Watching Roberto with Ali on stage – you can see their connection is really strong. The guys can barely sit in their chairs watching the two of them together. During the nighttime portion of their date, Ali’s cold is picking up speed.
“We’ve got a high pressure system moving in,” says Roberto. He’s pretty funny too.
I loved that Kirk pulled Ali away and insisted that she go to bed. Smart move, Kirk. I also liked that he didn’t try to take advantage of her weakened state while they were alone together. He tucked her in and blew out all of the candles around her. He’s a good guy, this Kirk. I hope we get to see more of him.
And then we get to the part of the show which had me smiling ear to ear: Chris L’s date. It’s the poor guy’s birthday and I really thought his date was going to get canceled. Instead – he gets the opportunity to win the flu from Ali. I just wanted to hug him when he showed up with soup and flowers. What a nice guy! You can almost see the fireworks start flying between these two during their time together. If Ali is feeling like crap and she’s still feeling a connection with this guy, it must be strong. Also, before this one on one date, Chris L was pretty neutral about Ali. He probably just thought she’s a cute girl, but hadn’t had much time with her. I thought we could actually see his interest in her take on a real shape during their date. He might be in it to win it. I think there was a lot of editing going on of their date, because I’m not really clear on how they went from sipping soup on the couch to cuddling in her bed, but it must have taken some intense conversation which we missed.
Once we see him lounging in bed with Ali, something clicks with these two and it’s evident – we finally have a real competitor to Roberto. Chris L has arrived! By the way, 230 Fifth Ave, the club that Ali takes Chris L to, is one of the snobbiest scenes in New York. It’s one of those places where if you’re not a supermodel and don’t have a $1500 handbag, you’re going to get the stink eye. It’s a good thing they had it all to themselves. Once Chris opened up about his mother, I think he had every woman in America and Canada falling for him. I loved that Ali called Chris L’s dad and you can tell Chris has a great relationship with his family, which Ali loves (who wouldn’t love that?). I think we are going to see a lot more rainbows in the episodes to come. I was so happy when he got the rose. Once the Joshua Radin and choir act come on, Ali’s disease miraculously disappears. Chris L goes in for his first real kiss – and it’s passionate! As the Husband pointed out, “If you don’t have the flu by the end of this episode, you’re nobody.”
Meanwhile, back at the loony bin, Kasey is missing. The guys want to put out an Amber alert. The whole “I want to protect and guard Ali’s heart,” is not only getting old – it’s creepy. There are much better ways to prove sincerity than tattooing a shield and a heart on your wrist. I can understand being a bit embarrassed by it, and calling it a burn, so I won’t give him too much crap for lying to the guys about it. It’s probably one of the smarter things he did – until he told them the truth. But making up a crazy story about going to the hospital for a burn, etc. is a bit strange, to say the least. How about rolling down your sleeve so nobody will notice your bandage? My friend Amie had the following to say about him:
Ali needs to get ABC to pay for her bodyguard after the show is over because he is total stalker material. Also I think his voice kind of sounds like Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock.
Final highlight from last night: Weatherman’s last ditch effort to woo Ali with his voice and a guitar. Poor guy. I agree, he’s definitely harmless, but oh so dorky. Another favorite line from Jonathan, “I’m more of a singer/song writer…” Oh really, Jonathan? So he does afterall have Hollywood in his eyes. If only he had the talent! Given, he was slightly better than Kasey, but only because he had a guitar with him. I was cringing during this performance. Ali actually looks intrigued, suprisingly. Even more amazing than his performance is the fact that Weatherman honestly believes his singing/guitar playing has guaranteed him a rose. In fact, he says, that the “skies are clearing. Looks like sun in the forceast.” Not so much. Some of my friends could not control their emotions about Weatherman and Kasey last night. Here’s what they had to say:
My friend Melissa’s husband, Jim, apparently walked in while she watching the show only to witness Jonathan’s serenade and had this to say: “This guy is a tool bag. He’s bad.”
My friend Nyieri, “Weatherman sounds like a d-bag. No?”
My friend Jennifer, “The Weatherman is pretty awful. Tattoo guy too!”
My friend Alana, “All that singing…and the tattoo – insanity!”
Kirk: “We need one more guy to play guitar in the house.”
Watching the guys sit around prior to the rose ceremony, I have a couple of last observations:
1. I still have no idea who Chris N is.
2. Kasey is wasted and I’m not sure why he chose both an orange shirt and tie that matched his skin tone.
3. I was waiting for Justin to tell Ali about Kasey’s tattoo, but I guess nobody spilled the beans on this one.
4. If I hear the phrase, “guard and protect her heart” one more time… Did Ali ever ask Kasey to do this for her?
5. Kasey is smart enough to bring Ali Swedish fish, her favorite candy and smart enough to keep his mouth shut about his tattoo. But crazy cancels out the smart here.
Roses go to Kirk (hooray!), Craig R (ehhh), Chris N (who?), Roberto (of course), Justin (he was really sweaty and shiny last night), Ty (The Husband and I chanted for him to get a rose), and…KASEY???
Jesse didn’t seem to bummed about going home. Why should he? He got all expense paid trips to Vegas and New York, along with amazing seats to Lion King. He certainly has nothing to complain about. He’ll be the biggest stud for acres and acres of farmland in his town when he gets home.
Jonathan’s reaction to his rejection is awesome. He’s surprised. He doesn’t know what he did wrong. Ugh. His facial expressions are priceless. He lived through the storm and hopefully there are calmer seas ahead for him. Definitely not as a singer/song writer, but hopefully some weather station somewhere is desperately in need of him.
Anonymous says
I didn't read your post yet, but I just thought of this! The dates for this week were obviously shown out of order. Before Chris goes on his date with Ali he asks Kasey what happened last night on his date when the previous night showed the group date. And then at the rose ceremony Ali thanked Kirk for putting her to bed the night before. But then the day after her group date was the day she was so sick and Chris came over? Did anyone else notice this or was I just confused?
Lauren says
You are so funny! Haha.
Although there definitely are a few crazies this season, I am having trouble picking a favorite.
I LOVE Chris L. So cute and funny!!! And so sweet!
I also really like Frank, Roberto and Kirk.
Kasey is just absolutely insane. At least out of the weatherman and Kasey, we got rid of one! Lol.
Also, did you know that on abc.com, in addition to putting up the full episodes they have full episodes with commentary. The episode plays while the commentary appears in text, on the side. The first episode the commentary was by Ali. This weeks was by Gia from last season and the one before that was Jake and Vienna! Hahaha. I'm not sure who the second episode was, I just think this is funny that these people are not on the show anymore but they have to watch and type in their comments on Ali's season. Do they really want to do this?
Valerie says
Kasey is creepy! He just acts like he has to try too hard.
I agree about Chris N. Every week I see him and think "who is that?"
irishgalinabq says
The singing was the absolute worst last night-no doubt. My husband now says "I want to guard and protect your heart" to me now with an added eyeroll. I felt sorry for the guys that they didn't get to see the Lion King live though.
Heidi says
Okay even though I like Roberto, I do not think he will be standing in the end.Do you think he's the guy who has the girlfriend?
Something tells me it has not been an accident the Chris N has had no air time. I do watch and think what's up with him and I think it's quite odd we know nothing about him. Is he shy, really quiet, or what? We don't even see any interaction with him and the other guys, it's weird.
Boy was the weatherman emotional over getting the boot. Him and Ali were just so different. There was no chemistry between them.
Was Ali laughing when Kasey sang to Ali in the museum?
Felt bad Jessie left but they are from two different worlds. His dogs must have been so excited to see him!
Anonymous says
Come on! I think this season with Ali is just
terrible. She isn't going to pick anyone because she wants to model or be in the spot light. Can't you see her modeling all those outfits and being in the magazine and she is just in her glory. No other bachelorette or bachelor was ever shown picking out outfits to wear. Its all about Ali this time.
heavenisabookstore says
Kasey has intensity. I think that is why he is coming across so creepy. He will either meet a girl who likes and needs that intensity or he will have to ditch it to date. But I absolutely die laughing each time he is with Ali bc her expressions are priceless. I didn't see any of the romance in her with him, but maybe it was worse of two evils to keep him. Roberto I like, but I don't see a complete love connection. Chris L is my fav! Kirk I like, but not seeing them together. I'd pin it down to Roberto and Chris L. I don't get her other choices, but editing is everything. Though has she kissed these other guys bc it doesn't show her spending much quality time with them either??
Anonymous says
So how did Rated R know Kasey's story was bogus? I'm betting he was tipped off by ABC to kick up the drama a notch. Thoughts?
Beth says
A few things … everytime Kasey sang I literally had my hands over my face. Like a horror movie. I was embarrassed for him (and me for sitting there watching this train wreck)
I think it was Frank, not the Weatherman, who pulled Ali away before Kasey got to show her his tattoo. (and why on the wrist??? when he gets it lasered off, people will still see it). I agree the only reason he is still here is that he didn't show it.
The Weatherman reminded me of Tom Cruise. Not in a good way.
Isn't it Frank who goes back to his girlfriend? I can't watch without thinking what a great actor he is if that turns out to be true. Or maybe the pain just becomes too much so he goes back for the safe thing.
I dont think there are a lot of real contenders. It's gotta be Roberto or Chris L. I'd much prefer to be single for life than end up with any of the others.
Thanks Stacey for another great wrap-up!
Julie C says
I have to give Ali all the credit in the world for not busting out into laughter during Kasey and the Weatherman's pitiful attempts to sing.
I'm laughing as I write this because the songs by both just seemed so bizarre and out of place. It wasn't their gimmick at all initally, and now all of the sudden they break out the tunes? Ahahaha – too funny!
Kasey's ability to make up his rhymes on the spot were pretty hilarious too, but who the heck rhymes "Joe" with "rose"?
Again, I can't stop laughing – that was the best show in Bach history, I think!
Anonymous says
Best Episode Ever
I've never commented on this show yet, but I loved this episode! I think Roberto and Chris L are great, and if they are the final two I don't know who I'd rather have win. I'll miss Jonathan. Totally not right for Ali but definitely entertaining. Can't wait to see the rest of the tattoo story.
backchat says
Kasey's nasal voice is driving me as nuts as his poor singing! I love the suggestion of getting him together with Michelle from last season. And could we not make a drinking game with his guard and protect your heart statements? LOL!
I can't believe that Roberto and Ali got their own bow at the LK- were here parents in the crowd to see her Broadway debut? They were looking pretty hot though both were shaking with nerves.
Poor weatherman. He doesn't sing to Ali at the rehearsal, he doesn't get a tat. He can't believe he didn't get a rose. Boo-hoo. I sure hope he learns his lesson and doesn't try to seranade his next date!
Still rooting for Chris L. or Roberto in the end. People magazine had an article about how both Frank and Rated R had old girlfriends waiting in the wings- so I don't think they will last much longer than Kasey.
What is up with the Randy Mantooth look-alike that we know nothing about? I noticed he winked at Ali when she gave him the rose. Maybe he is a "spy" planted by the proucers? Ah, the mystery!
Can't wait for the Iceland episode. Wonder if we will get to see the guys flirting on the plane with the hot Iclandic flight attendants? I traveled to "Island", as the local call it, last year and I am looking forward to the scenes in downtown Reykjavik and at the Blue Lagoon Spa. Will Ali seductively eat one of the famous hot dogs?
Stacey B says
Anon @ 5:22 – you don't have to miss Jonathan for long – he will be on The Bachelor Pad starting August 9th. INSANITY!
Kimme says
As always just love your recap. Like everyone else on the planet I couldn't help laughing at the lame singing and was wondering what the guys' families were thinking while watching the train wreck. Good Lord!
I believe Kasey is probably very sincere in all he says and does but he really needs to dial it back a bit. It's just way too much! And I seem to remember Ali actually laughing when he broke out with his first song. He didn't seem to notice how uncomfortable she was so that's another thing to add to his list – learn to read body language and facial expressions. Poor Dude. And please stop saying the guard your heart thing! He's created a cheezy catch phrase though 🙂
My top two guys are Roberto and Chris L. I can see the chemistry Roberto and Ali have – she's been crazy about him since he stepped out of the limo the first night. Maybe he's just a bit too 'Rico Suave' for me but I do hope he's sincere. Chris L. is great and like you Stacey, I'll admit to having a crush on him. I just wonder if Ali feels as strongly for him as she does for Mr. Rico 🙂
Anonymous says
You're blog is spot on the money! I really enjoy reading it every week!
jayayceeblog says
She should have sent both the Weatherman and Kasey the Nutjob home and kept Jesse for at least another week. I've been a Roberto fan since day one. Seeing the behind the scenes wardrobe stuff was fun!
Tracy says
As Jimmy Kimmel put it, 4 episodes and 64 "amazing"s!
Everything Kasey says is a cliche (Ali is "imaginary"?), he can't sing, has no sense of timing, seems very immature, and probably isn't too bright, either. There was no chemistry between them at all. I think the only reason he's still around is that Weatherman is a bit creepy, too, and Jesse just wasn't the right match for her.
Kasey isn't "literally wearing his heart on his sleeve"–it's on his wrist! If you're going to use a word like "literally," it's best to use it correctly.
Chris L.'s unicorn speech was the best part of the night, definitely! Real relationships are more full of putting somebody sick to bed and getting them soup than serenades and helicopters. But I'm sorry Chris didn't get to hang out with Ali in New York; it would have been fun for him to show her where he lived and liked to hang out.
JeniLee says
Just had to tell you…..when you do the casting calls for this show you dont know who the person is….they are probably doing casting right now and the new bachelor isnt picked yet. So when people say they "came here for Ali/Jake/etc" they really had NO clue who they were coming for.