The Bachelor French Kisses & Ditches in Paris

 ABC footage from The Washington Post’s article of Bachelor’s Bekah Martinez not looking the least bit concerned that she’s actually missing.

Love is in the air. There were just enough surprises in tonight’s episode of The Bachelor. Buh bye, Krystal – did we miss a scene where she comes back and scolds Arie? I could have sworn there was preview footage of her telling Arie he needed to apologize for something. Was I having Krystal delusions? Also, the Jacqueline connection took me by complete surprise. I never thought of Jacqueline much before this episode but Arie is very into her. I was sure that either she or Jenna would be on the two on one with Krystal. I guess Arie knew that Jenna was going home either way.

Also, why won’t Lauren B just come on out of her shell? Come on – it was like pulling teeth. But you know Arie has to be into her if he stuck it out with her on what must have felt like an awkward date where he was working very hard. Compare their conversation to the Bekah or Tia energy where those two ladies are so conversational and easy to talk to. It’s night and day. And yet Arie loves a good challenge especially when a trophy wife who is blonde and kind of looks like Lauren Bushnell and Emily Maynard and is soft spoken and a bit damsel in distress. Lauren B has the exact mix of everything Arie is looking for in a future Mrs. Arie.

So the long boat where the girls stayed looked pretty cool, but does the boat move around all day and night and did any of them sea sick? I would have been green the whole time. Ugh.

Here are some of my thoughts on tonight’s episode:

  1. Lauren B is an absolute Barbie doll. Even down to the silence. Her “wow’s” were sincere but I likened it to a date that Rachel the Bachelorette had with good looking Will last season. Will was thrilled beyond belief to be walking around a new foreign city with Rachel but couldn’t express himself or show affection and so Rachel likened that to disinterest. I’m glad that Arie did get to the bottom of Lauren B’s hesitation and potentially perceived “coldness.” He’s obviously interested in her enough to work through her determination to friend zone people for at least 6 months. Because we obviously don’t get 6 months to put Arie in the penalty box. I’m not sure what that end of the episode, post-rose ceremony footage of Lauren B talking offline to a producer was all about. So she’s not excited to go to Tuscany? She’s opposed to free trips to exotic foreign countries to go wine tasting with a love interest? She’s nervous that Arie will reject her? Or it’s just too hard to watch him with other girls and she’s scared of getting hurt again? Come on, Lauren B, suck it up – why are you on this show. We really need you to “let your guard down” – like NOW. I want to just give her a big pep talk because she’s got the skills to win this thing if she just would break out into a little personality.
  2. Even though the French roll their eyes at another Moulin Rouge reference in American culture, I loved the group date. That part of Paris is actually incredibly beautiful and the PERFECT place for The Bachelor to film. You can tell that even though Seinne thought she had this date in the bag, it was actually Bekah’s dramatic / dress-up affinity that led her to pull out the group date rose and the chance to perform in the show with Arie. She was made for this. I still can’t get past her childish 22 year old self and wonder how on earth Arie thinks she could possibly be ready for marriage.
  3. Did you also know that Bekah was missing? My mother in law’s dear friend and neighbor contacted me to see if I had heard about the missing Bekah scandal. Have you guys? This is completely absurd and made big headlines this past week. Thank you, Aunt Linda, for reaching out!! In a nutshell, Bekah’s mother reported her daughter missing after not being able to get in touch for a few days. During their last conversation, Bekah told her she was going to work on a pot farm or something like that (no joke). So then I guess she went on The Bachelor because she tweeted out a message like, “Mom, I told you cell phones were banned on The Bachelor” or something like that. To me, this sounds like Bekah is literally a child with a bedtime. Did she runaway from home to be on the show? Might she actually be 16 or 17 and pulling the wool over everybody’s eyes? Clearly the girl is a bit unsettled at this point in her life. Will she just go off and settle down with Arie and his cardigan sweaters and turn in for bed after she puts their 3 babies to bed?
  4. Poor Tia never seems up for the group date challenges. But I didn’t understand why she thought she wasn’t sexy. She’s totally sexy. Tia – if you’re reading this, you’re sexy. I mean, come on, Girl – if you’re not sexy, the rest of us have no hope. I loved how she tried to clear her red lipstick off of Arie after she made out with him. He’s into her thankfully because she’s got spunk and looks.

Big questions I have after tonight’s episode:

  1. Why no dramatic exit with Chelsea? Chelsea was a front runner for the first two weeks and then suddenly she just fades into the background? No big speeches from Arie. What was he thinking? Because he was very attracted to her at the beginning. We didn’t hear him at least explain that he didn’t want to keep her a minute longer than he had to because she’s a mom. But what changed exactly?
  2. KRYSTAL’s goodbye. Arie didn’t get to walk her out. Just dumped her and left her to sit with that horrendous fake smile. We were all waiting for the nuclear meltdown that never quite came.
  3. Is anyone more gracious than Kendall on their two on one? Even after she finds out that Krystal’s been bad mouthing her to Arie and planting seeds of doubt into his head about her emotional readiness to settle down – Kendall shows her more grace than Krystal’s probably ever had in her life. Kendall still tells her she’s got so much beauty, sympathizes with what horrible, heavy stuff Krystal has had to deal with her whole life and encourages her to “let it go” a little bit, Elsa style. Instead of appreciating this grace, Krystal takes the time to point out to Kendall later on that her speech was patronizing (even though they have a lot in common) and that she shouldn’t be doling out the life advice.
  4. Poor Krystal. She will never realize that she’s her own worst enemy. I am so glad we don’t have to see anymore of her phoniness nor hear her baby voice. Even watching Arie kiss her and be affectionate to her was like nails on a blackboard. Good riddance. I do feel sorry for Krystal because she’s got some really big emotional challenges to overcome before she can seem human again, but she had to go. I just wonder why the exit wasn’t made more of a big deal and if this is really the end. Or might she come back for one last attempt at Arie. In any event, there’s no way she’s not coming back for Bachelor in Paradise, so I’m sure we’ll see her there.
  5. Jacqueline’s date – another potential pretty woman date. I don’t think Jacqueline gets an opportunity to date men like Arie very much. What on earth is Arie thinking by keeping her around when she’s got a 6 year doctorate degree to complete. Are they going to date during this time? Will she go to school in Scottsdale? Will he leave Scottsdale to move to whatever school she’s studying at and what the heck will he do while she’s studying? It’s a waste. I mean with Chelsea – she was ready to settle down NOW. And he was attracted to her. Again, not sure what happened there. I never saw Jacqueline as a contender but good for her. She’s living her best life. By the end of their black dress fantasy date, she seemed a bit tipsy – almost like a girl going on a dream date who threw a few back to take the edge off and was just going with the notion that this incredibly cute guy was just as into her as she was into him.
  6.  Watching Arie kiss all of the girls back to back was kind of gross. Especially the Seinne tongue kissing. Did we really need to see that? And can she taste the other girls’ lip stick when she does that? Can he actually feel sincere about each girl when he’s going from tongue to tongue like that? Gross.
  7. Why haven’t we seen any of these ladies showing up in Arie’s suite after hours? I feel like Bekah would do that. Like scale the wall of his hotel with her rock climbing skills and hang from one of his chandeliers. I could definitely see Krystal doing that. I wonder if Arie’s mother is sad that Krystal went home.

Brief description for each of the remaining girls:

  • Becca: Pretty, down to earth and friend zone in training
  • Bekah: Child spirit
  • Jacqueline: Bad timing, also friend zone to be
  • Lauren B: The One, if she speaks up more
  • Tia: Next Bachelorette
  • Seinne: Miss America, Renaissance Woman
  • Kendall: Hippie Creative Taxidermist

 

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Comments

  1. To address the comment/question you wrote, “Buh bye, Krystal – did we miss a scene where she comes back and scolds Arie? I could have sworn there was preview footage of her telling Arie he needed to apologize for something. Was I having Krystal delusions?”…
    Yes, this did happen. There was a preview which made it LOOK like she was telling Arie HE needed to apologize for something. But when this part of the conversation really happened (which occurred after the maze portion was done, and the ladies were sitting down in front of the “chateau”, and he took Krystal first for a chat on a bench), Arie said that he wasn’t punishing her but he had a lot of questions about her after last week. He said that he had told her that if she ever had anything that bothered her, she should come find him to talk about it, but that instead she talked to the other girls and put his character into question. She responded with typical Krystal blather, that she feels like this was supposed to happen because challenges happen in life, and what matters is, are we able to come to the other person’s side and “are we able to say I’m sorry and move forward”. That part in quotes is what she actually said, but I think that what we saw in the previews only included the “say I’m sorry and move forward”, so we all concluded that she was asking Arie to do that.

  2. I actually enjoyed this episode for the most part. Lots going on. BUT… more of his signature move – pushing Krystal’s hair behind her ear. Euuu… I had to fast forward through his kissing scene’s… Euuuu. I guess I’m ready for Bachelor in Paradise!

  3. Ding dong the Witch is dead
    Which ol’ witch
    the Wicked Witch
    Ding dong the wicked witch is dead…..

    This is what went through my mind when he finally kicked Krystal to the curb. Buh bye!!

  4. BCIslandGal says:

    I was so worried he was going to keep Krystal over Kendall. Thankfully he finally woke up. I wonder if Krystal will watch this season and gain some insight into how she is perceived.
    I would love to see either Tia or Kendall as next Bachelorette.
    I think Arie and Lauren are perfect for each other. It could be perfectly boring match made in Bach heaven.

  5. Susan Curry says:

    I’m running for office on a platform of no bronzer for men. Do I have your vote?

  6. Hi Stace,
    I find Lauren B. quite dull – my husband described her as hollow. Maybe we’re just not seeing everything, and I’m guessing there was some heavy editing. If it takes her six months to open up, yikes…I don’t know if Arie has the patience for that. The footage of her at the end of the episode was really odd, I don’t think we have really seen that side of her yet?

    I like Jacqueline – she was definitely tipsy during the date, but it was cute. I’m glad they actually talked about real life issues.

    I can’t stand watching him kiss any of the girls, it’s like he consumes their heads with his mouth and hands, ick!

    Byyyeeeeeeeee Krystal. Your lack of self-awareness is exhausting. I’m not convinced about his connection with Kendall. Obviously she’s way more appealing when put next to Krystal.

  7. I also was thinking of Rachel’s date with Will during Arie’s less-than-exciting back and forth with Lauren while exploring Paris. One thing I noticed though was that Arie shared more about himself than I had heard (not sure how much was editing), as he recounted his story of his pregnant girlfriend who told dumped him after her miscarriage. Maybe Lauren’s silence enables Arie to speak up more?
    While taxidermy isn’t my thing, I really like Kendall. I think she’s smart, eloquent, gorgeous, and compassionate. She was a perfect choice for the 2 on 1 date, as she possesses a unique ability to stay above the fray. As soon as Krystal told Arie that Kendall doesn’t have enough experience, It seemed Krystal had just torpedoed herself. When Kendall is with Arie, she is able to keep the focus on the two of them. Focusing on other girls seems like a surefire way to get sent home more quickly, no matter who the bachelor is.

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