Week 2: Wrestling Their Way to Arie the Bachelor’s Heart

Do you know what it's like to bake cupcakes when you're on day 1 of a carb / sugar free diet? It's more torturous than watching Annaleise try to build a connection with Arie.

Do you know what it’s like to bake cupcakes when you’re on day 1 of a carb / sugar free diet? It’s more torturous than watching Annaleise try to build a connection with Arie.

This has been the longest MLK weekend of all time. I actually have no idea what we did yesterday. Life with a 3 year old is about living in the moment. I do know that just today, I have done the following:

  • Played Candyland 3x
  • Taught Ellie how to play the card game “Go Fish”
  • Made scrambled eggs for everyone
  • Made protein pasta & banilla yogurt for Ellie’s lunch
  • Sat with her while she ate chicken nuggets and green beans for dinner
  • Arranged an impromptu playdate with the triplets in our building
  • Got a cavity filled in one of my wisdom teeth at the dentist (OUCH!)
  • Went to Lord & Taylor to meet catch up with my first cousin who moved to NYC this weekend!
  • Had a catch with Ellie in our living room
  • Gave Ellie a bath, cut her nails, brushed her hair
  • Cleaned and labeled her new water bottle
  • Fought Ellie for the 12 times she came out of her room at bedtime
  • Walked our dog outside in 20 something degree weather
  • Started a new boot camp workout / diet for the next 6 weeks. 25 online workout followed by 45 minutes at the gym
  • Colored a coloring book
  • Sang “Castle on a Cloud” from Les Miserables to put Ellie to bed
  • Have not had carbs or sugar in 24 hours and am going out of my mind.

I’m sick of bullets. How was your MLK weekend? Is everyone ready to go back to real life tomorrow? I sure am.

I think what also rubbed me the wrong way about Arie (speaking of rubbing, did TWO girls mount him this episode?? Bekah the Nanny and Blonde Jenna off the charts nuts girl in the white dress?) is that he kept taking girls to his little “spot” with the telescope and bed. Except that wasn’t HIS spot, but rather Bibiana’s. Boo on him and gave me a bit of a gross out feeling about him. Is he kind of a douche? Or did the producers set him up? Or does he really think he’s being that smooth? Either way, he had to feel like kind of an idiot when he saw tonight’s episode or when he learned of why that set up was there (they never showed Bibiana filling him in so I wonder if he ever found out?).

The Dates

Both group dates were pretty dumb tonight. The retired GLOW professionals were pretty rough on the girls. Yes, I know it’s all for entertainment but the brunette was really rude to make fun of Bibiana’s name / mother and to bully Tia. Should this have brought them to tears? Probably not. But still, they’re trying to impress Arie and they have these women in their faces insulting them while teaching them how to wrestle. Not the most inspiring or compassionate scenario. You know Bekah loves any opportunity to be a seductive actress and Krystal probably took the naughty tiger or kitten outfit home with her. Speaking of outfits – do you know that Arie personally bought all of those Rachel Zoe dresses for other Becca last week?? I couldn’t believe it either.

Best part was watching Kenny the Wrestler just slam Arie around a few times.

The dog date looked promising, but they probably should have just stuck to puppies as at least if the puppies didn’t follow direction, they’d still be absolutely adorable. Also, they seemed to only focus on Chelsea’s red dress. Did Chris Harrison have hug slash marks on his neck or was that just a bad camera angle?

Napa Valley Disaster Date

Poor Lauren S. She seemed so giddy, elated and positive to go on the one on one date. The Husband was impressed that she could fit all her lower teeth into one big smile. He also loved that she was wearing sneakers with a dress. I was impressed that her dress didn’t ride up in the breeze, but maybe it was a cute little romper number?

Watching Lauren S try to complete a sentence or thought that made any sense was literally painful. You’d think the wine would calm her down but maybe it just made her mind wander. Some women are just not comfortable being themselves on camera.  And others are exactly themselves and that is the actual problem. I think Lauren S. falls somewhere in between. She is self aware enough to admit that she was “all over the place” and yet can’t help but crash and burn on her Arie date. There’s so much pressure on getting the chemistry right immediately – she just couldn’t handle it. I feel bad because she seems to understand that she messed the date up herself. But I just wonder who the real Lauren S is.  Arie did have a funny line about gradually wearing more cardigans. That definitely makes him ready to settle down with the right blonde (eye roll).

HUNGRY

So now that I have given up for sugar, I want to point out those giant vats of candy that exist in the Bachelor mansion. Did anyone else see them? I saw Skittles, Twizzlers and maybe M&Ms? All brightly assorted and ready to be eaten in giant glass display jars.

Some of my favorite moments from tonight:

  • Bekah telling Arie that she “doesn’t need him” and also that maybe the reason he dates moms is that he has a need to be needed and depended on. I love that she’s armchair psychiatrist to him and he listens. She’s got a strange elfish power over him. I still think she’s about 17-18 years old and has gotten into his head. I was also desperately praying that while she was mounting him in full on kiss mode, Krystal would walk in on them with her perma-smile and say, “Enjoyyyyy”
  • Watching all the editing with Lauren B. She is clearly the most Emily Maynard like – beautiful, blonde, elegant and subdued to some extent. She’s only 25 years old which is kind of ridiculous. We barely have seen Arie and Lauren B together and yet by the rose ceremony, they were climbing into the Bibiana Telescope sex den all over each other. Are they trying to hide the sparks?
  • The Tia connection. Tia just seems like a wholesome, down to earth girl with heart. I’m glad Arie has noticed and is interested in her, but I fear he might break her adorable Southern heart. She seems way over her head and he seems to be living a sophisticated, fast paced life style. I’m not sure they’re long term compatible. Though I liked them drinking moonshine together.
  • Annaleise going home – though I wish she would have left before that final, awkward confrontation with Arie. She’s clearly picked up on the “he’s just not that into you” vibe but is still sticking around hoping things can turn around. She knows he’s made out with other girls and feels his body language has changed. Why stay? I’d be packing up my stuff and storming out. If he’s not giving her the time of day, why should she stick around to get officially rejected? He gave her more time & eye contact after ending things by walking her to the car than he did the whole time they ever talked.  Also, those vignettes of staged childhood fears were ridiculous. Is she really over the top with her childhood fears or are they legit? Who knows? Glad that’s over.
  • Caroline the intuitive brunette realtor who finds Krystal’s behavior condescending. Krystal was sitting there like the Dalai Lama dolling out advice on how to take advantage of time with Arie? And all with a plastic smile on her face? And while believing all the while that nobody has the same kind of connection that she does? I can’t even imagine what she’ll do when she gets rejected on this show or sees him kissing someone else. Will she try to join them? Burst into flames? Coach them?

Top contenders at this point:

  • Lauren B
  • Seinne (she just seems so intellectually on another playing field than most of these girls)
  • Becca (Pretty Woman date); Loved that she called him a dork. He is a dork.
  • Bekah (Nanny)
  • Krystal (as irritating as she’s become, she’s still on top of Arie’s mind for some reason)
  • Chelsea – just because Arie likes a girl who will interrupt him to plant one on him and she’s still somewhat mysterious to him.

I personally love Tia, but I think they’re not gonna last :(

I’ve got no carbs to burn in order to keep typing, so I’ll end here. What do you all think? Husband is shutting lights off on me. Must be time to go. Til next time, Bachelor Fans.

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Comments

  1. I don’t think the GLOW trainers were tough at all. Did you ever see what Jerry Lawler did to Andy Kaufman? Wrasslin’ isn’t for crybabies!

    • Yeah – I guess you got to be a GLOW fan to understand that this was just theater. The average age of these girls is about 26, so I don’t think they had that history and just saw two women screaming in their faces for no apparent reason. OH well.

  2. SusieQfromPhilly says:

    Well, my husband announced that this was the worst Bachelor episode EVER. We fast forwarded through all of the wrestling portion as it made no sense to us to see anything related to physical abuse.

    Other than Krystal, it seems that many of the women are quite lovely, being steady on their emotional feet. I expected that Bibiana would stay around to continue to be the narrator of the season. I will miss her as I thought she had an interesting background that I wanted to learn more about.

    The Winter Bachelor coming attractions look very silly to me, but, that said, we will be watching!

    Again, Stacey, thank you for your thoughts on this show and your dedication to contacting with us!

    • Yeah – I guess you got to be a GLOW fan to understand that this was just theater. The average age of these girls is about 26, so I don’t think they had that history and just saw two women screaming in their faces for no apparent reason. OH well.

    • Susie Q – sorry, not sure why my comment is repeated twice. Your husband is right. It was a pretty bad. Not to fear – Bibiana will be on the Winter Games!! Woo hooooo

  3. I got a good chuckle out of the Bekah ‘elfish power’. You are spot on! Curious with the previews next week if she actually reveals that she is 21….Love the blog – thanks for posting!

  4. Hey Stace,
    For some reason I didn’t like Arie in this episode. He seemed to be kind of phoning it in for some parts. I too cringed when Lauren S. was nattering and talking about how amazing her life is. Arie was definitely giving her body language signals and seemed to be pretty turned off. I think Bibiana and Tia overreacted (although calling out Bibiana’s name wasn’t great) and were probably hoping to get extra attention from Arie because of it. I watch Krystal through my hands, she is so over the top and fake. He is so into Bekah, but I really do think she is too young for him. He was talking about going to bed early with Lauren S., somehow I don’t think Bekah calls it a night at 9 PM (although that sounds absolutely amazing!)

    Warmly,
    Mia

    • MIa – LOL yes, watching Krystal through a hand was the best way to watch her. She was out of control and has no self awareness. It’s like watching a robot at times. An evil robot.

  5. janincolorado says:

    I would LOVE to know your thoughts (and commenters thoughts) on Krystal’s offered comments on how she’s been basically subjected to jealousy from her female peers since 8th grade; her “best” friend did not like her near her “boyfriend”… …. WHO / WHAT ADULT even refers to ANY event in 8th grade as meaningful to their adult interactions??? Middle School social life is NOT reality for the future (or is it for Krystal???)-

  6. Theemoonthatpulls says:

    Hi Stacey! Long time reader, first time commentator! After reading all the bach contestant bios on ABC, I was looking forward to getting to know Annaleise the most! I’m disappointed that she didn’t make it further. She reminded me of a childhood friend that would leave almost every slumber party early due to anxiety over missing her parents. Having said that, the vignettes were hilarious because she’s 32 and I can’t believe these issues still bring her to tears because they are RIDICULOUS! My childhood friend (who was actually mauled by a pit bull) eventually got over her separation anxiety and is now a world traveler. Anyway, hope to see Annaleise in Paradise 😉
    My list of girls for Arie at the moment are Chelsea, Bekah and Krystal but I’m not totally convinced he’ll end up with any of these ladies. I’m praying for a “dark horse” like Catherine from Sean Lowe’s season.

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