Start Your Engines: Arie the Bachelor Revs up Adrenaline on Week 1

Hello, Ellie.

Hello, Ellie.

Hello, Bachelor Family. We’re back again for week 1 of Bachelor and it’s shaping up to be a somewhat worthwhile season with some intriguing tidbits: intelligent women, Pretty Woman like dates and drama of course (and not just stirred by Chelsea!). So first off, some Bachelor news:

  1. Set your DVRs & mark your calendars because February 13th, 8 PM EST, The Bachelor Winter Games begins! Good thing because just one Bachelor show a week wasn’t cutting it so thankfully they’re adding a second on Tuesday nights. It’s going to be 4 episodes and the cast is comprised of not just former Bachelor contestants that we all know and love (BEN HIGGINS ANYONE???) but they’re throwing in international contestants from the Bachelor seasons that have taken place internationally. This should definitely expand our horizons to mind blowing degrees. Like what happens when Ashley I (wanna be Princess Jasmine / famous for crying over Jared / having a crazy sister / crying over Jared again / having a podcast with Ben Higgins) loses her shizz over the Canadian / Australian contestants? Get the popcorn out. Other cast members include Dean Unglert (the most hated guy after playing Russian beauty Kristina against D Lo.), Luke from JoJo’s season and Clare (who I think is 34 now and still hasn’t recovered from her Juan Pablo distress)? In any event, it’ll be entertaining and will coincide with the actual Olympics, so that should be fun.
  2. Was anyone able to hear our podcast? Apologies for those who attempted to listen from your devices instead of a desktop computer. We’ll try to make it more user friendly if I get my IT department to figure it out (note: The Husband IS my IT department).
  3. It is so freaking cold outside that I have had little desire to do anything or go anywhere. That said, I’ve taken 3 epic journeys this weekend, one of which has scarred me almost as much as bumper cars scarred Annaleise:
    1. The Husband & I took Ellie to see Frozen on Ice. It was a 90 minute train ride on Metro North to Bridgeport, Connecticut because it wasn’t playing in NYC. It was -11 degrees in Bridgeport with windchill. I told Ellie this was all caused by Elsa but that was only cute for like 30 seconds and then we almost died from frostbite. The show was amazing, but the the venue was FREEZING. Both The Husband & Ellie (both of whom are living furnaces) wanted their coats the entire performance. The show was fantastic. Ellie shushed me a bunch of times when I started singing though. Oh well.
    2. En route home from the show, we took a couple subways once back in NYC. Well, we ended up stuck between two stations underground, with no cell service for close to 45 minutes. Do you know what it’s like being in a crowded NYC subway car when you’ve already been traveling close to 2 hours and you’ve got a 3 year old who has a LOT of questions and a LOT of singing to do since she just came from Frozen on Ice and there’s no way out? They claim it was track fire ahead of us and the NY Fire Department was on their way. I’m not sure this was very comforting. But in any event, after what seemed like an eternity and being on the verge of an absolute panic attack, the train started moving…backwards. It took FOUR hours to get home from the show that lasted under 2 hours.
    3. We saw Ferdinand yesterday – an absolutely adorable animated tale of a bull that doesn’t want to fight. Go see it. Take everyone. But bring your own popcorn because in cold weather everyone and their mother is going to that movie so expect mile long lines for food and don’t forget the baggies that are used with your toddler’s port-a-potty because it’s pointless to be carrying a port-a-potty in your purse when you can’t actually use it. STUPID. Ellie was VERY happy about this circumstance as you can imagine since she refuses to use public restrooms. SERENITY NOW??

Ok, Arie.

So date one and we’re already throwing dresses and diamonds and shoes at someone. I wasn’t into this date. Maybe it was just me, but it’s so early in the season that Arie should be taking these women somewhere to have an actual conversation. What exactly are they learning about each other by him gifting her these extravagant things? I’m sure that I’m in the minority, but if I stepped into a room with Rachel Zoe, I’d think she was a country singer. Yes, I’ve heard of her name and that she’s a designer, but I’d rather be spending the time chatting with my love interest, not being whisked away by a fancy dress designer to become Cinderella. TOO EARLY. Yes, Becca seems super down to earth, but there seemed to be no real sparks between them. Although they are both into each other’s eyes. As for those Louis Vuitton shoes [UPDATE: yes, they were really Louis Vuitton – not Laboutin heels] – again, I’m not the right audience. I’d spend about 30 seconds walking in those shoes and break my neck. I was wondering if she would sell them or lend them out to her friends in the house. Or maybe give them to Krystal to sell… but more on that later.

Throwing Cinderella dates on THE first date, just seemed a bit over the top for me. Very materialistic – and what’s Arie’s role in all of this? He’s clearly not paying for this, so he gets to just throw random expensive stuff at this total stranger and watch her reaction. I felt awkward. It didn’t seem very real or like a bonding experience. The only thing it probably did was make the other girls jealous.

I DID love the fact that week one included two one on one dates. Perhaps the producers are focused on getting Arie the QT he needs with the girls right up front – may bode better for a successful connection at the end of the show. There did seem to be a lot of girls that didn’t get any date with Arie (the two blonde Laurens stand out).

Then there was the Demolition Derby which I’m talking about out of order because we’ve got to save the hometown visit for last. Here were my favorite parts:

  • Anything Tia said. She’s got a JoJo quality about her and is very likable besides being adorable. Everything she said this episode made me laugh.
  • Annaleise is reminding me of Jason Mesnick’s wife and former Bach contestant, Molly Mesnick. Though Annaleise is a bit more cray cray. I mean she had a tragic bumper car experience as a kid, ok. I’m not sure it merits crying over, but then again, she may be a genius because it certainly got her time and sympathy from Arie and she did end up getting a rose. Was it all an act? She also was quite aggressive once she actually got into the car. Hmmmm. The Husband was offended by the show’s snippets of bumper car tragedy reenactments. Kind of mean. But hey – she seemed to recover alright.
  • I’m super impressed with Brittany T. She’s so upbeat and spirited and I’ve never seen boobs quite like that in my life. She has very pretty eyes but all I could stare at were her two closest “friends.” I was wondering if the dress she was wearing would sufficiently hold those suckers up and also how Arie could look at anything else.
  • What was the nanny wearing for Demolition Derby? She might as well shown up in a bikini. She’s a completely free spirit, wild child. Arie loves making out with her. She just smiles at him and it’s enough to make him go ga-ga. The Husband got ahold of the Nanny’s instagram page – search for Bekah Martinez (@whats_ur_sign). She’s already got 42.4K followers and seems to have some sort of modeling career before this (and longer hair of different colors).
  • I was so bummed that Tia didn’t win. That said, “winning” didn’t really get Seinne much. I thought she’d at least get some alone time but nope. UPDATE: Thanks for correcting me – got confused as Tiffany received a “Hard Core Certificate” or something like that, but she didn’t actually win.
  • I’m pretty sure I would have been crying with Annaleise if I had to do Demolition Derby. This seemed like bumper cars on crack. I don’t like getting banged into from multiple angles and needing to do the same to others. Not my idea of a fun afternoon date. But maybe that’s just me.

Ok, so can we just drop everything and talk about Krystal? I am a bit baffled by her. There’s the baby talk thing which needs to be mentioned. Is this authentic? Is it an act? Is it from spending too much time in the sun meditating? I did once meet a girl from California who was also blonde and had to spend an irritating car ride listening to a baby voice like that. That was probably about 9 years ago and I still remember her saying, “I’m _____. And I’m from Saaaanta Barbarrra” in such a way that it took her about 15 seconds to spit out that sentence and I was pretty convinced she was on drugs or taken a valium. Only later did I realize that this was just how she spoke.

So baby voice aside, Krystal received a far better date than Bekah – the chance to see Arie’s home and meet his parents! He obviously saved this date specifically for her and clearly sees something serious with Krystal. The question is whether her multiple interruptions during the pre rose ceremony cocktail party annoyed him. They annoyed me. I mean Bibiana was ready to sucker punch her.

My other concern is her non-traditional upbringing. Can you come out of a broken family like that, living the way she did and having to deal with not being loved / supported by her parents and still be a sane person? She seems to Arie like a spiritual, sweet soul who would dote on his every word and seems to have bonded quickly with his intense mother. Or is the baby voice a cover up for rage she has? Are we going to see a crazy angry bitter side come out on this season? I thought it was classy of her not to reveal too much about her date to the other ladies but at the same time, I’m wondering if she is teasing them or enjoys having the upper hand in having it remain a mystery.

Eyelids are closing. Time to go to sleep and dream of Chelsea thinking she’s mysterious. I’m relieved she finally told Arie about her son because I thought that might drag on for another couple of weeks.

Other standouts this week:

  • Seinne. Who lives in Scottsdale and went to Yale. SMARTY PANTS> is this our first Ivy Leaguer on The Bachelor? She may be our next Bachelorette if this doesn’t work out.
  • Lauren B – maybe I’m associating her with Lauren Bushnell, Ben Higgins’ final choice, but Arie’s Lauren B is also blonde and beautiful. I’m hoping we see more of her.
  • Kendall is still quirky but she’s comfortable in her quirkiness and I think she’s smart. Arie’s intrigued.
  • Bibiana needs to do more than complain about not getting time and other girls taking her time away. Everyone knows that the ones who do this don’t last.

So as of now, we’ve got some strong attractions from Arie. I’d say his favorites are:

  1. Bekah the Nanny
  2. Lauren B the Blonde (he’s attracted to her, let’s see if she gets a date next week)
  3. Krystal
  4. Seinne
  5. Becca (maybe but I think she’s heading to the friend zone)

I’m interested in learning more about:

Tia, Lauren B and Lauren S.

I still think Arie prefers blondes, so we’ll see how he does with the group. Ok, off to bed. What did you think? Don’t forget, you can catch up on my whereabouts at http://www.instagram.com/OfficeStace.

 

 

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Comments

  1. I love reading your commentary after each episode and am so grateful when you post each week. I don’t have anyone to watch the show with (though occasionally my son will watch), so it’s like you’re my post-show virtual buddy. I remember an Ivy Leager from Bachelorette (Emily’s season? I don’t recall, but some guy who turned rude/nasty), but not from the Bachelor.
    Regarding whether or not Arie prefers blondes, wouldn’t they mainly have blondes for him if that is his type? I don’t know how they choose contestants. Thank you, Stacey!

  2. Hi! I think this maybe my first time commenting, but I love your blog! I’ve been tuning in for years! I too do not have anyone to watch this show with so after an episode airs, my favorite thing to do is hit up the blogs and see other people’s point of views! A couple of notes I wanted to make was that it wasn’t Brittany who won the derby comp group date, but Seinne! Also, your line “Can you come out of a broken family like that, living the way she did and having to deal with not being loved / supported by her parents and still be a sane person?” kind of struck something in me. I believe yes you can. I’ve had an… interesting upbringing and understand growing up not feeling loved/supported and emotionally disconnected by family and I think I’m fairing okay (I wouldn’t say sane or normal – normal is only a washing machine setting, and for being “sane”, are any of us normal/sane??) or maybe because of my upbringing is the reason why I’m 30 and still single… so maybe I’m not well adjusted? Am I not deserving of love because of my upbringing and destined to be alone? Well, anyhoo, I do think Krystal is a bit… odd, but I don’t think it has to do with her upbringing. And I’m still trying to figure out is she real or is it all an act? Either way, she’s making my phony radar go off.

    • Mandy – thank you for commenting and as I said with Jenny – you watch the show with me (and all of us!). We’re your virtual Bachelor watching / commenting friends.

      I’m sure someone can come from a broken / crazy childhood and turn out ok – it’s just that Krystal’s situation is at complete odds with her current personality it almost seems like she’s in a fog? I agree she’s odd. I mean look at Russan Kristina and all that she has overcome.

  3. Piggybacking about the Seinne/Brittany mix-up, to help clarify…Brittany did get a certificate from Ari, but it wasn’t for winning, it was for being hard-core, because she sustained a concussion or something like that.
    And I think that the shoes were not Louis Vuitton but (Christian) Louboutin.
    I agree that the Pretty Woman date was too soon…I think it would have been more fun/interesting for us the viewers to watch, and more of a 2-way interaction experience for them, if it had occurred later in the season with a girl he (and we) already knew personality-wise.
    Tia is growing on me. I think that Krystal is fake, and they are setting her up to either be villainess #2 (along with Chelsea) or to take over as villainess if they do redemption for Chelsea, like they did with Eric from Rachel’s season.

  4. Hey Stace,
    My husband and I are both irked by Krystal. For my husband, he can’t stand the way she talks, as she kind of sounds childish. For me, it’s the thinking she’s being respectful, but her actions showing otherwise. She seems to completely lack any self-awareness. My husband has dubbed Bibiana the “ABC Pick” for this season. I was put off by the Cinderella date with Becca. Her trying on clothes doesn’t help them get to know each other. It just seemed so superficial. The Demo Derby looked really fun, but it did seem like the producers were trolling Annaliese with the slow-mo footage of bumper cars. My husband thinks he likes Bekah because she probably makes him feel young. She does seem to have an infectious personality.

    This show brightens up my Mondays! I can’t wait for the winter games!
    -Mia

    • Mia – I like your husband’s thoughts. They mirror my own. Bekah seems like the girl you go have a few beers and go ride a bull with at a country bar. And yes, I can’t wait for the winter games!

  5. OMG, Ellie is absolutely adorable! I can’t believe she’s three years old now, Stacey! So glad you posted a picture of her.

    As far as The Bachelor, I just can’t get too excited about Ari. You hit it right on the head when you said that he’s effeminate as I was thinking the very same thing. He’s not a “manly man” at all & I might add that he has a blah personality to boot so to me he is very boring. The only other thing I have to say is that I’m trying to wrap my head around Krystal as I can’t figure out what she’s all about. I initially thought she was a sweet gal trying to help her brother & the homeless but now I just find her rather odd. I’m beginning to think it’s all an act & not sure Ari will pick up on it as he doesn’t seem that intuitive.

  6. Thank you for posting the article about Ames’ wedding. He’s not the Ivy Leager I was thinking of. It was Ian Thomson (Princeton alum) from Kaitlyn’s season: https://hollywoodlife.com/2015/06/16/ian-the-bachelorette-slut-shaming-kaitlyn-bristowe/

    He got rude in that one episode, and apologized in the Men Tell All.
    Thanks for watching with me!

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