Rachel The Bachelorette: Kicks Duds to Curb, Makes Men Swoon & Strip

Rachel may be one of the best Bachelorettes of all time. There, I said it. What do you guys think? Are you digging her this season? Or do you actually have a life so you’re doing other things this summer?  Rachel makes me laugh with her quick wit, she can see a DraMario (DeDramio?) coming from a thousand miles away and the more I get to love her personality, the more beautiful she appears.

Maybe they had a revamp of their production staff, but I am loving the original, fun dates on this season. It’s amazing to see all of these A list celebrity appearances this season. I really think that Rachel divided the guys up into “A List” and “B List” dates. The A Listers got to go to Ellen. There’s no way in hell she’d bring her favorites to dangle them in front of her hot single friends. Did you SEE the sexy number that Raven was wearing? No way in hell I’d let that seductress near any man I was remotely interested in. Rachel is so smart and I have so much confidence in her, that I’m fairly certain she already knows her top 4-5 guys (the A Listers), so she’s sorta giving her friends their pick of the remaining litter. I’d say Dean is maybe the only exception and Kenny is very entertaining as well, but I don’t think Rachel feels more than a friendship vibe for him. Also, don’t you kind of wish they’d have some commentary on what the guys thought of Rachel’s friends? Come on, SOMEONE had to say SOMETHING.

So first, we had the BIG return of DeMario. There were definitely moments when I thought Rachel would let him back in the mansion. Did you? I feel like past bachelorettes would have made that mistake. He’s definitely a sweet talker. He did seem sort of sincere in his remorse and that “Karma’s a bitch” Ex was definitely scary and who knows if what she’s saying is 100% true. Also, I actually believe DeMario would rather be going after Rachel than being with his Ex.  But Rachel was so upset when she initially was dealing with this, that it seems once she shut the door on DeMario, she was DONE. She didn’t even lose her cool in talking to him. He had no more power over her. He was just as shocked as I was – WHAT? A woman who isn’t taken by my charm and sincerity? Who sees through it? Rachel for President.

Thank the Lord that we’re done with Wah-Boom and his shenanigans. I only wish we could have spent more time with Ellen DeGeneres and less time watching Wah-Boom squabble with Blake the Aspiring Drummer. Biggest waste of national TV airtime EVER. The whole banana licking story did provide a couple laughs (mostly in watching Blake have a genuine laugh in hearing the accusation from Rachel), but let us be thankful that this nonsense is OVER.

So the A-Listers (and Jonathan the Tickler) go to The Ellen Show which may be my favorite celebrity guest since Jimmy Kimmel. I love Ellen’s love for the show and was feeling Rachel’s comment that Ellen is her spirit animal. I’m pretty sure Ellen feels like a lot of people’s spirit animal. When the guys stripped down and were grind-dancing the audience, The Husband and I laughed for 3 minutes straight. That means a lot because the Husband is on Day 1 of a carb free diet and he’s pretty angry. So anything that makes him laugh has to be very funny. I think The Husband’s spirit animal is Alex the Russian. The Husband likes Russians named Alex because of Alexander Ovechkin – the famous Washington Capitals ice hockey player, so maybe he’s confusing them? I’m pretty sure The Husband was jealous of that grandma who got grinded by Alex.

I did feel bad (like really bad) for Fred the Camper. Clearly the guy is living out his childhood crush. You feel his jealousy kick in when he learns that 3 other guys have kissed Rachel, but not him. I mean how do you go about building the right moment to kiss your childhood crush when you know you’re already behind the ball? Such pressure. Plus Rachel has already put him in the “naughty” kid corner and won’t let him out. He seemed to be coming up to bat with two strikes against him. Not exactly a fair playing ground. So Fred finally gets up the nerve to “be romantic” with Rachel, but then he ends up asking permission to kiss her? You just want to reach out and shake the guy. Dude, Rachel already sees you as a little boy. Stop ASKING if you can kiss her and plant one on her like a man.

So then Kid Camper Fred goes for it. Like really gives it the camper try. And it’s awesome and long and you can see he’s just exploding with excitement. I loved his off camera description of what it was like to kiss Rachel – just absolute screams of joy. I was so happy for him. And you can see stars in his eyes and he’s got his tuxedo all picked out for their wedding.  We’re thinking – hmmm, how amazing would that be for the kid naughty boy camper to be THE ONE all along? And there he was, just sitting in Dallas waiting for the right time to go after Rachel? I was ready to get on the Fred train.

Then it’s time to announce the group date rose and Rachel grabs it and pulls Fred aside. The Husband, being as hangry as he was, knew instantly that Friend Fred was DONE. Why did Rachel taunt him with that rose? Kind of mean, Rach. Did she not realize she was holding it and what Camper Fred would think?

Some of my favorite parts of tonight:

  • Watching Iggy butt in on Eric’s less than enthusiastic analysis of Rachel’s intentions. Eric is clearly the douche this season now that Wah Boom is gone. Or maybe it’s Lee. Anyone who stews angry thoughts towards Rachel about her sincerity while slouching on a couch with a sweatshirt hood drawn over his head, is not going to be very popular.
  • Can Iggy and Diggy have a YouTube channel together? There is no way Diggy is straight and Iggy just seems like genuine, big huggable guy. Neither have a chance with Rachel, but I just like their names together.
  • The Husband was very turned off by Bryce. I’m not sure what offended him more – his very white teeth, his semi-scary expressions or his Star Trekkish ears (which I think were semi-charming). I am impressed, however, that he beat the professional wrestler in a wrestling match. Funny how there was no reward of Rachel alone time for “winning” that match. Probably because Rachel agrees with The Husband’s assessment of Bryce.
  • Bryan the Model’s hair is ridiculous. It was just a step more crazy than David Silver’s 1990s do in Beverly Hills, 90210. I also don’t believe that Bryan’s straight. Diggy and Bryan may actually be an adorable couple.
  • I was super impressed with Alex the Russian’s Rubik’s Cube skills. More so – that he could solve the cube while romancing Rachel. That’s got to be attractive, right?
  • How suave was Anthony just hopping on a horse and riding it around Rodeo Drive when he’s NEVER RIDDEN A HORSE BEFORE? I was super impressed with him. At first, I thought he might be a bit vanilla for Rachel or not sophisticated enough. But he’s actually a good contrast to her strong, powerful personality. What do you think? Also, he’s 26 which is a bit young for 31 year old Rachel. But he seems like a very mature 26 year old. Their date was very cute – how awesome to walk horses into those fancy stores?!

Things that confused me:

  • Who is Matt? I honestly don’t even remember him. Also, Jack who has super white teeth. Did they just show up tonight?
  • Why did the cameras blur out the horse crap in the Rodeo Drive store? Is poop considered inappropriate for TV?
  • Would anyone want to go back into the pool now that Alex has confessed to peeing in it?
  • Seriously, why let your hot friends anywhere near your potential boyfriends? Rachel must be the most secure and confident female I have ever seen. Raven was digging for dirt and all signs seem to point to Eric. Let us not forget his words about Rachel, “It feels like it’s a lot of facade…like she’s playing a game…you’re not going to give (all of yourself) to someone who you’re probably not going to end up with.”
  • How strange is it to watch Corinne in any scene without her saying insanely ridiculous, funny things to the camera? I don’t think we heard her say a single word tonight which is a shame. She had to have some noteworthy opinions.
  • And where is my best friend Whitney who claims that Rachel is her best friend? Shouldn’t she have been there?

 

 

 

Other general observations:

  • Dean reminds me of the superhero leading man of a 1950s high school drama. He’s just made to go to prom with. Maybe it was that beige jacket he was wearing and his school boy, clean cut looks.
  • Is Lee going to end up to be the racist Southern Dude. One of the reasons I love this season so much is because we’ve been able to just enjoy Rachel being Rachel with no focus on race. It’s just a young, smart, beautiful woman looking for love. And her love is colorblind. Seriously – it’s such a diverse group of guys that she’s interested in and that’s what makes this such a unique, intriguing season. I hope Lee doesn’t ruin that for us.
  • So now 3 guys and Raven have warned her about Eric and she still gives him the group date rose. Never a good sign. Eric goes nuts and starts preaching at the guys – is he showing his true nature? He can’t handle the Bach heat. Guys hating on you – you’ve got to ignore it and focus on the girl.

 

 

 

Ok, that’s about all I’ve got in me for now. What did everyone else think? Any early favorites? I’m going to say that I’m very much into Will. He’s tall, dark and handsome. He makes Rachel laugh. We’ve seen enough of him to know that Rachel is into him, and he’s described as “outgoing” but he also makes Rachel laugh (e.g., saying “Yes I WILL” when accepting her rose). He’s funny and Rachel knows it. He’s one to watch.

I still like Latin Lover guy, Gap Toothed Pete and Dean. And Anthony is a strong possibility after tonight too. How will Rachel decide? So many great men here.

While we ponder how bad the Eric / Lee fallout next week will be, I must call it a night. We are still recovering from three separate 3 year old birthday parties this weekend and a 5 mile race in Central Park. All good stuff, but my brain and legs need a rest and I’m taking my Hangry Husband with me.

Good night, Bachelorette fans. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this season and Rachel’s men.  Follow me on Instagram (@OfficeStace).

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Comments

  1. Susan Curry says:

    I like Will for Rachel also; he’s an adult. I don’t think Dean is straight either.

    It was phenomenally meanspirited of Rachel to pick up the group date rose and call Fred into the other room in order to send him home. It changed my whole opinion of her. If the producers suggested she do that, she should still be very ashamed of herself.

  2. “Giving her friends their pick of the remaining litter”… haha, you crack me up. Love your assessments as usual from last night’s show. You always ALWAYS think what I think. I didn’t think I’d love Rachel as much as much as I do. I love her more and more with each show. I also love the fun quirky group dates they’ve been showing. I usually fast word through the hokey ones on previous seasons. At the beginning of the Rodeo Dr date, I didn’t care for Anthony, by the end, loved him and was glad he got a rose. I keep watching Corinne hoping for something hilarious to come out of her mouth but since it’s not about her, guess we won’t be hearing anything from her. I’m still in the stage where I can’t remember any of the guys names (but a few) so I’m glad you clarify it for me in your awesome blog. Thanks Stacey.

  3. First of all, I absolutely love LOVE your blog, Stacey. I can hardly wait to read what you have to say the next day after Monday night’s show! For sure, you’re pretty much on target with these guys.

    I absolutely love Rachel! She is most definitely my favorite bachelorette now . . . . .AND I never ever thought anyone could surpass JoJo. As far as the bachelors, I agree with you that Will is the one to watch. Out of all of them, he is by far her match, so to speak. . . . . . the others – not so much! I do like gap-toothed Pete although I’m not all that sure that he’s taken with her as much as she is with him. . . . . really cute guy though. Another one to watch out for is Anthony although he is a bit young at 26. However, he seems very mature, has his act together, laid back, & they seem to enjoy each other’s company. . . . . . horseback riding adventure was cute.

  4. So, no show last night? Did we know that was happening? And then there was the mountain of tweets (or what do you call hundreds of tweets…a flock?) about BIP being cancelled and the alleged reasons…do we discuss – or ignore? I vote to ignore. Another story.

    Anyway, I did like the Anthony date – shopping with horses (just watched it on dvr) and agree about Pete and Will. Hope it stays real.

  5. Christabel Graham says:

    Thanks to Dr_mack@yahoo. com for taking the time of bringing my man back to me. I went to 3 different spell casters, but only Dr Mack got the job done. Like I said before I appreciate all his time, effort, and energy used to restore my relationship, My boyfriend admitted he loves me and really want to be in a relationship with me. After 2 years of separation, we are now couples ……
    Christabel Graham

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