Paradise Lost? The Bachelorette Challenges The Drama As Her Men Squabble

So much to discuss tonight. Like how I almost got killed on my way home from work due to the insane NYC lightning / 60 mph winds and thunderstorms. It was actually the perfect impending backdrop for tonight’s Bachelorette. I was also umbrella-less and the storm’s severity sent every cell phone within a 10 mile radius into a buzzing, pitching tizzy. In any event, I made it home soaked and alive. Barely.

After a hazy couple of weeks of drama surrounding the currently filming of Bachelor in Paradise (BIP = RIP?), I was happy to be back to Rachel’s sunny disposition and mastery of Bachelorette skills if any Bachelorette ever had such skills. But overall, she’s still got a lot of fat trimming to do with these men until I can take them seriously.

Before we get into it, let’s just recap some of the Bach newsworthy items we’ve heard over the last couple weeks:

  • First off, Carly Waddell married Evan Bass – remember these guys from the last season of Bachelor in Paradise? Carly treated him horribly and couldn’t be more repulsed by him. Then he somehow charmed her and despite holding a World Record for the longest, most awkward kiss in Bach history, they’re now married. ABC will show the wedding in an upcoming episode or special.
  • In case you’ve been trapped in a bunker with no cell service for the last 2 weeks, the breaking news in Bachelor land is that filming was suspended for Bachelor in Paradise which was supposed to air in August. There are all sorts of rumors flying around, but basically the show is investigating “sexual misconduct” that involved Corinne’s “Platinum Vagine” and DeMario “DeOusted” by Rachel. Cast members were sent home with no explanation and one of the producers is suing the show as is Corinne and everyone is all lawyered up. We’ll have to wait to see what the next steps are. The whole situation is just sad because people find TRUE LOVE on this show. Like Lace and Grant (RIP) and Amanda Standon and Josh (RIP). Oh wait, they both broke up. But we love to watch them! Because what is summer without Bachelor in Paradise and more drunk people making out and fighting and getting dumped in a pool? PS – Jade and Tanner are expecting their first baby very soon. See, true love CAN happen in Paradise.
  • Trista Sutter (first Bachelorette) was on vacation with her family in Croatia when she suddenly had a “violent” seizure. It sounds like Trista is ok now, but it was quite the scare.

Ok, I’m now ready to move on to Rach and this episode. Not sure if it was me, but this episode did seem to drag. There are still too many odd balls still remaining. For example, let’s just cut out Lee, Kenny, Iggy and Josiah right now.

Why do I say this?

  1. Lee is an instigator. His insane hair part that doves into a surfer wave, minus the one imperfect strand that falls beneath the huge wave when he’s defending himself, is just intolerable to watch. He’s been throwing out really stupid phrases that imply he’s questionably racist or at the very least, incredibly stupid. At the same time, he knows how to turn it on with Rachel and for some reason she finds him more of a potential match than DIGGY, who COME ON, is on the other team for sure (not that there’s anything wrong with that). I’d certainly want to spend an evening getting styled by Diggy than listen to one more minute of Lee’s nonsense or see his squirmy fake smile. UGH.
  2. Kenny’s temper is too much. And based on next week’s preview, he should just go right now. Also the free style rap thing is just too much. He’s a little too much showmanship and should be a little more Rachel savvy. She’s not into the flashy. I think Kenny means well and it all comes from a good place, but he’s literally killing his chances by the second.
  3. Iggy is just a joke. There’s not an ounce of Rachel that’s interested in that.
  4. There are parts of Josiah that are wonderful – sense of humor, spelling abilities and his drive. But altogether, he’s a big mess and can’t get out of his own way.

As for this week’s dates, Dean is like a living Ken doll. Those blue eyes, dark hair, white teeth. In fact, if Bachelor in Paradise is gone forever, the show could make up revenue by selling Dean dolls. He’s almost too pretty to be taken seriously. I do agree with the concern of his age. Even watching how he opened up to Rachel about his mother’s death felt very raw and unprocessed. He had never told another person about it at age 25 and this happened when he was 15? His family “fell apart” after his mother’s death and it sounds like he hasn’t fully gotten his head around it and really dealt with what happened. In my opinion, Dean seems like a nice enough guy – he seems to come from a similar background as Rachel, but he needs about 5-8 years more to bake. Maybe get in trouble a little.

Also The Husband is convinced that with his pretty boy looks and white pants he was sporting during their evening date, that Dean is on the same team as Diggy. I still picture Dean as the lead character of a 1950s high school musical.

The group date was fun to watch. Props to Peter for trying to free style rap. His confidence shined through, but I was still cringing the entire time.  Peter seems a bit on the serious side. Not sure he’s free spirited enough for Rachel. The Husband thinks if you clean shaved his face, it would grow back 30 seconds later.

I don’t think Will is getting enough air time. His voice reminds me of Obama for some reason. Will just oozes good guy and I hope we get to see more of him. Plus he was runner up in the Spelling Bee, so perhaps he’s got brains to match the looks?

I am absolutely confused by Bryan (Latin Lover) and Jack (who I honestly can’t recall before tonight). I thought they were one person before Jack got all excited about getting the second one on one. Speaking of which – did we miss Jack’s date or did they just not finish the group date? Perhaps this is why we needed 2 episodes next week. Back to back!

Highlights for me on this episode:

  • Watching Rachel’s reaction to talking with Bryan and Peter versus any other guy in the house. She’s absolutely smitten with these two.
  • Rachel’s reaction when Eric tries to kiss her. She’s taken aback, but goes for it. Not sure she’s feeling it.
  • Watching how Rachel plays judge at every controversial event that takes place in the house. She literally is having these guys present their case, but does it in this flirtatious, non-confrontational way. She is so done with the Foolish Four (Lee, etc.)
  • Rachel taking the reins on the Blimp date. So many times it’s the women who are timid and the men have to “save” them. I loved watching Rachel embody a strong, fearless woman who comforts her timid, fearful date. I also loved how she jumped into one of the pilot seats and took over. Watching Dean together with Rachel, they almost have a big sister, little brother relationship. She’s his babysitter? Even how they walk with their arms around each other versus holding hands, just seems a bit chummy to me. What do you think?

And with that, it’s time to dive into bed and reflect on whether the Kenny bloody eye shot was from an actual fight with Lee or something completely unrelated that they’re editing to make us think was horrific.

I’m still excited about Will even though Rachel’s only got eyes for Bryan and Peter at this point. The rest seem like immature SCHMUCKS. And that was the easiest word to spell, btw. Who are your favorites? Who is going home next week?

Happy Monday. Stay cool and away from open fields if you’re in a lightning storm.

Til next week,

Stacey B (@OfficeStace on Instagram)

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Comments

  1. I thought last night’s episode was a real snooze fest. I played solitaire on my phone during the whole show and I was more interested in beating my high score, so that says a lot. Dean deciding to open up for the first time on national tv was odd. I like Bryan the best so far. Most of the others are a joke. And the rest I don’t remember yet. It’s so funny that you mentioned the 2nd one on one! I was falling asleep and thinking “My gosh, I still have to get through another date.” Thank goodness they ended it. I hope this season starts to pick up. I so look forward to it every Monday!

  2. Chrissy – did you beat your high score in solitaire? :) I usually hide my cell phone during the episode as friends tend to text me their thoughts and I’m usually not caught up yet on my DVR> But last night, I kept responding throughout. Bad sign. Hopefully once they get rid of the clowns, it will start to get more interesting.

  3. Susan Curry says:

    I agree the episode was snoozeworthy. I was just thinking to myself that Will has not had enough screentime. He is intelligent and sane so I think they would make a good match. I also like Peter but I do think Dean likes him too. :-)

  4. Christabel Graham says:

    Thanks to Dr_mack@yahoo. com for taking the time of bringing my man back to me. I went to 3 different spell casters, but only Dr Mack got the job done. Like I said before I appreciate all his time, effort, and energy used to restore my relationship, My boyfriend admitted he loves me and really want to be in a relationship with me. After 2 years of separation, we are now couples,,

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