A Snake in Oslo: The Bachelorette Repels & Plays Handball in Norway

The love they're feeling...can't stop. Won't stop. Bryan for the adrenaline date.

The love they’re feeling…can’t stop. Won’t stop. Bryan for the adrenaline date.

Happy Double Bachelorette week, Bach fans! I was so tired after a long weekend but was pleasantly surprised (Husband was NOT) when I remembered that we’re doubling up on episodes this week. Also, for those that haven’t heard, the controversial investigation into Bachelor in Paradise was concluded, there was no evidence of really bad “stuff” and so the filming has resumed. Whether this pushes back the original premiere date of August 8th is yet to be seen. Rumor has it that Corinne and DeMario are not returning to film. Corinne supposedly wasn’t invited and DeMario is still suing. Ah well.

I was a bit confused on the sequencing of tonight’s episode. We start in the middle of the group cocktail party. The Husband kept saying he thought it was the rose cocktail ceremony. He was also confused later on when Rachel got in that hot tub with Peter. He took a bite of chicken (The Husband, not Peter) and 5 seconds later he thought we were on a one-on-one date with Peter and Rachel. He didn’t believe me that this was still the group date. Clearly, this was planned in advance and Rachel chose Peter to spend this time with. The guys joke and say it’s 3.5 hours later when Peter returns solo and a bit ruffled. That must truly be awkward. I wonder how long it really was – long enough that nobody was allowed to go interrupt them. Also, did Rachel just happen to bring a bathing suit with her during the night time group cocktail party? But wait, we’re not even up to THAT cocktail party.

Let’s rewind to last week’s group date which carried into tonight. Kenny and the Snake Lee (not a cousin of Spike Lee) are going at it. Kenny is holding back with every inch of his fiber but all wondering when he’s going to lose it and if the previewed blood over his eye is something related to Lee or an edited shot of a group date activity. Lee is the definition of “poking the bear” and he’s enjoying Kenny’s inability to just ignore him. Now Will, who I am loving more and more each week – and who just oozes good guy – gives Lee some insight into why Kenny is all rattled. The first actual discussion about race takes place here. Pretty amazing that this is how it came out, but it still didn’t seem to make Lee change his behavior.

So then that group date rose goes to Bryan, who is all in love and fantasied up and perfect guy and wait, why was there a boat on their cocktail party for him and Rachel to exchange very tongue heavy kisses on? Anyhow, Rachel is not shy about giving more and more reassurance to the guys she likes the most and seem to be in the top seats (Bryan and Peter). PS I also felt bad for Peter since if he really was gone for hours to make out with Rachel – and he actually did want to slow things down so that they could talk more (a true gentleman – perhaps part vampire, but noble nonetheless) – he has a right to be insulted that Rachel didn’t give him the group rose. And you know I love Will. But come on – you can’t strip down to a bathing suit during a group date, invite a guy to come grind with you underwater and then give the group date rose to someone else. Unless you’re Rachel. Peter is seriously pondering what went wrong in that hot tub. Nothing, Peter. She’s got you in the palm of her hand – she’s just trying to build up Will’s confidence.

The one-on-one date with Jack was simply painful to watch. I stopped confusing him with Bryan once I saw how intense his facial expressions were. His teeth are a little too white and sparkly. His eyebrow points up when he thinks he’s being clever. It was just generally repulsive and the more he talked about how he was suddenly struck by his feelings for Rachel, the more she recoiled (another snake term there). The nail in the coffin was his response to what he’d do with Rachel if he could take her back to Dallas right there and then. Because laying in bed with a locked door to hang out with Jack who kinda looks like Bryan is absolutely unappealing in every way to Rachel. He did not pick up on a single clue of Rachel’s lack of interest. Maybe he wanted to believe it was there so bad, he didn’t care that she was utterly uninterested.

Oslo, Norway looks amazing. Who else was hoping that there would be some sort of Frozen scene with Anna and Elsa and Olaf and ice sledding? I mean ABC is owned by Disney and I’d like to have been brought to Arendelle or a Frozen type ice palace of some sort. Whatever, there’s always tomorrow.

So of course Bryan is getting that one on one date to explore the city. We saw our first adrenaline date of the season and Rachel is DIGGING it. Is her relationship with Bryan too hot and fiery to last? They talk about it being too good to be true, but is it?

OH BREAKING NEWS – I INTERRUPT THIS BLOG POST BECAUSE I FORGOT TO TELL YOU GUYS WHO I SAW LAST WEEK AS I WAS LEAVING MY WORK OFFICE BUILDING. It was none other than Catherine Giudici Lowe (Sean Lowe the Bachelor’s wife!!). She was pushing a stroller with one hand and had their gorgeous baby in the other. It was a very hot June day and apparently they were town all of last week. I did what any normal Bachelor fanatic did and COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FROZE AND BECAME MORONIC. Seriously. I managed a, “You’re Catherine!” and she smiled and I said, “Oh Wow. You’re in New York!” and she kind of gave me a polite nod perhaps wondering if I was an actual stalker (I am) or just a random crazy New Yorker (correct again).  After she passed me, I ended up just saying, “I love you guys. Have a great time in New York.” And she gave me another cute Catherine smile and walked (probably ran) away. I should have offered her a bathroom or water in my office had I been able to use my brain properly. UGHHH. Oh well, still absolutely made my day.

So Bryan is laying it on thick. The Husband was getting nauseous with all the tongue kissing. At one point he asked me if they were co-eating an eel or if that was just their shiny tongues being passed back and forth into their mouths. Interesting question. By the time the Bryan date is over, we can pretty much end the season now, right? Because he’s basically already declared his love and we know that Rachel feels at least the same and has since the first night. Can we go home now? Or did her hot tub with Peter sway her another way?

The group date was fun to watch this week. Hand ball looks intense but the uniforms alone were worth watching. Did you guys notice Alex the Russian’s partial French braid? He continues to crack me up every time. But I’m not sure if Rachel can take him seriously or he’s always a goofball. I absolutely love Will and wish Rachel would give him a one-on-one date. He’s kind of late to join the Rachel party so I fear it may be too late for him to catch up to her interest in Bryan, Peter and Dean (thought Dean was way in the background tonight).

Eyes are closing, so it must be time to wrap things up. The two on one date is just annoying. I’m losing interest in the Lee / Kenny feud. Lee is picking on Kenny, for sure, and Lee is manipulative and now lying about Kenny. Rachel must know that. I mean, is she remotely attracted to Lee? Can’t she kick him off because of his obnoxious, overly aggressive hair part alone? I would. But alas, we have to see what absolutely fired up Kenny is going to do to Lee. Because he’s laughing at him like a madman. And then we’re just left to wait. Where is Rachel why this mad fit of laughter is happening?

Til tomorrow, Bachelor fans. I hope you’re keeping it 100 with whomever you’re hanging out with.

Xoxo,

Stacey B

PS

I just can’t with any more of Kenny’s snake analogies…even if they’re true

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Comments

  1. I really love Rachel, but finding it difficult to get into this season for some reason. So glad she sent Jack home, CLEARLY no chemistry there. Wish the producers weren’t so controlling, as Lee and Kenny should also experience that one-on-one fate. Get ’em outta here. The connection with Bryan is undeniable, and he’s HOT. If he’s not “the one”, he will surely double (triple?) his Chiro practice. I like Will a lot, too. Not sure if she will find her “ever after” in this bunch, but at least sh’s having fun!

  2. Anonymous 4 says:

    Hi Stacy,

    I’ve had some catching up to do. LOL on so much you’ve written & the husband’s beard comment cracked me up.

    It’s so annoying that they cast Lee. They must’ve known he was a manipulator. And to keep Lee over some of the others … Could that have been a production decision ?

    Bryan is slick but it could be true he’s fallen for her. She’s beautiful, smart & successful. A fairy tale for sure. Do they elope right away ?

    Glad the Bachelor in Paradise is back on track. It really riled me to think that Corinne & Mr. Debonair would ruin it for all of us ! SHE HAD THE $$$ to cause BIG problems if she wanted. Did they make some kind of financial settlement ?

    You should have told Catherine who YOU are ! You’ve got the hottest Bachelor/BAchelorette blog on the internet !!! but I still miss the video blogs with you & the Husband :-)

    A4

    • A4, thank you for your kind words. I’ll talk to The Husband about doing some video blogging. Maybe we’ll get our daughter involved too. She’ll have very strong opinions. I don’t know where she gets in from :)

  3. Christabel Graham says:

    Thanks to Dr_mack@yahoo. com for taking the time of bringing my man back to me. I went to 3 different spell casters, but only Dr Mack got the job done. Like I said before I appreciate all his time, effort, and energy used to restore my relationship, My boyfriend admitted he loves me and really want to be in a relationship with me. After 2 years of separation, we are now couples,

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