Rachel Lindsay Sizzles as First African American Bachelorette in Premiere

Our new Bachelorette!

Our new Bachelorette!

Welcome back, Bachelorette Fans!! Is there anyone’s jaw that didn’t drop when Rachel and Colombian Lover boy Bryan were interlocked in fierce passionate kissing within moments of speaking? Dios mio! More on that later…

Just in time to take our minds away from this horrific terror attack in Manchester, to allow us to hide from the time-consuming, political environment and more personally, from potty training a fiercely obstinate 3 year old – here comes Rachel.  I was optimistic about Rachel’s tenure as our new Bachelorette. She has all the makings of a great heroine for this series: Extreme confidence, the perfect combination of incredibly intelligent and well spoken with a light hearted personality, a beautiful smile and the ability to cut to the chase. She’s absolutely adored by her 7 bestie co-Bachelorette former roommates. It’s obvious that she’s charismatic, extremely likable and let us not forget – she’s the daughter of a federal judge. I don’t think we’ve seen a Bachelorette with a better pedigree. Yes, there was Andi Dorfman, former lawyer and Ashley Hebert the dentist, but compared to Rachel’s people chemistry and naturally magnetic personality – we’re in a far more intriguing season. I don’t see Rachel falling for an idiot. Though she did keep Whaaa Boom moron. Can we just get rid of these people before we have to take up a second more of brain power needing to watch them? Clearly he’s there for the ratings.

Now favorable and hopeful thoughts of Rachel aside, I did feel a bit like the show was “selling” us on Rachel. I’ve said this in my previous post, but we’ve never seen a level of tricks and ratings stunts pulled out for any former Bachelor or Bachelorette. Is ABC or the show producers worried that Bachelor Nation is racist? Do they not think Rachel can pull off strong ratings based on being herself? It was getting to be a little overkill on how many times we heard throughout tonight’s premiere how much everyone loves Rachel. She was described by them as the following:

  • “Wicked hot”
  • “Amazing”
  • “Voice is sexy”
  • “Disney princess”
  • “Smitten with this girl”
  • “the real deal”
  • “She’s the kind of girl you have babies with”
  • “Gorgeous”
  • “She’s dope.”
  • “I got butterflies.”

We get it. We like her. Even though she doesn’t like chocolate?!! Now let’s see how the guys measure up…

I am loving the fact that Rachel is 31 – slightly older than the average Bachelorette and it means that we’re getting a slightly older age curve of contestants vying for her. Last season’s group of women, while very attractive, were EXTREMELY young and I’m not convinced they were ready to settle down. I’m hoping with age, comes a bit more maturity – and Rachel will easily be able to seek that out.  She did, however, use the expression “Let’s keep it 100.” I think this is a millennial thing and since I’m officially old (I turned 40 in March), I had to google this phrase. Accordingly to Urban Dictionary, “Keep it 100” means:

to keep yourself real and true, to be honest and stick to the way you are, no matter what any one else thinks.

Did you all know this already? Am I over the hill? Because if someone told me to “Keep it 100,” I’d think they’re either handing me a $100 bill and don’t need change or maybe want me to a keep a secret until I’m 100. Whatever, I’m old. Don’t answer that. The fact that I’m googling what Rachel’s expressions mean just shows my age. At least I know how to google something.

There were so many dudes that stepped out of the limos, I honestly had a hard time keeping track. Here are my key observations:

  • Rachel seems especially attracted to tall slim Caucasian men with moderate amounts of facial hair. Definitely the Nick Viall type. I think she kept three of them around, including Latin Lover.
  • I was curious whether Rachel, as a lawyer, would be attracted to another lawyer. Particularly since litigators tend to be alpha personalities and might not mix with other litigators. I thought Josiah had an appealing back story in being a former kid criminal turned prosecuting attorney but he may have come on a bit strong. He did have one of my favorite lines of the night, “See you later, Litigator.”  He’s 28 years old and seemed perhaps the tiniest bit immature compared with Rachel. His confidence was amusing though, so he’ll definitely be one to watch if he can get out of his own way.
  • I would have liked to see more drunk scenes from Mohit featuring his Bollywood dancing.
  • Blake E is definitely going to crash and burn with such early and open verbal hate of whaaa boom. Everyone knows that if Whaaa Boom is already pissing him off to the point of anger on Night 1, he’ll never cut it in this environment. Also, we may as well kick this guy to the curb now because I don’t see Rachel ending up with an “Aspiring Drummer.” Also, was he the one going on about his amazing libido or was that someone else? I can’t keep track but I thought that person was a physical trainer and has lots of endorphins. Is it the drumming that gets him hot? I think I’m confusing Blake E with Eric the personal trainer or Lee the singer / song writer. I think Lee is the Southern gent who looks to get crazy later on in the season.
  • There was some serious teeth whitening happening before tonight’s show.
  • DeMario is definitely the bad boy that she can’t help falling for. I’m glad Whitney (my BFF – did you hear how I spoke to her on the phone recently?) gave her a warning about him. He’s hilarious though. And he reminds me of my Jewish camp friend, Stinky. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think they might be brothers from another mother.
  • Speaking of camp, what do we think about Rachel’s former camper, Fred, who is 4 years younger than him and that she had to discipline? You know Rachel is Fred’s total fantasy from his childhood days. I actually have a very close female friend who ended up marrying her younger camper. Camp friends have crazy close connections. I married my camp friend. They kind of played down their connection tonight, but Rachel did confess to finding Fred attractive. Now we just have to find out if young camper Fred grew up to be a good person – or maybe she prefers him to be her bad boy.
  • I take a moment out of discussing Rachel’s men to gush about her beautiful white beaded gown this evening. It was so flattering on her! Very bridal and sexy at the same time. Details on the gown: It’s by Randi Rahm, involved 30 pounds of bright white beads and Swarovski crystals, all hand beaded. While the dress isn’t available online, Rahm indicated she’ll be making a more affordable version at some point. In the meantime, if you have an extra $6800 to spend – you can check out a similar style at Saks at this link.
  • Peter the gap-toothed blue eyed, plaid suit boy seemed very clean cut and personable. Maybe their kids could get a discount from Ashley the Dentist. Ok, that was mean – I know their little gap tooth is a charming thing. But two gap toothed fools in love? Hmmm.  She had another dark haired, blue eyed admirer in Dean the 24 year old start up recruiter. I kept confusing these two, actually. Dean had the insanely annoying flowery tie and wanted to build sand castles with Rachel. He’s sweet, but he’s 24 – a solid 7 years younger than Rachel. She could eat him for breakfast. She’ll never be happy with him. Brady the male model – also nice looking, but is Rachel really looking to marry a model? I don’t think so, but he’s sure fun to date and look at for the time being, though his smile was slightly mischievous in a scary way.
  • Rob the Law Student reminded me of Ryan Sutter (Trista the Bachelorette’s husband) – I think it was the serious glasses and poet type look about him. He didn’t make the cut.
  • Diggy was our other serious glasses wearing, fashionista. Definitely got a gay vibe from him, but maybe that’s just me. Rachel will have to fight for closet space with him and his 575 pairs of sneakers. Unless she gets him to come out of the closet. Bad joke.
  • There were definitely some good looking men in this crew and Rachel was into them – I’d say she was attracted to Eric, the personal trainer, Will, the Sales Manager who did the nerdy Irkel impression but who’s actually very good looking, Kenny the Wrestler and Anthony the Education Software manager. Not sure Rachel is ready to be a mom to a 10 year old daughter (sorry, Kenny) and Anthony is only 26 (yikes to a 31 year old professional woman).
  • The Husband seems excited about Alex, another bearded white guy that arrived with a vacuum cleaner. Maybe it was the thought of someone with a cleaning device who could actually tidy up around our own apartment that caught his eye. Who knows.
  • This is the most diverse cast of men in the history of the show – should be interesting to see how the fans react. I’m also interested to see the dynamics in the house amongst the men.
  • You have a serious right to be insulted if you’re the fireman, the doctor or even a former pro basketball player and Rachel has picked Whaaa Boom guy over you. That’s just nonsense.

There’s too many to go too deep about any of them individually or to even know who these people are at this point. Also, I was convinced that Rachel would NOT give the first impression rose to the guy she had just made out with. Who is coaching her? Shouldn’t she be playing a little hard to get? The Husband said Latin Lover WOULD get the rose and he was right. I was surprised, no rather, astonished, at how direct Rachel was with her reasons for giving him the first impression rose. Almost like she was laying out her arguments for a court of law. She was actually explaining her physical attraction to him. Who knew human beings knew how to communicate like that? I hope he can match her open style in more than just animated tongue wrestling.  Also, not to be too critical, but I believe Bryan referred to himself as a “Chiropractic Physician.” Is he implying to Rachel that he’s a licensed doctor? I’ve done minimal research and can only conclude that a chiropractor is NOT a licensed doctor – meaning, a chiropractor can’t prescribe drugs, do surgery and is not required to complete training in a hospital. Not that I have anything against chiropractors. I could actually use one right now as I’ve been sitting in an actual booster seat blogging and my back hurts, too lazy to move to a chair that my 3 year old doesn’t use.

Do we have a person still in the mix who calls himself a “Tickle Monster?” Him and Whaaaa Boom need to go make a children’s book together and go away. Penguin suit guy didn’t bother me so much. He reminded me of the Dolphin Girl from last season – just down to earth and charming.

So that’s all my brain can manage to absorb on Night 1 of this season. I’m so happy we’ve got a brand new cast of characters to get to know with a worthy Bachelorette leading us through. Do you have any early favorites? I’m liking some of the bearded Caucasian fellows myself, Will and maybe a couple others that I can’t distinguish quite yet.

Until next week, I’m very much looking forward to getting lost in this season again. Especially once Whaaa Boom, the Tickler and the Ventriloquist (big Adam?) are gone.

Xoxo,

Stacey B

PS – you can catch up on some of my recent personal adventures by following me on Instagram (www.Instagram.com/OfficeStace or @OfficeStace), or on Facebook page – www.Facebook.com/OfficeStace. Life as a full time working mom of a 3 year old is not for the weak or weary. Off to bed. I’ve got exactly 5 hours until the first “Mommy! I need you” screams of the day begin.

PPS – It’s now 6:45 AM, and everyone is still asleep, so I’m adding some photos of our weekend in Amish country…

$ extra for the pink cowboy hat. Couldn't resist

$ extra for the pink cowboy hat. Couldn’t resist

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The Husband & Ellie

The Husband & Ellie

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Comments

  1. I believe DeMario was the one that had the Vegas tickets. And I also think I read that the Tickle monster is a doctor. It’s too soon for me to tell who I really like but Waaahboom guy needs to go.

  2. I hope we aren’t playing the “keep the crazy one around for awhile” game with Waaaahboom. I don’t think I can watch if he sticks around. He makes me feel really silly (and kinda stupid) to be watching. I hope he goes soon. I think you are right about Blake E being the guy who bragged about his libido. He is very creepy. Overall, I think she is great and there is a lot of potential!!

    • Chrissy – totally agree. Only saving grace is that the other guys are just as appalled as we were at Wahh Boom, so it’s at least amusing to watch their reactions.

  3. Hey Stace,
    Here we are again! Last night’s episode was a good distraction from the fact that my due date is on Thursday and I haven’t felt any sign of labor yet! I agree with Chrissy – I really hope Wahboom isn’t going to be around for long. My husband dubbed him the “ABC Pick” for last night. I like Josiah but I worry he might be coming on a bit strong, and is taking things quite seriously early on. I didn’t watch the scenes at the end because I think they tend to reveal too much and I like to be somewhat surprised each week. All I know is I don’t think I can handle more Wahboom. When he did the Wahboom thing the first time my husband said, “I wonder if he knows how many brain cells he is losing?”

    -Mia

    • Hi Mia! You’re in the home stretch now!!! I hope you’re feeling ok. You’re doing the absolute best thing by getting lost in Bach and Wahboom, as annoying as he is. I agree with your husband. Rest up, Mama!

  4. I missed the first week and catching up…. but I’m not really into the the first couple of shows and the introductions. I find them staged (probably by ABC) and pretty much useless and ridiculous. I also found myself fast-forwarding through the nut job (refuse to even type it, as that’s what he wants) and hope he goes SOON. As for the race thing you mentioned, when I see or am around people with CLASS, I see no color or ethnicity. It’s a person’s character I see FIRST. I think everybody makes way too much an issue about race. But then again, it only takes a few classless, characterless, people to give an entire group a bad name.

    As for the guys — way to early.

    As for Rachel — gorgeous, poised, brilliant. I just hope ABC doesn’t ruin her.

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