Thank goodness this show was only an hour tonight. Normally I’d cheer for 5 hours of a Bachelor marathon, but tomorrow is The Husband’s 40th birthday and we’ve got festivities going on, Bachelor fans! How many times in your life do you turn 40? Or your husband turns 40? In this lifetime, it’s happening ONCE and we happen to be 25 days apart. So we had a very casual pizza and cake situation here tonight and I’m wiped out. The Husband is a crazy Star Wars fan for life, so it was only appropriate to have a cake. Tomorrow night is a hockey game at MSG after a full day of work, so I best get on with this crazy show.
When I told The Husband that Bach was only an hour tonight, he blurted out, “Best news of my life.” Uh, I think we’re all ready to fast forward on this season?
So Corinne’s reaction to getting dumped by Nick reminded me of Ellie’s meltdown at 8:30 PM tonight after a no nap day, and her almost 3 year old body was running solely on Star Wars birthday cake and a packet of green beans she wolfed down. She was delirious and scream crying. Poor Corinne can only apologize to Nick for doing something. Oh, Corinne. You are a miracle for making it this far. She was the tiny elephant in the room of the final 4 girls. It was quite simple – Corinne is still a child and the other women are adults. While Corinne is a lot of fun, I don’t think Nick pictured a life with her, her nanny and her dad. This was probably the clearest decision we’ve seen. Ellie’s nanny told me there are rumors that Corinne his hooking up with evil Chad. Remember Steroids Chad? Oy.
So we only get to see Raven’s date and I was happy to see a cold weathered fantasy week. Finland looks absolutely magnificent. I told The Husband he can take me to a remote candlelit cabin any time. Our apartment building lost heat yesterday and I think we’re kind of cold, but it’s nothing like what Finland cold looks like. Those taverns look very cozy.
Raven’s got that sweet Southern thing going for her and she’s so soft spoken and innocent. I really didn’t want to hear about her lack of orgasms – couldn’t she have told Nick that in private? Why does the world (and her family?) need to know this level of detail? Nick’s turtleneck sweater looked unbearably itchy and like it would swallow his face. At one point he rolled down the neck and something fell out of the collar (or maybe his bushy beard?). Anyhow, there was a LOT of wool going on this episode.
Raven’s little love declaration was dragged out BEYOND a tolerable pace, but I guess it was kind of cute.
Oh wait, let’s rewind – what the HELL was Andi doing there? She wanted to know what Nick was thinking about his remaining women? WHY?? Was she paid to come back? Who needs her? How did she manage to be annoying in just a few minutes? Why does she care what Nick is up to or is thinking? She needs to go. And why does she need whiskey to ask him how his Bach season is going? She takes herself way too seriously.
Ok, so Raven accepts the fantasy card and off they go to snuggle in her Raven hair. Will she have an orgasm? Does the world now need to get an answer about this? Does Nick love her back? I’m not sure how I feel about them. Perhaps she’s the best match of the remaining 3? They just seem to have such a natural affection and respect for one another. But I wonder if Raven will bore Nick down the road. He seems to want to be continuously challenged and have an “edge” in his ladies. I think after a few months, Raven’s sweet talk might not be enough? I don’t know. What do I know? I’m too tired to think at this point.
Til next time. We’ve got some celebrating to do over here. Happy Birthday, Husband. Thank you for being born 40 years ago (and to his mother for giving birth!) and for being my Bachelor loving companion. Love you.