The Bachelor’s Ladies Dance, Fly and Sprint To Win Nick Viall’s Heart

Hopefully a pre-puke photo

Hopefully a pre-puke photo

Happy MLK day, Bachelor fans! I hope you all had a nice, relaxing weekend. There’s nothing like getting 3 days off with the added bonus of a Bachelor night to top it off. Today, we did something even more exciting than wondering if Astrid’s boobs were going to spill out of her bra top during a running race. More thrilling, if possible, than jumping in a pink bouncy castle with a non-snoring Corinne. More monumental than watching Nick’s eyes tear up with the realization that this process is working for him – even if Vanessa currently scolded him in a naughty librarian kind of way by the end of the episode.

image1What did we do? The Husband and I took our 2 year old (almost 3) daughter to see her first movie. She’s obsessed with Disney’s Frozen. Elsa and Anna are her religion with a bit of Tangled and Finding Nemo thrown in. The Husband bought Ellie a Frozen karaoke machine for the holidays and Ellie will sit in her little step stool like a lounge singer belting out, “Let it Go.” Last week, desperate for a change of scenery for our ears, The Husband started showing Ellie some YouTube clips of Moana. She loved it. Today, we finally took the plunge of bringing her to a real live movie theater to see Moana. [Side note: I had no idea that the creator of Broadway’s Hamilton wrote many of the the songs in Moana!] With a 2 year old, you never quite know what reaction you’ll get. Would she be scared of the louder speaker system? Would she scream in middle and demand to leave? But Ellie was an absolute pro – she sat with this giant bucket of popcorn happily, alternating between that and “spicy soda,” which was her Sprite. She did ask me what my favorite color was about an hour into the movie, but quickly got absorbed back into the film. It was fantastic. (So were the Twizzlers and M&Ms). Not to worry, we cut her off at a reasonable point as if you can’t tell, this bucket was practically big enough to give her a bath in.

So back to Nick. It’s getting juicy, right? I think we’ve all recovered from the Liz exit. She didn’t seem to be a thought in anyone’s head 5 minutes after the opening credits.

There were a couple of women that attended the rose ceremony who I had no idea existed. One of them was sent home (a very pretty blonde – think it was Elizabeth from Dallas?). The other was Whitney – very tall, pilates instructor? I’m looking forward to narrowing down the field as I’m finding it hard to get beyond their looks and boobs. I can’t imagine how Nick’s feeling. Have the feeling that the weeping, 23 year old Hailey photographer will be back for Bachelor pad. Some of these girls are just so young for a 36 year old Nick. Corinne is just digging her own grave, slowly but surely. The whipped cream / trench coat mini date was absolutely ridiculous and amazing at the same time. The fact that she just goes straight to bed without attending the rose ceremony – I’m not sure that’s actually ever happened before. You’d think one of the producers would try to get her up. I mean, she didn’t even say goodbye to her bestie blonde friend Lacey who got the boot. And you know Lacey’s got to be thrilled that Nick kept the snoring sleeping whipped cream girl around, but sent her home.

Group Date #1 was clearing the best group date EVER. I loved how the Back Street Boys just showed up in the living room ready to be hugged. Even better was how many true fans they had amongst the contestants. I was also very impressed with how Danielle L (exotic beauty) managed to stay in the zone to defeat an actual professional dancer (Jasmine G) in a dance contest.  How awesome to get selected by the Back Street Boys for not only your dance moves, but your physical chemistry with Nick. When they got that “private?” dance together after, Nick did not hold back  one bit and went in for the kiss. You could practically feel Corinne’s gaze digging into Nick’s tongue during that moment. Is Nick told to just put it all out there to dangle his physical intimacy in front of the other girls? Couldn’t they have told the “losers” to get off the stage at least to give them some privacy in front of the 500 fans? Nick’s chemistry with Danielle L was the strongest we’d seen up until that point. Then when he took her aside at the after party, it was clear he was looking for some more Danielle lip smacking. I don’t think we know much about Danielle except she’s got great hair, a beautiful face and committed grandparents. Nick doesn’t seem to need to know much more than that.

Other amazing things we learned tonight:

  • 24 is never too old to have a nanny. Raquel might be the most sought after caregiver of all time. What nanny gets that kind of free advertising? Corinne has to be drunk to just freely talk about this type of stuff. Right? Or is she just that out of touch with reality to tell these girls that Raquel basically mothers here morning til night. Is she just making this up for the cameras? Being paid to say ridiculous things to make the other girls mad? I need a Raquel to take care of me like that btw. Also, what is the going rate to be a nanny to a 24 year old? Does she get annual raises? And what is she doing while Corinne is filming?
  • If you get in your head enough to feel the Bachelor owes you more time on Week 2 of dates, you’re going to be sent home. Dominique learned this lesson the hard way.
  • Astrid may work for a plastic surgeon, but those boobs were all sorts of flipping and flopping – leaving me to believe they were real. Anyone have a different opinion?
  • Pool parties with 1 dude and lots of good looking ladies are only fun if the solo dude doesn’t go running off to bounce around and get squat on by the house villain.
  • Puking on a date will not discourage Nick in the least. He likes to play the comforter role – we were all desperately hoping that Vanessa had brushed her teeth – but they made it abundantly clear that both were chewing gum before they kissed. Still wish we could have seen a tooth brush scene, but hey – Nick was not going to let a small thing like throwing up in an airplane get between him and his lady. I can’t think of anything worse than feeling nauseous enough to puke on a first date with a guy you’re really into. Major credit to both Nick and Vanessa for not letting a small thing like throw-up ruin their date.

Back to the dates:

Vanessa’s date looked like pure magic. The Husband and I cracked up watching them bounce around the plane like little kids (and in a much more natural / giddy way than the Corinne bouncy castle of lust). I can’t imagine how awkward it must have felt to be nauseous while on a date like that. I hate being nauseous. Vanessa is trying to make a good impression on Nick – and be attractive. Yet Nick couldn’t have been kinder or more nurturing. It was a great side of him that I was happy to see. Vanessa really appreciated it too and I like that she thanked him at dinner. He definitely must have thought a lot of Vanessa to reserve such a special date like that for her. Their conversation at dinner was definitely the start of a love fest. Nick tearing up and Vanessa digging deep to talk about her grandfather’s funeral – we know Vanessa is going far. I thought she was the ONE during this date. Their connection even surpassed the Danielle Lambada dancing. But Vanessa seems to be someone that you don’t mess with and her calling out Nick for “mounting?” Corinne and questioning whether he wants to find love or someone to mess around with certainly put him on the spot. I mean first off, it was Nick who was mounted, but I don’t think Vanessa cares about that detail. How far will Nick be allowed to explore his relationships physically before these women start lecturing him? Is Vanessa too rigid for him? Too mature? Maybe he does need a bit more carefree, lightheartedness and even fun in his romantic prospects? Still, Vanessa has a very valid point. If she wasn’t on a show where his job is to make out with ladies to see who he wants to marry. He just shouldn’t be doing it so publicly.

Before we continue – I just can’t wait to see what Corinne does next. She is like a gift you get to unwrap every Monday. What will Crazy Corinne come up with next week?? Also – thought it was amazing how she disappeared right after her interactions with Nick to just drop into a full blown sleep. Is the first Narcoleptic Contestant? Or is she just absolutely brilliant for keeping her eye on the prize? Why should she stay up to schmooze with the other ladies and drive herself crazy? Maybe going to sleep in between Nick interactions is her way of staying sane.

The track and field group date was amusing just to see the girls scrambling. Dolphin / Shark girl was actually super athletic and I liked seeing more of Rachel’s chemistry with Nick (both on the track and at the after party). Also, was happy they didn’t make all the “losers” leave immediately for the rest of the date. Not sure how Astrid ended up winning, but I think we have yet to hear an actual conversation between her and Nick. She is literally a brunette Barbie doll.

Other people, we don’t know much about: Jaimi (nose ring), Brittany (travel nurse), Sarah (petite, big lips) and Whitney (beautiful pilates instructor).

So it looks like there are some fireworks to come between Corinne and Taylor. That should be interesting – it’ll be like watching a Ellie get into it with one of her toddler friends that dares try to hold her Elsa doll. It’s funny how several of the girls are willing to tell Nick about their Corinne anger this early in the game. Don’t they usually just complain about it in secrecy and hope he finds out? Nick definitely has the “chummy” thing down and maybe that makes the ladies feel more comfortable to share information like this earlier in the process.

Last very important observations:

  • The Husband likes Raven and her accent. I’m a little scared of her, but her boobs were truly magnificent as was her canary yellow bikini.
  • Brittany, Christen and Alexis scream “friend zone” to me.
  • Josephine still absolutely terrifies me and I have no idea what anyone finds attractive about a nose ring through both nostrils, but that’s just me.

At this point, I’d say Danielle L, Vanessa and Rachel have the best chemistry with Nick. If the Corinne nonsense can be dialed back, then Vanessa might make it the whole way. Rachel seems too intelligent to be pining for Nick’s attention, though she hasn’t really needed to yet. She must be getting a one on one date next week. Vanessa is not taking any of this Corinne bull and might not be able to forgive Nick once this is all over. Whitney and Astrid are incredibly beautiful – but we know nothing about either of them.

What did you all think? Can’t wait to hear!! As always – you can follow me on Instagram (@OfficeStace) til next week :)

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Comments

  1. BCIslandGal says:

    So much hair, so many boobs and long legs! And Corinne – nightmare material. A nanny, a nanny! For a grown ass woman! WTF? OK maybe calling her a grown up goes too far. She is a very sad individual and while she says she runs a multi million dollar company her personal decisions are not sound – to say the least.
    I love Vanessa – I think it was Catherine Lowe that tweeted last night that Vanessa makes throwing up look classy. I’m Canadian so she is my number one choice by default :) I hope Nick wakes up and can think with his other head. Danielle is beautiful but I’m not sure how having your grandparents married for 50 years is relevant?? I had no idea who she was at the beginning of the episode. I’m still not sure I know anything about her.
    Chris Harrison was on Ellen last week and intimated that Nick does smarten up (post Chris pep talk) so there is hope!

    Stacey, your blog is one of my favourite parts of the season. Thank you for your funny and accurate observations.

  2. I had such high hopes for Nick. I mean I knew he couldn’t top Ben. But after BIP, I had hopes. Then it becomes all about “little Nick” rewarding and defending Corinne. Even in his blogs on People Magazine he defends Corinne and Chris Harrison calls her “refreshing” on his blog. Ughhhh. She’s an immature, pouty, spoiled little girl. I keep waiting for the “most dramatic” to start happening…so far it’s just been the usual Bachelor drama.

    DARLING picture of Ellie – love your blog. Thank you! :)

    • Cindy, I hear you! I found Corinne very immature – but mostly sad. The fact that one conversation with Nick sent her into tears just made me feel sorry for her. I think of her as a cartoon character at this point and am just entertained by her shameless strategy to throw herself at Nick. Thank you about Ellie’s pic :) She had a blast at the movies.

  3. Anonymous 4 says:

    Stacy,
    Tell me that bucket of popcorn was really for The Husband ! LOL It was as big as Ellie. How special…her first outing to a real movie theatre. Apparently she’s well-raised 😉 so well behaved. She only asked one question ?

    Apparently it is common to become nauseous when in zero gravity. It looked like fun and gave us a chance to see such a kind, nurturing side to Nick. He has almost redeemed himself again this episode. Vanessa may tame him after all !

    Thank goodness for the insufferable Corinne. Annoying and absurd she really is able to entertain (except when she’s pouting). She’s like a tornado. Nick becomes that ‘confirmed bachelor’ when with her. What woman could stand seeing that? You leave your job—everything and then wonder if he’s taking this seriously.

    Good thing there are some great dates & that the edit gives us just enough of Corinne to get the idea of how exasperating she is. Would Nick really want to settle down with an adult-child ? maybe ? Hmm…

    Those little tears from Nick also gave US reason to hope. That he really does want a serious, lasting relationship. Is that possible at his age after so many girlfriends and hook ups ? What is a man’s perspective? Everyone wants love but is everyone capable of commitment ?!

    Well, Stacy your blog is such fun. Although I’m nostalgic about the video blogs (hint, hint). You & the Husband are so much fun.

    A4

    • A4, I agree with everything you’ve said. Corinne is our little entertainment muse and you’ve got to believe that Nick knows she’s a bit “off.” He’s already held back with her slightly and doesn’t seem nearly as into her as he was into Vanessa or Danielle or even Rachel – far more classier ladies at this point.

      I would be fully nauseous during the Zero Gravity thing too. I hate throwing up and I can’t imagine having to feel that sick in front of someone you’re into.

      As for Ellie, we all shared her popcorn and soda (and candy) and yes, she could have used that popcorn holder as a booster seat (or bath tub or fake airplane), but it was all part of the experience. We were shocked that she sat for so long in that seat. She seems to be a true movie lover like her parents – especially her father.

      I will put in a request to The Husband for more Video blogs. It’s been a while but I always enjoy them as well.

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