In honor of being 27 weeks pregnant right now, I thought it was a perfect opportunity to introduce and discuss the 27 ladies who will be after Juan Pablo come “Juan-uary.” The 2 night premiere kick off starts Sunday, January 5th at 8 PM EST / 7 PM CST. Don’t forget to set your DVRs. I don’t know about you but now that Homeland, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Boardwalk Empire and a bunch of other fall shows are over, I’m anxious for something else to dig into. And since I’m shortly entering my third trimester, The Bachelor will come at the perfect time (except I think the finale will happen right about when I’m giving birth, so I’m wondering how long I can hold this thing in).
Before we get into the ladies, let’s recap Juan Pablo. He’s 31, a former pro soccer player from Barquisimento, Venezuela. He’s 5 foot 11 and hopes to be a famous sports or music agent in the next few years. He also has a daughter from a previous relationship.
Now onto the ladies. I didn’t go through every single one, but tried to hit the highlights.
Alexis, 24, Tampa, Florida. Her favorite book is the Bible. She’s petite. Very nice spray tan, bright white smile and shiny brunette wavy hair. She reminds me of the Hispanic version of Tenley. Alexis appears to be Cuban as she mentions her Abuela and Abuelo (Spanish for Grandmother and Grandfather). She also talks about wanting to do missionary work and educate others about being Catholic. I remember Tenley also wanting the same things (not sure if she’s Catholic, but she was adamant about doing missionary work). Perhaps Juan Pablo will appreciate this cute Cubana chica. Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 80%
Alli, 26 – a Nanny from Orland Park, Illinois. Alli is also Catholic (interesting that they are revealing the religion of these ladies straight up. Perhaps religion plays an important part of Juan Pablo’s life?) We know that Alli loves to play the piano and I foresee a solo concert to impress Juan Pablo happening within the first two episodes. I never know if “nanny” is short for “aspiring actress,” so be on the lookout to see if she really resides in the LA area. Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 50%
Amy J, 31, Massage Therapist from Apopka, Florida. She’s got super sharp bangs and loves the 4th of July because “it’s so romantic.” She hopes to not only find love during the show but “peace through time away.” Hmmmm, mysterious. Does she have a troubled past? Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 35% (not sure Juan Pablo is into bangs)
Amy L, 27, Local News Reporter, also from Florida. It’s going to get confusing as we already now have two Amy’s from Florida. This Amy has long gorgeous dark hair as well – perhaps she may be Latina? She’s used to being on camera as a news reporter, so she’ll have lots of presence, most likely. Pretty generic essays, but she’s pretty enough to stand out on looks alone and let’s face it, that’s all that counts on night one. Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 90%
Andi, 26, Assistant District Attorney from Atlanta, GA. We’ve got a lawyer, folks! She sounds competitive and she’s very pretty and also possibly Hispanic. Gorgeous dark hair and dark eyes. Again, based on looks alone, she will live to stay another week. Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 100% (but only if she doesn’t mention she’s a lawyer)
Ashley, 25, Teacher from Roanoke, Texas. Southern Belle here, Ashley is sweet as pie, but not sure she’s going to be able to take the drama of the other girls in the house. She likes to dress up and Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks (which adds to my sweetness theory). Ashley is looking for a husband, kids and to settle down (she doesn’t say this, but her essay answers seem to scream this). She’ll have to get tough if she wants to stick around. Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 30% (I have a feeling she may be too shy to stand out)
Cassandra, 21, Former NBA Dancer from Shelby Township, MI. She could be a model, but instead she’s a former professional NBA dancer. She’s likely too young to want to settle down and have kids (heck, she hasn’t graduated college yet, right?), but Juan Pablo will certainly enjoy figuring that out. Former professional sports dancers have a good track record on this show (Trista Ryan, Melissa Rycroft), so perhaps she’ll prove me wrong and become a leading lady. Either way, she’s a shoe-in for the first night. Let’s just hope Juan Pablo gets to see her dance. Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 100%
Chantel, 27, Account Manager. She’s from Miami (lots of Florida girls on this season!) and she’s our token woman of color. The name “Chantel” has also had success on this show, particularly on Brad Womack’s second season. She says that she’ s specifically interested in a relationship with Juan Pablo, so the real question is whether Juan Pablo is interested in a relationship with Chantel. She’s 5’10″ like Cassandra, so will be a striking vision on that first night. Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 95%
The Blondes. I don’t think that Juan Pablo will be much into blondes as I picture him with a voluptous brunette. So I’ve grouped the blondes together for now (I can do that because I am blonde). Worth mentioning in this cateogry – Christy, Kat and Nikki. All knockout, all American beauties. Nikki likes drunk dancing and is a nurse. She’s a shoe-in. Christy has gorgeous eyes and is striking looking. Kat has a great smile and seems confident. All these girls will likely get a rose on night one.
Lacy, 25, Nursing Home Owner from Antelope Acres, CA. Lacy grew in with an unusual family life. Her parents raised 11 kids, with 9 of them being mentally handicapped (assuming Lacy is not one of the 9). She must have a lot of patience and nurturing skills from her upbringing and her profession. Seems like a kind hearted girl. She’s cute too, and I hope Juan Pablo can get to know her. Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 45% Lauren H – I’m not sure what a 25 year old Mineral Coordinator actually does. She’s one of two Canadians this season, and she’s cute, though doesn’t have the long flowing hair that 90% of the other ladies has, so this lowers her chances of advancing. Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 25% Lucy, 24, Free Spirit. We’ve got a hippie nudist here, folks. Lucy is from Santa Barbara, CA and her best friend is Kate Upton, the hot blonde supermodel (better keep her away from Juan Pablo). She once organized a 50-person, fully nude dance party on a beach in Mexico. Wow, we are going to be into some crazy stuff. I feel like she’ll give Courtney Robertson’s “native” topless dance a run for her money. Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 110%
Sharleen, 29, Opera Singer from Ottawa, Canada. There will be singing, for sure with Sharleen. Her mother is Taiwanese, while her father may be Canadian? Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 55%
Valerie, 26, Personal Trainer from Sutter, CA. Valerie seems to like sports and the outdoors. I bet Juan Pablo would like that. Also, she likes to cook. She’s a Guy’s Gal. Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 60% Victoria, 24, Legal Assistant from BRAZIL. Ok, so we have a Brazilian Bachelorette this season and she’s cute. Her favorite movies are Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. She thinks her “independence” is her greatest achievement, which will make her all the more attractive to Juan Pablo. She’s also very into cats and “prefers to be more mysterious.” I’m already intrigued. Likelihood of Getting Past 1st Night: 100%
I’ll stop here, as I’m getting them all confused in my head. Any early favorites? Please remember that on this blog – NO SPOILERS!!! We want to be surprised and baffled and discuss the possibilities all season long. It is the best way to enjoy the show and it keeps us in suspense. This is essential since come January, The Bachelor will be my main source of entertainment other than labor and delivery classes with The Husband. We’re off to Puerto Rico tomorrow night! Will be checking in to hear your thoughts over the next few days. Enjoy your last couple of weeks off and get ready for an exciting Juan-uary!