Bachelor Nick Gets Grilled at Hometown Dates

Getting hot in Hoxie with Raven

Getting hot in Hoxie with Raven

It’s been a VERY long Monday, Bachelor Fans. Was this an actual federal holiday? It certainly didn’t feel like it at 7 AM when we woke up and declared it Day 1 of potty training for our almost 3 year old daughter. This was our second attempt at potty training since several months ago. We’ve got a stubborn little girl who screams bloody murder at the mere suggestion that she use the potty. Like we’re insulting her by proposing it as an option. She was going consistently for months before her bath about a year ago and then as soon as we tried switching her to the “big” potty, that was it. Never again. Today, there was a lot of screaming, tears, accidents and threats. And then my mother FaceTimed us and told us not to bother. That maybe she wasn’t ready. That there was no sense in torturing her. That was at 5 PM after literal hours of hell. I looked at Ellie who looked absolutely miserable from being forced to sit on a potty all day and had literally hid under our dining room table from The Husband and me to avoid going and wondered what the heck I was doing to her.

I immediately ceased the potty training, the screaming, the declarations that she had to go potty “or else,” and gave it a rest. We put on our shoes and went outside to walk to our local drug store to buy children’s bubble bath that Ellie picked out. Then we hit up Starbucks and the grocery store to pick out Dino-shaped chicken nuggets. I apologized to Ellie for screaming at her all day. I explained that I had been frustrated but that I was wrong to push her. I told her that when she was ready to use that potty, I would be there to help her. That she didn’t have to go just because everyone else was going. That it was ok to do it at her own pace. I’m already feeling a lot better and so is Ellie as she had the best bubble bath of all time. She decorated my face with bubble beards and our entire bathroom wall was covered in suds, but it was the happiest point of our weekend. Ok, back to Bachelor…

I can’t believe we’ve still got multiple weeks left of Nick Viall’s season of The Bachelor. Perhaps it’s because we’ve seen Nick on three previous season of this show or maybe it’s just the lack of any serious drama this season, but this has felt like a verrrry long season already. That said, the 4 remaining women could not be more different.

It’s really annoying watching Hometowns with the knowledge that one of these women is no longer in the running. I still HATE that ABC disrespected its fans to the point of releasing premature information about the next Bachelorette. Any interactions between this woman and Nick now seem like a waste of our time. Even wondering what went wrong between them seems pointless. And what’s so annoying is that their connection seems so effortless. Actually out of all the hometown dates I’d say they had arguably the best one.

So Hoxie, Mississippi seems a lot more fun with a friend like Raven around. Going muddin’ and climbing up grain containers might seem uninteresting but Raven somehow makes them charming, particularly when her brother plays a prank on their grain time. Her physical chemistry with Nick is probably the most palpable of the remaining 4. You could feel the love between Raven and her parents, particularly when he revealed his heart-warming cancer-free news. Even Nick teared up witnessing all of this. They had a picture perfect hometown date and I’m not sure why Raven regrets not telling Nick that she loves him – because she did tell him that. Remember when she let it slip a few episodes back? She was referencing her time with Nick in his hometown and how “that was the moment I fell in love with you.” So it’s not like he’s oblivious to her feelings. Still think Raven’s trip to Nick’s hometown puts in her in a much different state than the rest of the remaining women – he’s actually seen how well she got along with his family and little sister, Bella.

Rachel’s hometown date was both eye-opening and engaging on a number of different levels. Her family kept grilling him about whether he had ever dated another Black woman. Funny, I was thinking the same thing about Rachel – has she ever dated non-Black men?  They almost never discuss religion, politics or race on the show, but two of the three were discussed on this date. I’m not sure how Nick felt about being taken to a Black church – it looked like a very warm and welcoming community. Is this something that Nick sees as being part of his life? Would he feel comfortable joining an all-Black church if they end up settling down in Dallas? Have they had those conversations about where they would live? Rachel sounds like she has a legal career down in Dallas. For her to move elsewhere could require her to take the state bar of wherever she settles down.

Side note: Rachel’s younger sister, Heather, looked like she could have been a twin sister. I really liked Rachel’s smart mother (asking about red flags) and her older sister. Interesting that her older sister had married a Caucasian man – it sounds like they’ve had to face some real societal criticism of their interracial relationship. If Nick hasn’t been in an interracial relationship that was serious before, it might be hard for him to anticipate what kind of effect that might have on his relationship with Rachel.

I thought there was a repeated concern for at least half of these families regarding – what are Nick’s long term intentions professionally? It didn’t seem like anyone had had these discussions with Nick yet. Kind of scary as they are on hometowns. Not surprising for Corinne who hadn’t yet had a one-on-one date with Nick at this point. But seriously, what will Nick be doing after the show is over? Besides promoting Hello Fresh, sunglasses, teeth whitening and tea blends on his social media like every other Bachelor cast member? Because I think about what his life with Corinne would be like and have to cringe.

On the one hand, Corinne lives in a crazy fantasy world. She’s completely out of touch with reality. Can’t seem to have any sort of a deep conversation and yet, seems to still be living the lifestyle of a wealthy high school student. Comparing her “typical day” with Vanessa’s day is borderline laughable. And yet, is it bad to go shopping all day and spend $3000 on an outfit before drinking expensive whiskey with your father-in-law at your luxury Miami condo? It can’t be all that bad. Corinne wants to be his Sugar Momma and wouldn’t mind being the breadwinner. Nick could have a very easy going kind of life. He could even hire Raquel to help out with their future kids. I loved Nick’s comment about him being more of a bargain shopper.

I’ve got to hand it to Nick in being able to blend in to each of these very different ladies’ families and remain invested enough to ask each of their parents for permission to marry their respective daughters should they get to that point.

Then there was Vanessa’s hometown. Holy intense. It’s not just that Vanessa is a prolific, assertive, animated, sensitive human being of epic proportions. She’s on a different level than Nick altogether. It just seems like a Martian trying to date an Earthling. They’re in two different countries with two entirely different lifestyles. I think Nick is used to the big family thing with Vanessa’s mother’s side. But I don’t think he was used to the tough scrutiny her father put him under. I laughed out loud when the father asked whether he had asked the other women’s families the same question. Nick squirmed through that one! But ultimately, he seemed to get the ok from her dad. Though at that point it wasn’t clear if he wanted it. It was clear that him and Vanessa had not even talked about where they would end up if things worked out between them. I’d think this would be a pretty important talk to have considering they live in different countries and do entirely different things.

Vanessa just seems very Type A and assertive as everyone in her family was. I left their date feeling like she is an emotional cannon ball. So now she knows that he’s asking permission of all the other families too and her boyfriend has 3 other serious girlfriends. That is just not going to fly with someone like Vanessa. It could destroy her altogether.

So next week we’ve got to see what Obnoxious Annoying Andi has to say to try and prolong her 15 minutes of fame. Who needs her? The ratings, is my guess? Might as well have Kaitlyn show up too just to keep it interesting.

Ok, it’s late and we’ve got a long shorter week ahead of us. Will leave you with some side comments:

  • Corinne had alcohol at almost every point of her date with Nick from the champagne during shopping to the red wine she drank in bed with her dad while having a heart to heart. It’s really hard to figure out if she’s drunk or really serious about coming on this show to find love;
  • Loved watching Nick tear up when he saw Vanessa’s students’ reaction to seeing her. They really love her – she is like a hometown celebrity. She kind of had the feel of when the American Idol contestants go back to their hometowns and get treated like celebs.
  • I am sure there is some kind of rule about a federal judge not wanting to be on The Bachelor which is why we didn’t get to meet Rachel’s dad. Too bad because that would have been an AWESOME convo of him SCHOOLING Nick.
  • I wonder why Rachel didn’t show Nick anything about her job? No visits to her law firm?
  • Does Corinne live at home with her parents AND work with them? Talk about red flags. At least the Scotch will always be good.
  • Nick will use any excuse to take his shirt off. His Hoxie mud wrestling with Raven looked fun.

Anyone have a favorite at this point? I just can’t see him lasting with anyone other than maybe Raven…

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The Bachelor Nick Rejects Corinne’s Platinum Offer in the Bahamas

Corinne - about to say something ridiculous pre-vagine offering

Corinne – about to say something ridiculous pre-vagine offering

Is this the most depressing season of The Bachelor EVER? Is there any hope at this point that Nick will find lasting love with any of the women? I’m frustrated, Bachelor Fans. First off, on my way home from work this evening, The Husband texted me to say that ABC had announced the next Bachelorette. And not only that, but it’s one of the currently “active” women pursuing Nick. WHY THE HELL WOULD ABC DO THAT TO US? Don’t they have any respect for the true fans of this show who enjoy watching the journey and being kept in suspense??? Or does ABC just accept the fact that there are so many spoilers out there and they want to ruin anyone from exploiting them?

When they announced Nick as the next Bachelor on Bachelor in Paradise, it was annoying, but I was like – Ok, fine, it’s the side kick show. Annoying because I liked Jen and Nick together and still don’t completely understand why it didn’t work out (although now we know that Nick doesn’t like sweet pretty girls – he likes smart, spicy, passionate girls). But fine because there was also Lacey & Grant and nerdy Evan & Carley and crazy high energy Josh & Amanda to focus on too.

But ABC’s premature announcement is unforgivable. In case you haven’t seen it, I won’t ruin it here and I request that we not disclose it in the comments either if anyone out there has managed to avoid the news. I’m so disappointed that they would just throw out this information so early on in the process. This had to be a ratings ploy. Pure and simple.

As for tonight, I’m still ready to punch Nick in the gut for crying out his confusion / emotions to the ladies in a group format and basically making them feel unworthy of his facial hair, white teeth and weepy eyes. Also, on what planet does he view Corinne as an actual, legitimate, serious partner and potential wife over someone with the strength & beauty of Kristina or the kindness / genuineness of blonde Danielle. Did he not enjoy rubbing sunblock on Kristina’s inner thighs in front of Raven and Corinne enough? I’m so confused by his actions.

[Side note: Kristina’s last name is Schulman. Is her adoptive family Jewish?? Kristina Schulman is kind of a beautiful oxymoron name like Christina Schwartz or Christopher Goldberg, so now I’m more intrigued by her than ever.]

So let’s start from the beginning and try to sift through this mess together…

Weepy Nick feels bad because once promising relationships have turn to shit and now he’s freaking out that he can’t trust his own feelings. But then a little pow wow with Chris Harrison gives him the strength to continue on the journey (or whatever contract he signed with ABC). Fine.

So in he goes to apologize to the ladies for being a wuss. Also fine.

So this week, they jet out of St. Thomas immediately because THAT was the problem – a beautiful Marriott resort on a gorgeous Caribbean island. Forget about the fact that if you can’t make a connection in one of the most beautiful places on earth, you’ve already got issues. But hey, let’s leave it all behind and go to Bimini in the Bahamas. Literally get your bikinis, we’re going to Bimini? We’ve got 3 one-on-one dates and one group dates with Corinne in a bikini once again. Is there anyone who hasn’t seen Corinne in a bikini at this point?

I was waiting for Vanessa to reconnect with Nick. As soon as I saw their yacht, I prayed that she remembered anti-nausea meds. Can you imagine two dates of Nick cleaning up Vanessa’s motion sickness? So they have a very deep convo about how Nick is scared and how that made Vanessa scared and she thinks they’re all falling in love and decides to tell him only to find that he’s more confused than ever. Or holding back. Or whatever he is that he told her. Also, The Husband was convinced his body language was more than hesitant – he was borderline bored. I took it for pensive. Whatever. He just doesn’t seem over the moon in love like Carrie Bradshaw was for Big, you know what I mean?

Then the awful “let’s swim with sharks” group date. Who the hell in their right mind would go into shark infested waters? No thanks. And don’t tell me they are harmless if you leave them alone. Uhhh, why take the risk? Particularly once Nick jumps out of the water to comfort Kristina? Then you’re literally just shark bait. But Raven seems way too unbothered by Nick’s indifference towards both her and Corinne on this date. She does a lot of analyzing of how Nick must be dealing with being Bachelor and is a little too understanding in my opinion.

Meanwhile, watching Corinne’s every reaction is a little bit of comedy in this sad, sad season from the reflex blonde hair flick she does when Nick unexpectedly enters their home, to her reaction of not getting a one-on-one to her “freaking out” when she realizes that one more person needs to go home before group dates and it could very well be her.

Raven gets the group date rose and is the first to be guaranteed a home town. We’re going to Hoxie, Folks and I don’t think there’s anyone that actually cares. Except for Raven maybe. I don’t even think Nick cares. Also – it seemed like we saw very little of these dates. We saw the awkward conversation between Vanessa and Nick and then he takes her somewhere (to go weep together again?) but we don’t ever see where and next thing we know it’s the next morning. Same on group date – Nick makes out with Raven after giving her the group rose date and then boom, he takes her somewhere to make out to live music on the beach, but we don’t hear any more of them talking – we just see the Platinum Vagine wondering about her worth if Nick didn’t choose her (Guys, she’d give up diamonds to be with Nick!) and Kristina wondering what all the thigh rubbing was about if he didn’t choose her.

Then it’s blonde Danielle’s turn to charm (ahem, bore) Nick. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say to her. Only that they’re two kids from Wisconsin and since this is now his FOURTH season of the Bachelor franchise traveling the world, we can only assume that Wisconsin is the last place he wants to end up. I felt bad for Danielle because she’s probably just a quieter type and Nick sees that as a weakness that he can’t fall in love with. Run, don’t walk, back to Wisconsin, Danielle!

So then the MAIN EVENT that we all have been waiting for is upon us: Corinne dangling herself on a platter for Nick to eat up. We watch her primp and say ridiculous things to the camera. She must have Nick. She will have Nick. She’s a sexpert. She knows how to make men want her. The only positive thing we’ve learned from this insane attempt to seduce Nick is that he has learned from his past mistakes. He didn’t have a cheap Kaitlyn one nighter. He is definitely attracted to Corinne so it’s even more noble of him to reject her advances (or maybe thinks he could break her heart more easily after hometowns than risk getting murdered by an angry Kristina later on??). Though he may be going to meet her family without ever having a private date with her. Insanity.

Ok, so we’re on to Rachel and they seemed to have that magic chemistry that Nick’s been searching for. These two can’t keep their hands off each other. We were kind of hoping to see this with Vanessa more. Rachel is the only one who is holding back with her feelings at this point. She’s smart, confident and not in her head. She’s just enjoying the experience. She can’t contain her happiness (which is driving Corinne insane). She returns from her date all giddy and excited, sending Corinne into a tizzy.

Nick arrives to confront Kristina that he’s just not that into her. She’s shocked. We’re all shocked that he could actually prefer Corinne at this point. We’re not at all shocked that Corinne fell asleep.

Other thoughts and then I must go to sleep (there’s major political news tonight, I didn’t finish watching the Grammy’s and I’ve got Girls, The Walking Dead, Homeland and SNL to catch up on!):

  • Does Corinne’s breath stink like cheese when she kissed Nick after stuffing her face with cheese?
  • Why did Corinne go through the closed glass door entry to the Hilton after getting rejected by Nick instead of the open sliding glass doors?
  • All the girls seem to really support and like each other – and see Corinne as like the house pet. I don’t think we’ve seen a house that likes each other this much in a while – and all despite some of the mean things Corinne has spouted about the other girls.
  • Is Vanessa just simple and boring like Corinne proposes?
  • Are you kind of just a little bit curious to meet Corinne’s family and her nanny / housekeeper?? I am.
  • Is Nick remotely interested in a long term relationship with any of these girls? When Vanessa poured her heart out to him and his only response was a long speech about why he likes her but wants to take things slow – I almost gagged. That’s the last thing you want to hear when putting your heart out there.
  • Raven has HUGE boobs.
  • What happened to Vanessa after her one on one date? We literally never see her again in any of the other scenes. So odd.
  • Why does blonde Danielle have to go back to the villa and collect her things after getting dumped? Couldn’t the crew have done that for her? There are other times when the Bachelor unexpectedly sends someone home (like Danielle L) and she doesn’t have to go home and cry to the other girls. I’m not sure what the purpose of all that is except to depress us more.
  • Is it just me or is this a gloomy season that I’m feeling like Nick is absolutely neutral about? I mean come on – you’re the Bachelor – be happy. Show a little excitement. Give us something to work with. I feel like he’s playing eeny meeny miny mo on whom he picks and rejects.

I can’t even tell you my favorite anymore, because they all seem mismatched with Nick?? What do you think?

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Corinne to the Rescue? Things Go South in St. Thomas on The Bachelor

Danielle L: latest crash & burn

Danielle L: latest crash & burn

I can’t believe the success of The Bachelor this season may be riding on Corinne’s lady parts to boost Nick out of his funk. Happy Monday, Bachelor fans. Three people at work asked me what I did this weekend. Other than staying up to watch the end of the exciting Super Bowl and wondering how to get a pair of Lady Gaga’s suspension cables to avoid using the terrifying elevator in my apartment building, I couldn’t remember much. I did manage to make turkey chili for the game and nobody got food poisoning or died, so I consider that a success.

So tonight’s show was a train wreck from start to finish. Crash and burn #1 was Taylor’s staged revenge march to let Nick know the truth about Corinne. You could even feel Nick’s annoyance that he had to disengage from Corinne’s pouty lips to let Taylor plead her case in futility. I know Taylor was trying to make a point, but all I could hear was “Sour Grapes. Sour Grapes. Sour Grapes.” Enough about Taylor. She’s too young and immature to settle down with anyone at this point.

We said goodbye to Dolphin Girl Alexis who was very sweet, but definitely in the Friend Zone. Also Jaimi the bi-sexual lady and Josephine who scared me.

So then we move on to Kristina’s one on one date. At this point, we can conclude the following about Nick’s interest in women:

  • He’s not interested in “sweet” and “vanilla” girls. He wants a woman with a little sass to her. Opinionated. Street smart.
  • He’s not interested in a polite, easy relationship. He even described what he was looking for to Danielle L as “raw.” I think that means someone who challenges him, who knows his flaws and loves him for them anyway. Kind of like how Vanessa gave it to him for his actions with Corinne in the Castle of Lust and how Rachel was basically like – I was ready to go home because I was not feeling like myself.
  • The remaining women are all brown eyed and he’s definitely into brunette petite types (with the exception of other blonde Danielle who is very tall and therefore likely going home).

So back to the dates. Kristina definitely has the extra spice to her step. Turns out, she’s got a pretty horrific back story. Now, I’m not a therapist or psychiatrist, but I can only imagine the kind of damage that must be done to one’s psychological state to have basically been emotionally abused by one’s mother. That’s what happened to Kristina, right? So she willingly leaves her mother (or gets kicked out??) to go to an orphanage and her mother doesn’t come after her or realizes she made a mistake?? How horrible is that?! And then after living with all her new Russian co-orphans, she then chooses to go to the US but can never make amends with her mother because she died? And her sister ended up living with her father? And all the while her options are a) be a homeless kid b) leave the orphanage to become a prostitute in Russia c) give up the safety of her friends around her to go live somewhere completely unknown with people she’s never met? Talk about BAGGAGE!

So we know Kristina’s had to overcome a lot but what we don’t know is how does this affect her ability to love another human being? Can she trust anyone? If she feels jealous or insecure, how does she react? Because it’s all islands and roses on The Bachelor, but how does she deal with hardship? I need to know these things if I’m going to invest in Kristina. I hope Nick is kicking the tires on this one – I’m slightly terrified of how dark things can go if she’s having a bad day. The Husband thinks she might double as a secret assassin. I could see it.

The group date was Crash and Burn #2. Might this be the worst group date in Bachelor history? I’m not sure where things went wrong. But I think when you don’t have an actual activity planned and the idea is to sit around and have a “chill” day when you’re fighting for time with the same guy – bad things are bound to happen. Like who wants to play sand volleyball with and against the women you’re competing with? Wouldn’t you rather have that time to bond with Nick? Vanessa is right that she’s really not getting to know him and spend that essential quality time that’s needed to figure out if Nick is her person. I was frustrated for all of them.

Jasmine’s behavior was just tough to watch (Crash and burn #3). She’s been slowly spiraling out of control and you kind of just watch her go down that road like there’s nothing that can be done. Her one on one conversation with Nick was the biggest disaster of the season. On the one hand – she has a point – Nick HASN’T given her any one on one dates or group date roses. How is she supposed to have any validation from him? She has a right to be frustrated. All she has is time to think about what could be between them. On the other hand, she’s so angry by the time she actually talks to him that it just unleashes itself like frustration vomit. Her whole “I want to choke you” rage came off as awkward and creepy, especially when she started making sexual references to choking him?? This is way beyond me, but it was going somewhere Nick didn’t want it to.

The only calm one during the night was Raven. I think Rachel casually mentioned that Raven got the group rose date. She’s the voice of reason. I’m wondering why we didn’t see Raven get the group rose (too much foreshadowing??). Raven doesn’t seem to let her nerves get the best of her. She’s already confessed the “L” word to Nick – so she’s gotten it out there that she’s in it to win it.

Then we get to the two on one date. I was wondering when we’d actually see who the heck Whitney was. I still know nothing about her. She is, like Nick says, absolutely beautiful. But as we learn, she’s only 24 years old to Nick’s 36 and we see a bit of the immaturity when she starts questioning Nick’s interest in Danielle after Whitney is dumped. Nick wisely tells her it’s not about Danielle, it’s about his relationship with Whitney. Nobody buys it, but we give Nick props for coming up with such a compelling argument on the spot.

Then we get to what is probably the low point of Nick’s breakups. Poor, innocent, sweet, open and honest Danielle. She’s pretty, she’s upbeat, she’s got a nice giggle to her. This is her kiss of death. Nick just can’t bring back that loving feeling from Date #1 with Danielle. When Danielle (are they calling her D Lo?) confesses (in almost a yawn state) that she’s falling for Nick, he couldn’t look more sleepy. Or unenthused. Which has to really be feeding Danielle’s confidence. So he looks into her pretty brown eyes and tells her he wishes it were her, but his heart doesn’t agree. Sure, blame it on your heart. At least he’s not blaming it on his penis. But he kind of is.

What I can’t understand is Nick’s dramatic, Oscar worthy, melodramatic outpouring of tears and despair to all of his women COLLECTIVELY. Like sure, pull one or two aside and tell them how he had a shitty 2 on 1 and now he’s worried that all his relationships will go to hell. But to go and have a group confessional to air your dirty laundry of what’s in your head? This is definitely one that he should have slept on. You know how you’re never supposed to send an email or put anything down in writing when you’re upset? This is one of those situations.  Because how will these women react? The guy they’re taking away time from their lives to pursue is an emotional wreck and isn’t sure the process will work for him. So why exactly should any of them stay one more minute???

Pull it together, Nick.  We need something a little more positive and enthused to watch. Right now, the most entertaining part of this season is watching Corinne say ridiculous things like her nanny Raquel would be jealous of the caretaker in the hotel at St. Thomas. It’s got to get better, right?? So I know this sounds insane and like we’re grasping at straws here, but Corinne seems to be one of those light hearted people who can lift Nick out of his death march. He seems to always be in a good mood around Corinne and perhaps what Nick needs right now is pure old chemistry. A spark. Something or someone that excites him and can put his faith back in the process that the journey is worth it after all. Now I’m not saying that Corinne will be the person standing there at the end, but she certainly makes him feel good and that’s what we need right about now.

Who are our frontrunners now? I have to go with Raven, Rachel and Corinne’s boobs.

What do you think??

T118-vSide note, if you want this adorable Bachelor inspired t-shirt, go to the website here: http://www.tandjdesigns.com/will-you-accept-this-rose-tee/ and enter in your code: STACEY15 for a 15% discount off the entire site.

You can also find me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/OfficeStace (@OfficeStace)

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The Battle of the Wits Takes Over New Orleans on The Bachelor

Colorful Corinne

Colorful Corinne

Guys, it’s been one of those days. I have a headache. Work is stressing me out in all directions. It’s long days and short sleeps. I need a vacation. Or maybe I need to slip into the Bachelor world and lose myself for a few weeks. I mean, what does Nick Viall do for a living that he can just disappear for 4 separate Bachelor productions? Does he have someone else paying his bills? I’m sure he got paid to be Bachelor, but how much did he get paid to be on all his previous seasons? I’m actually jealous of Nick. He’s figured out how to make it work and he doesn’t seem stressed at all. I’m stressed. UGH.

Also, the Husband and I managed to accomplish the actual dumbest thing we’ve ever done together as a couple. Ready for it? I only reveal this so you can avoid repeating this in your own lives: Ellie’s school is having an auction this week. We won’t be attending since work is absolutely insane for me these days. Anyhow, you can still participate in the auction online and bid on items. Yesterday, the bidding began. As I mentioned in my previous blog post, I was in an all day meeting yesterday and received an email that the auction was open for bidding. I immediately went into the website for the auction and put bids on a Disney on Ice show and Bruno Mars concert tickets. Then I sent a quick text to the Husband saying, “Bid on Disney on Ice and Bruno Mars.” A few minutes later, I get emailed that I was outbid for both events. Well then, I went back in and bid higher. But then I got outbid again.

An hour later, my husband sends me a text that I should “stop bidding!” because the head of Ellie’s school called to say that The Husband and me are actually bidding against each other online. Like full on driving up the cost of the events we want because we’re the two biggest morons who ever participated in an online auction.

Don’t be like us.

So I’ve had 24 hours to understand what the F Taylor was talking about with “emotional intelligence.” I think Nick summarized it best in his People.com blog today:

“When you strip it down, it became clear that Taylor believed Corinne lacked the emotional maturity to get married or really to be dating me at all.”

But then Nick goes on to say something very telling about his opinion of Taylor and why he ultimately chose Corinne:

“From my point of view, Taylor either wasn’t self-aware enough to understand how she was coming across or she thought that I wouldn’t notice. Either way, it just felt like at this point that Taylor was too fixated on proving to me that Corinne wasn’t right for me rather than focusing on our relationship. Giving Corinne the rose had just as much to do with saying goodbye to Taylor as it was to validate my relationship with Corinne. After a pretty intense day, I was looking forward to some one-on-one time with Corinne.”

Pretty strong words from an otherwise neutral Nick, right? Basically, Taylor was seen to be a young, immature, know-it-all. And Nick liked Corinne’s boobs better.

So what else did we miss from last night? Other than Taylor and Corinne, it was pretty blah. New Orleans is great, but it’s a city that’s been visited multiple times before on previous seasons. Other than Astrid getting rejected to start the episode off and nobody (not even Nick) caring remotely, the only other event of significant event was Rachel and Nick’s date. I loved their second line dancing, how easy their chemistry was and also seeing Nick’s moves. Rachel is clearly extremely smart and I loved how she scared Nick by telling him straight out that her father is intimidating. Can’t wait to see that hometown. Can you imagine getting grilled by a federal judge?? I’d insert a political statement here, but I’m so sick of politics right now and it stresses me out even more to watch the news so let this blog and show be our safe escape for a tiny fraction of the day before we go back to fighting battles.

The group date was a bit ridic. I mean, that haunted house was a set, right? With things moving all around and the lights flickering and a timer ready to go that drops a chandelier when you pick up one of the items the caretaker tells you not to touch. Right? I was feeling bad for Raven who dropped the “L” bomb on Nick by accident. She was cute about it, but then Nick didn’t reassure her by giving the group rose date to blonde Danielle. I still don’t see the sparks between tall Danielle and Nick.

I’m still loving Alexis and her insane fear of Nicholas Cage. She cracks me up. Nick said he ordered that Nicholas Cage mask on Amazon as soon as he found out Alexis is scared of him. Funny.

The other Danielle (brunette) seems very sweet, but not sure Nick is as into her as some of the other girls. He was making out with all of them last night. It’s actually impossible to tell who he likes most when he’s got his tongue down everyone’s throat. I don’t know – I’m actually at the point of being grateful for Corinne because she keeps things interesting. Yes, it’s like watching 8 year olds fight, but at least it’s drama and Corinne’s always good for a laugh.

That’s about all I got tonight. At this point, I think Rachel’s got the lead, with Raven and Vanessa trailing behind. We haven’t heard a thing about Whitney, who is beautiful even if she says nothing. The Danielles are sweet but I don’t feel the passion with them. Alexis is Friend Zone. Russian girl is cute and spunky but could be a spy or might just be trying to hang around to become next Bachelorette. No idea what Josephine or Jaimi (nose ring) are still doing there.

What did you guys think? Anyone have their own take on what the hell Taylor was talking about? Did she really expect Corinne to just agree with her or was she just trying to be cruel or was this a poorly executed counseling session? I have no idea what the purpose of that conversation was. It’s still troubling me. But not as much as bidding against my husband on the same items in a school charity auction.

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The Bachelor Hits New Orleans, I Hit the Sheets

Is Nick kind of hoping one of these ladies will get attacked by an alligator so the tension is gone?

Is Nick kind of hoping one of these ladies will get attacked by an alligator so the tension is gone?

Bachelor Fans, Forgive me. I left my apartment this morning at 7:15 AM, got home at 9:40 PM after being at an all day work event and have literally just now finished Bachelor. My eyes aren’t functioning properly to even see this screen.

There were so many amazing things that deserve proper attention – like Rachel & Nick’s off the charts chemistry (and you know if Rachel isn’t the ONE, she may be our first African American Bachelorette!!), Corinne’s master manipulation and me wondering the whole show whether my emotional intelligence has declined significantly since watching Taylor and Corinne fight about emotional intelligence.

To be continued tomorrow…

Xoxo,

Stacey B

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Whisked to Wisconsin: The Bachelor Takes His Ladies Home

Corinne Lecture in Progress

Corinne Lecture in Progress

New York City is having a Nor’easter this evening, and Nick Viall’s ladies don’t seem to be faring much better. Talk about dramatic, I got trapped in my apartment building’s elevator on Saturday morning at 7 AM braless, in my pajamas and had to call 911. I was eventually able to get out, but had to walk 22 stories down holding my dog. Thank goodness Ellie wasn’t with me. I was in pure panic mode for about 7 minutes and I don’t want to ever go back there.

Speaking of panic mode – I am still shuttering thinking about Taylor explaining to Corinne what “emotional intelligence” is. Did that conversation really happen?

But let’s rewind.

We start off in the heat of Awesome Vanessa’s calling out of Nick’s shenanigans in Corinne’s bouncy tent of lust. Vanessa isn’t scared of anything. She may have thrown out her boldest move yet by threatening to give the rose back if Nick isn’t serious about this process. She asks him point blank – is he looking for a wife or someone to f-k around with? GREAT QUESTION, Vanessa! We’re all wondering the same thing too. Sure looks like he’s having fun. Doesn’t Nick know he can’t have his bouncy house, a topless Corinne and private whipped cream moments if he’s looking for a wife? Vanessa has gone where no Bachelor lady has gone before – she’s announcing her self-worth by indicating that she actually has a choice in this process. She can choose to leave! But she doesn’t…

And of course we already know that Nick is going to keep Corinne because the previews have promised her seduction of Nick to “explore each other sexually” and a fight with Taylor. So nobody is surprised at all when she gets the rose, even if it was last to be more dramatic. It seems that Nick has been sending home the “nice” “cute” girls like Christen, who Liz confided in about her prior relations with Nick.

When Brittany started speaking after she got cut, The Husband was like, “Wow, that’s too bad. She seems really cool and normal.” Of course the longer she started speaking, the more upset she got and she eventually burst into tears. Then The Husband said, “Yeah, ok, I get it.”

Meanwhile, is there any girl who didn’t want to slap Corinne across the face for making a speech after the rose ceremony about how this was all about finding love and how you had to go after it and be yourself? She is so feeding these girls’ flames. I think Corinne is a lot smarter than she lets on. She’s pushing all the right buttons on them.

So the girls are all excited to go to Wisconsin – you can just see the glow in their false eyelashes and foundation when Chris Harrison announces their first destination (not really). BTW, the fresh-faced version of some of these girls makes them unrecognizable! So my thoughts on Danielle L – she is a very sweet, easy to talk to kind of girl – easy going, upbeat, beautiful. But I got the sense that Nick was trying to dig deep with her and came up short. If you remember from Andi Dorfman’s season with Nick, she said that her conversations with Nick were some of the deepest, most intellectual she’s ever had with anyone. I just don’t see that happening with Danielle. L This doesn’t make her a bad person – I think he’s just interested in connecting on a level that she may not possess. (This is why I think he clicked with Vanessa so well). The Husband thinks that Nick was very interested in her dress on the evening portion of their date. I mean, why doesn’t she just serve up her two friends on a platter? That’s what the dress said to me, but good for her. She’s pulling out all sorts of tactics. I support her being supported.

What did you make of Nick and Danielle L running into his ex girlfriend? Is there any way that wasn’t planned? I feel like there is this show going on called The Bachelor which is about finding an appropriate wife for Nick. Then there’s also this sort of side show going on which is intended to make us like Nick. Am I crazy? Or are we being given a little bit of propaganda by watching touch moments with Nick’s parents and them cheering Nick on with him having tears in his eyes? Or what about Nick’s support of his adorable little sister Bella during soccer? Perhaps ABC is betting that if the grander audience grows to love Nick, their ratings will go up too. Makes sense. And I’ll drink the Kool-Aid a bit – I admit his pow-wow with his parents was rather touching.

The farming group date was definitely amusing. Jaimi the nose ring girl now has straight hair and proved that she knows how to work a nipple. Maybe she dated a new mom at some point or maybe she’s used to milking things. Who knows? Corinne’s whole song and dance about how she had to sit out because of bad circulation to her hands (she almost ended up in the hospital, Guys!) reminded me of when Ellie gets bored at ballet class and simply lays on the floor (cheek to hardwood) refusing to get up. They never did show us any sort of engagement by Nick to get to the bottom of Corinne’s walking away from the shit. Perhaps she was being symbolic (She won’t deal with the shit happening around her? There’s a shitstorm in town and she won’t participate?). You know Nick had to go see if she was ok and I’m sure she explained herself in her cutest Corinne baby voice.

So now we are on to the mysterious, dark haired Raven. She may be our dark horse. And I’m not just saying that because she has dark hair. Nick’s dad seemed into her saying that the name “Raven” suits her. I think Nick was very intrigued by Raven to have her on this special date. She is the first to meet his family and little sister (note: Juan Pablo took now ex-fiance Nikki Ferrell to meet his parents on their first one on one date). They looked like they had an absolute blast at the roller skating rink and who knew that Nick was an amazing skater? They looked like they were having the equivalent of a Dirty Dancing moment together. I feel like Raven wasn’t really on the radar before tonight but she is very much in the game. She’s different from the rest of the girls, but she’s smart and Nick knows it. I liked her chat with Bella, who was fully vetting her for Nick.

My eyelids are getting heavy, but I feel it only right to devote a little time on this blog to the infamous Corinne. Last week I found her to be very sad. This episode, it was a mixed bag. Yes, she’s absolutely over the top talking about her nanny, complaining about being on the farm and shoveling “poopy.” Yes, she’s immature and completely overdramatic in almost every opinion that she addressed. That said, shouldn’t these girls just focus on their relationships with Nick? They are all clearly threatened by Corinne. The only ones who have managed to ignore it completely are Vanessa (who rightfully told Nick that she holds HIM accountable, not Corinne), Rachel (who doesn’t even think twice about Corinne) and Raven (who gleefully celebrates that not only did she get a one on one this week, but that Corinne DIDN’T get it).

A number of girls confronted Corinne this week. First it was a joint endeavor by Sarah and Taylor. It failed. Next came the Russian Kristina who set Corinne off. Then there was the group discussion led by Corinne where she called everyone out for talking about her behind her back. An admirable attempt to clear the air, but it also failed as everyone Sarah questioned her maturity and readiness to be married. The finale was the conversation with Taylor. Now Corinne has been completely ridiculous but Taylor came off as mean, condescending and immature herself. Not her best look as a new mental health counselor. Clearing Taylor is threatened by Corinne or nobody would pay her any attention. This is a 23 and a 24 year old having it out and Taylor’s defining for her emotional intelligence. I actually was on Corinne’s side for this showdown. Call her crazy and childish, but Corinne has something that Nick is interested in (or two things). She definitely brings an element of sass and the unknown.

We’ll have to wait until next time to see how this blow out fight turns out. What do you think? Who’s on the list and who is off? Nick is certainly into brunettes. The Russian Kristina, Whitney, Astrid, Danielle L, Vanessa, Alexis and Raven are all dark haired beauties. Of everyone else, I think Vanessa, Raven and Rachel are in the top 3 position with Danielle L in a close 4th. The other Danielle (blonde), whom he had his first date with, I believe is being surpassed by his other relationships. Also, did anyone see how TALL she is compared with the other girls? She seems to be taller than Astrid.

Hope to hear from all of you. Please check out what else I did this weekend with Ellie on Instagram: (www.instagram.com/OfficeStace)

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