Chad Tells All on The Bachelorette

JoJo vs. Chad

JoJo vs. Chad

I’m plugged into Bill Clinton right now, so it’s hard to concentrate on the circus that just erupted before us on The Bachelorette’s Men Tell All tonight. So former Santa Claus guy was ready to fight Chad right there on the stage? What did he think was going to happen?

The sad thing is that 80% of the episode was about Chad and only 20% about JoJo. I don’t even care to discuss Chad – he’s just so out there and really, who cares? I mean, yes, it’s intriguing to try to understand why on earth he’d be dating Grant’s ex and Robby’s ex  at the same time? And he’s been intimate with both of them? How does this happen? And that ridiculous meat-eating thing going on throughout tonight’s show – completely staged and gross.

What did stick out from all the Chad fiasco was his final one-two punch to JoJo – wishing her the best of luck, but telling her that Robby dumped his girlfriend days before going on the show and stating that Jordan was a cheater and that’s the reason his brother doesn’t want to speak to him. OY. Playing on JoJo’s biggest fears about these guys was just plain nasty. Chad loves playing the villain.

I liked JoJo’s interactions with Luke and Chase. They both seem pretty in love with her still and ready to take her back if she had asked. They were certainly grooming Luke to be the next Bachelor. The way Chris was asking if he was ready to move on and fall in love – he might as well have been asking him if he was ready to be the next Bachelor.

JoJo looked beautiful tonight as she always does. I really hope that she’s happy no matter what decision she makes. Of course, I’m still not so secretly hoping that she chooses nobody so that she can be our next Bachelorette again. If that can’t happen, I’m hoping Ben H will come back and beg for her to take him back.

Alright, back to Bill now. Don’t forget – 3 hour finale next Monday followed by the premiere of Bachelor in Paradise on Tuesday!

xoxo,

Stacey

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The Bachelorette JoJo Rejects Two Men After They Declare Love For Her

Enjoy this, Chase, because this is as close to Jojo as you're going to get today

Enjoy this, Chase, because this is as close to Jojo as you’re going to get today

I’m not sure if it’s hotter in Thailand or my NYC apartment right now. It was a Thai schvitzfest of epic proportions. So sweaty, in fact, that Jordan and Robby had matching sweat cloths to wipe their foreheads at the rose ceremony. It was painful watching poor Chase in a long sleeved shirt at their dinner while he’s trying to say romantic, sweet somethings to JoJo. His entire face was dripping in sweat and he had to be angry hot in that button down.

Let’s rewind to the beginning, or really the end of last week.

So she didn’t want to sleep with Luke…

Have you ever seen a contestant look more shell shocked than Luke did? I mean he made her a heart out of flowers in his hometown and declared that JoJo had his heart. Then he froze the rose ceremony next to the airplane that would take them to an island to have sex for the first time (as well as sex with 2 others) to declare his love for JoJo. Perhaps that’s JoJo’s breaking point – men telling her that they love her. I believe Chase is actually the THIRD person that she dumped after hearing those words. First was Lil Alex. Second was Luke. Third is Chase. At least she’s got a good gauge. Robby and Jordan have said this to her and she doesn’t have that gut “GROSS” reaction. Good sign for them. Sad for Luke and Chase.

Ah well, I thought she might have changed her mind about Luke while sobbing her eyes out but by the next morning after a parade of tears,  JoJo’s had an outfit change and a new attitude. Luke seemed swept away in the past…all primped and primed to be the next Bachelor, perhaps? He was completely blindsided. The Husband kept saying that Luke’s face just got hit by a train. He was in total shock. Even JoJo’s voluptuous boobs were pounding around in agony in that blue dress. Did anyone win in that situation? What was the plane ride like after she was just bawling over her decision to send Luke. She says she “misses him already.” But how long did that feeling last? What was his downfall? I think she knew how he felt about her. A few comments about this episode:

  • I absolutely loved JoJo’s outfits again this week. I truly believe that she only had a rose ceremony after breaking up with Chase so she could sport another hot dress. I mean that dress deserved its own rose.
  • Is JoJo going braless in some of those tops? Her chest was really testing the limits of her crop tops.
  • Does JoJo always put her hair up AFTER having sex with someone? Like a symbol of true intimacy – she’s been intimate so instead of letting her hair down, she does the opposite? She had messy hair to eat breakfast post-overnight.
  • I’m pretty sure Robby killed all opportunity for Chase. He’ll see that when he watches tonight. Chase and JoJo had a picture perfect day date – they were all over each other and seemed to have such an easy back and forth between them – something she doesn’t seem to share with the others. All Robby can talk about is how much he loves JoJo. All Jordan can do is try to convince JoJo (though unconvincingly) that he’s in it for the long run. Chase and JoJo can actually enjoy themselves and enjoy the moment. It felt very natural after the day date they had for Chase to declare his love for JoJo. Nothing had changed on his end – the only thing that changed was Robby showing up to remind JoJo that she’s dating multiple dudes. She even looked so lit up from her time with Chase when Robby arrived. She was literally mid-date. Not fair. Interesting how Chase came back to tell JoJo that his heart will be left there for her. (in other words, when she chooses someone and it doesn’t work out, he’ll be the back up).
  • I didn’t like Jordan’s response to what the next year would look like for him and JoJo. He couldn’t verbalize or visualize a future where he’d move or she’d move. All he could say is that he wasn’t sure and they’d figure it out. I don’t like that answer and as much as JoJo has completely fallen head over heels for Jordan – I think she rightly has sniffed out that Jordan is a wild card.
  • Isn’t Chase the only one that has a job? I know Jordan is looking into a sports media career of some sort, but shouldn’t his desire to be with JoJo take priority? Wouldn’t he be traveling and isn’t that exactly what JoJo doesn’t want to get involved with considering this would surely result in a long distance relationship for the indefinite future? I don’t like the odds of their survival should she choose him.

Things I wonder about:

  • Are all the guys staying at different hotels? Do they hang out with each other during the day or are they kept in isolation? How can JoJo just go from one intense date to the next and be fully vested in it?
  • Did JoJo have extensions put in for her dates? For her first date, she had exceptionally long hair and then she didn’t. Going to say YES to this one.
  • What was it that turned off JoJo about Luke exactly? Was it the surprise party he threw her on his hometown visit? Did she not get enough intimate time with him to feel close to him? Did he not have a big enough hair bump like Robby and Jordan? Whatever it was, she wasn’t drinking the Luke Elixir.
  • Is JoJo thinking about Robby while with Jordan and vice versa?
  • Was it right for JoJo to invite Chase into the fantasy suite if she wasn’t in love with him at that point? Was she hoping something would change? I think she was going through the process of figuring out everything she could with Chase with the time she had.

Ok, apologies, but am now getting sucked into the Democratic National Convention circus. The First Lady is speaking. Gotta run :)

More tomorrow.

Xoxo,

Stacey

 

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Everyone’s In Love With JoJo on Bachelorette Hometowns!

Luscious Luke, but did he confess his love too late?

Luscious Luke, but did he confess his love too late?

I can’t believe they kept us hanging like that. This had to be one of the most riveting hometown date episodes we’ve had in a very long time. JoJo could not have been more adorable, more “girl-next door,” more likable / charming / gorgeous and warm. How could every guy and family not just welcome her with open arms? Yes, I want every outfit she wore tonight immediately and the body / boobs/ legs to go with it. And the cowboy boots and especially the beautiful purple / white romper she wore on the Robby date. Can we all just morph into JoJo right now and wear her around all day? I am obsessed.

I interrupt this blog post to tell you that my college friend Jodi just posted on my Facebook wall the following quote, “The relationship I am most intrigued by this season is the one between Jordan and his brother Aaron Rodgers.”

Very true. What the HELL happened to drive the famous Aaron Rodgers away from his family? In doing some digging online, I couldn’t come up with much except that it seems that the entire family is estranged from the famous football player. Very odd, but this actually makes a questionably metrosexual (borderline smarmy?) Jordan at least be his own person – not riding any coattails of his brother’s success. He’s got that going for him. Now what does Jordan do for a living exactly? What do ANY of these guys do? We’ve got a former competitive swimmer (what does that mean?), an almost professional football athlete, a war veteran (is he working now?) and a Medical Sales rep. Are these all covers for trust fund kids? Independently wealthy? Does it even matter once you’ve seen the size of JoJo’s parents house? I really hope we get to see it again. It was bigger than Jordan and Robby’s ridiculous hair bump combined.

Some thoughts on the hometowns:

(1) I was super emotional during the Chase hometown. Who knew I cared this much? I’d pretty much given up on Chase. He seems too inarticulate, I never got the warm fuzzies between JoJo and him. But after hearing about his parents’ divorce and then basically having the most intimate conversation EVER between a son and a father right there for the world to hear on camera regarding why his father got divorced, we really got to see why Chase is the way he is. Now we know that JoJo loves to lift people up and be a wet blanket for them. I felt a little bit of this with her connection to Chase. Like she was nursing him into letting his guard down. Only as their date continued, her interest in him became that much more intense. By the time we got to his mother’s house (a completely different feel than the father interaction though he seemed like a nice enough fella) we entered into a loving, tight knit family that welcomed JoJo with open arms. That’s when I was starting to be into Chase a bit. Watching JoJo speak to his mother could have been a game-changing moment. The two of them are like two peas in a pod. I could see them being best friends. Then watching Chase tear up with his mom – well that got me. So maybe Chase is breaking down MY walls against him. Or maybe his mom is, I’m not sure yet. All I know is that I like Chase much more than I did last week. He’s growing on me. He’s the only one with an actual job out of the remaining 4. But I don’t feel JoJo’s love for / connection with him is as strong as with the others. PS – Colorado is absolutely beautiful and what a fun hometown date to go on just for the scenery alone.

(2) Jordan’s hometown. That shiny olive jacket Jordan was sporting was a bit too Danny Zuko from Grease for me. And perhaps it’s his tall lean frame but as he was strutting around his hometown high school, I felt like a bunch of T-Birds were going to ride up with him to do a musical number. It was nice that he wanted to show JoJo his high school and introduce her to some of his former teachers / coach. But the whole Aaron awkwardness (even at the very normal questions JoJo was asking him before meeting his family) put a damper on things. I’m not sure it’s the falling out part that’s making me question Jordan, but rather his complete inability to talk about it and act like it’s no big deal. It clearly is a big deal. The whole family is in on it.

I didn’t feel extreme warmness from Jordan’s parents. They seemed nice enough but very collegial and polite – almost how you would describe a crisp button down shirt. And Luke’s wife’s hair…maybe that’s the Texas way. Even when Jordan confessed to his mom that he had told JoJo that he loved her, she kind of looked him and smiled and was basically like, “Well that’s nice.”  Jordan’s brother Luke was more down to earth – but he also wasn’t willing to give up the family jeweled secrets. Maybe their family is like The Firm. You don’t know what you’re getting into until you’ve committed and by then it’s too late.

More in love with JoJo's outfit than Robby, but such is life

If I had to choose between Robby and JoJo’s outfit, I know which one I’m going for.

(3) Robby’s hometown date. Of everyone’s families, this one seemed the most welcoming, loving and in line with what JoJo’s dream family would be like (along with Chase’s mom). The only thorn on this one is that darn ex-girlfriend’s roommate. Combine the nasty rumors with JoJo’s already overcharged insecurities about Robby not being “ready” to get engaged and you’ve got a keg ready to explode. Can she really get past this? Will Robby be able to convince her that he’s in it to win it? Did the ex girlfriend roommate really use “He’s not there for the right reasons” tag? Because if you’re going to scorch someone’s reputation, can you at least use an original catch phase? Or is she scripted to only use a Bachelorism? I really liked Robby’s mom and sisters. I can see JoJo kicking back with them and drinking wine for days.

Most interesting about this date is that JoJo confessed to Robby’s mother that she’s falling in love with him. That’s the only person we’ve heard her say this about. Though I think she was wanting to say it to Jordan on their hometown. Actually, I don’t remember if it was Jordan or Robby that she felt in love with but was holding back (their hair bumps are confusing me).

(4) Luke’s ranch. Then we get to the cowboy. I mean, I try to picture what it must be like to be The Bachelorette, to have to be whisked all over the country in one week to meet the families for 4 men that you’re supposedly falling in love with and vice versa. How nervous and emotional JoJo must be. And physically exhausted from all the travel and having to be “on” with each family. Then finally she’s at the last family and all anxious about meeting Luke’s family and he “surprises” her with a party of 40+ people? Talk about bad planning. I’m sure JoJo was all grace and kindness and good manners and great first impressions – she aced it in every way. But she was already expressing some lack of emotional connection with Luke. Bringing her into a situation with so many strangers is probably not the best way to bridge that gap. I know he meant well, but I think it kind of backfired on him. Luke seems like a nice enough man’s man – brawny and old fashioned. I couldn’t get a good read on his parents – though he seemed to have made more of an emotional connection with his father than with JoJo. I don’t see Luke as the mushy, lovey dove type. I didn’t really see them fawning over each other like she did with the others. JoJo seems to be affectionate and she’s not all her self with Luke.

So then Luke gives her his heart? Which kind of reminds me of when Chris the Farmer had an airplane fly over his farm with Andi Doorman and the plan spelled out that he loved her. It all seemed kind of staged (both Chris the Farmer and Luke the Rancher War Veteran). I just don’t feel this connection as strongly as I do the others.

Based on the above, it didn’t surprise me that JoJo was ready to cut Luke loose (though it did surprise me that she would confess this PRIOR to handing out the roses). Does Luke sense that he’s doomed? Can he read minds in addition to circle fingering her thighs while kissing? Off he goes to throw out the “L” bomb to JoJo. This sends her into a beautiful tailspin. Never has anyone looked so gorgeous in a blue shimmering cleavage filled gown than a sobbing JoJo. The Husband questioned whether her boobs might be good substitute flotation devices in case their getaway plane at the rose ceremony had an accident. Speaking of planes – can’t believe we’re up to exotic overnight dates next week. The real question JoJo has to decide is who she wants to have sex with next week. Shocking.

Before I delve into next week’s proposed outcome (don’t forget – we’ve got a DOUBLE NIGHT of Bachelorette – Monday AND Tuesday), let me ask you this: are we truly and absolutely in love with any of these guys? Let’s use Ben Higgins as the benchmark. Do we feel as in love, elated and excited about the prospect of any of these guys with JoJo? I also feel her long term concerns with Jordan and Robby. They seem impulsive, eager and extremely competitive – isn’t she just a prize they’re after? I can feel their testosterone exploding out of their veins – even when Luke pulled JoJo aside to confess his love to her (uh, didn’t she know that giving her his heart actually translates into I LOVE YOU? Or must you actually state those exact words? I kind of thought Luke was being a bit original in that respect, but nah, she needed to hear those words, I guess?).

So my overall opinions on our remaining 4:

Luke – nice guy, stand up guy, there for the right reasons but there’s an emotional connection lacking with JoJo

Jordan – strongest connection / chemistry with JoJo, but there’s something about him she doesn’t trust or see lasting long term

Robby – most open emotionally, she’s stated she’s falling in love with him but this ex girlfriend thing is throwing her for a loop. Plus she may be interested in him solely because his hair reminds her of Jordan.

Chase – he’s picking up momentum. He’s definitely gone leaps and bounds with JoJo emotionally in the last 2 weeks of the show. Not sure he has the long term cheerfulness / emotional connection that JoJo needs. He seems a bit melancholy to me, do you agree?

Does this mean Robby could be our guy? Will Jordan win her over? Or will Chase knock them both out by tearing down his walls for good? Can it be next Monday already?

Xoxo,

Stacey

PS

Don’t forget you can find me on Instagram (@OfficeStace).

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With Hometown Dates on the Line, JoJo the Bachelorette’s Men Compete to be a Frontrunner

Trying to suck up horse's gaucho connection to be their own, but failing miserably

Trying to suck up horse’s gaucho connection to be their own, but failing miserably

There is nothing like walking home from a very long Monday at work, feeling wiped out and angry that Friday is a long ways away. And then you get a text from a friend reminding you that Bachelorette is BACK!!! Everything is better. You have an extra skip in your step. You start humming a James Taylor ballad because it’s soothing, like James Taylor on the show, but you ultimately know that JoJo is never in a thousand years going to choose this sweet, naive man.

So here we are and we’re down to FOUR. I was screaming at the TV for JoJo to just send Chase AND James Taylor the II home. Because when you’re on a group date with two other dudes and there’s a rose on the line which gives you a direct right to bring JoJo home to meet your family and then you don’t get that rose because she doesn’t want to meet your family for sure – she only wants to meet another dude’s family for sure…it’s time to cut bait and get the hell home. Was there any other way for James Taylor and Chase to feel when JoJo not only declared Robby the Frontrunner of their group date by giving him the rose but then telling the other two to LEAVE? Talk about humiliating. I could feel the rejection in the room.

This was actually an extremely entertaining episode. Here are some of my favorite moments:

  • That moment in the car with JoJo and Alex Smurf. Everyone and their mother is wondering how the heck he got this far. Then we realize it’s because she hasn’t actually spent too much alone time with him. He hasn’t hit the obnoxious level that he’s hit with everyone else in the house. So they’re in the back seat of this car, driving by some of the most beautiful landscape in the world when it happens…JoJo realizes she has absolutely no physical attraction to him. This was 100% solidified when Alex made potato chip duck lips with JoJo. He tried to kiss her with his potato chip lips and JoJo’s reflex was to recoil in disgust. If you missed this, go back and check it out.
  • The only thing more awkward than watching Alex and JoJo having zero chemistry in a car together is watching Alex ride a horse in a gaucho get-up. He looked like a cartoon character and it didn’t get much better. JoJo was so kind to even continue on the date with him and keep an open mind. It can only mean she is getting somewhat desperate to find love given the remaining dudes.
  • The horse and the gaucho had way more chemistry than JoJo and Alex. That whole gaucho / horse massage thing was both creepy and incredible.  Did you see how the horse licked the gaucho’s face? Did the horse get into some of their wine? What a beautiful date they had. If they weren’t able to find love there (ok, so Alex did, but JoJo didn’t), it was never going to happen.
  • There was way too much footage of the remaining 5 dudes’ bus trip to that beautiful Argentina oasis. These guys really like to sing a lot and pretend they’re in summer camp. They last line of their song about how Alex had to stand on a stool to do something – that’s pretty mean and he won’t be happy. But I’m certainly no better with my Smurf comment. As I’ve mentioned before, it’s entirely Alex’s “smallness” in his personality that accounts for my short remarks.
  • JoJo and Jordan drinking each other’s foot cheese?! What the hell was that all about? I’m still trying to get over Jordan looking like an asparagus in this recent Buzzfeed article. I know grapes are sweet, but aren’t they supposed to wear socks? And couldn’t they have had a glass of wine already made and not in toe cheese progress? YUCK. She must REALLY like Jordan. Can you imagine her drinking James Taylor or Alex’s foot cheese? I’m nauseous.
  • The hotel suite date and JoJo declaring that nobody is allowed to diet. I love her. She makes me laugh and she’s so real. How awesome that she made the guys do a massage train like she’s 8 years old and then had Robby run down the hall in his undies just so she could stare at his abs. Amazing job, JoJo. Also, bad move by James Taylor in stuffing all those fries into his mouth. That was never going to get him over the “friend” hurdle with JoJo.
  • Robby seemed over-confident. I’m not 100% sure what JoJo sees in him. I’d think that picking someone like James Taylor who would love her like a goddess forever and ever would be a much smarter choice than a former competitive swimmer. It’s what JoJo always seems to be lacking in her male choices (minus Ben the Great). She’d be cherished and adored – but she just couldn’t get into his “Awwww, Shucks” thing. Poor James Taylor and James Taylor, Sr. I would have liked to have a James Taylor sing along at the James Taylor compound. Maybe they’ll bring him back for Bachelor in Paradise?! I’d love to see the blonde Vegas twins fawn over him.

The most surprising moments from tonight:

  • Alex’s dark hairy arms?! Did anyone notice how they kept panning to his arms? I think they were trying to show that he was holding hands with JoJo. Only I couldn’t get to see their hand holding because my eyeballs got caught up in the mangled mess of thick arm hair. Very unusual.
  • Can someone convince me that Chase is interesting? I find him to be a bit of a mumbling mess, particularly when expressing his feelings for JoJo. He couldn’t use the “L” word so instead he blurts out that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her? Um, this is putting the cart before the horse. Did he just propose?
  • Then you have Robby who uses the word “frontrunner” about 18 times in 45 seconds. He thinks of everything in terms of a swim race. It must be confusing since one of his key competitors is named “Chase” and also because Jordan and him are hair twins – he’s feeling an extra dose of incentive to go that extra mile.
  • On a serious note, my respect for Jordan grew tonight when I learned that he actually doesn’t have much of a relationship with his brother Aaron. It made him seem more human. Like he’s actually his own person. He’s not riding his brother’s coattails – if anything, he’s been fighting to get out of his shadow. That makes him way more attractive. When he told JoJo that he loved her, I felt chills. This is the first time I kind of liked Jordan. Even if you don’t like Jordan – you can’t deny their sizzling chemistry – especially after seeing her with Alex.
  • Watching Luke ride a horse is like watching a dentist brush his teeth. Once I heard he’s got his own ranch back home, I knew we were heading there for hometowns. I want to see that ranch, don’t you?? He can shoot, he can ride horses – he’s a man’s man. The question for JoJo is whether she’s ready to saddle up next to a cowboy and ride off into the sunset or if she wants a lighter hearted relationship, where she can cut loose and be herself. Luke is so intense – at least he curbed his thigh finger seduction moves this week. Interesting that JoJo chose a date that wouldn’t have an evening element with Luke – so she could cancel the rose ceremony cocktail party and go straight to the decisions.
  • So many tears when JoJo said goodbye to James Taylor. You have to feel sorry for him because honestly – when is he ever going to have the confidence or opportunity to meet anyone remotely of her calibre? You can tell he’s always the guy getting rejected for being so nice. Like I said – let’s get some consoling going on with those blonde Vegas twins on Bachelor in Paradise. He’ll be crooning new guitar love songs in no time.
  • Lots of beautiful horses in this episode. And scenery. Argentina looks absolutely beautiful.

You know what else is beautiful? My bed right now. It’s calling for me. I can’t resist much longer but before I go…Yesterday, my toddler daughter Ellie was 2 years and 4 months (it’s also the 2 year, 4 month anniversary since Juan Pablo’s season finale as The Bachelor). She’s 1/3 of the way to 3. I can’t even fathom how fast this time has gone. She is a force, wonder, joy and such a source of strength for me. I feel so unbelievably lucky to be her mommy. Here are some recent pics of her. You can find us on Instagram too (@OfficeStace).

What did you all think of tonight? Thank goodness we only have to wait ONE week til we figure out if Robby is lying to JoJo and how deep Jordan’s brother issues go. Can’t wait!!

Xoxo,

StaceyIMG_0537

Ellie Lila, 70s style

Ellie Lila, 70s style

Just hangin'

Just hangin’

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Don’t Cry For JoJo, Argentina! The Bachelorette Takes Buenos Aires

Lusting for Luke

Lusting for Luke

It was a steamy one. Before we dive into how sweaty each of these men were on their respective dates, I’d like to wish a very happy birthday to my big sister, Wendy. Wendy, like myself, is still hoping against all odds that Ben Higgins will show up on one of these dates and declare his love for JoJo all over again. I mean, think about Alex, who someone (I won’t say who), now refers to as “Alex the Smurf.” Not nice. I will avoid all height knocks because I’m short myself, however, it’s more Alex’s over-confidence and obnoxiousness lately that’s been his biggest turn off. If JoJo can fall in love with Ben H, can she actually think that Alex would be a better option? Puh-lease. It’s like dating a grasshopper after you’ve ridden a dolphin. Not even in the same species. Pity rose is absolutely right, Alex. At least he knows better.

So for Wendy’s birthday, I wanted to make sure everyone heard that Ben H and Lauren landed their own reality TV show. It’s coming this Fall on Freeform (is that a channel?) and will feature their life together in Denver. Ben is apparently eyeing a run at politics for the Republican Party in Colorado. The show, which will be produced by Bachelor creator Mike Fleiss, will also cover their wedding planning, of course. Back to JoJo.

I’m feeling very down on these guys tonight. The way they were all ganging up on Wells and the fact that he hadn’t gotten a kiss yet, was just incredibly unattractive. They just seemed collectively like immature schmucks. I was sorry to see how they carried on. I like Wells. He did seem like one of the only normal, down to earth types. Like your artsy funny guy friend. So what if he didn’t kiss her yet? Maybe he’s taking things at a normal pace. Still, the fact that JoJo had to congratulate him after he finally did it – their relationship was never going to go anywhere. JoJo definitely wants a guy to take control of the situation. Also, Wells didn’t seem too optimistic about keeping the passion alive long term. I mean, come on, Wells – at least fake it. JoJo is living a fairy tale, he’s got to try to live in it. But alas, they were stuck in the friend zone with little hope of moving out. Especially when you’ve got guys like Luke turning up the heat factor.

Side note: Was it awkward for JoJo to go back in to see the Fuerza Bruta show by herself? Obviously this was meant to be the activity she did with Wells had things gone better for them. Not to worry, Wells – come to NYC and you can see the show in Union Square.

Let’s talk about that group date. I so badly wanted them to play the Evita song with the lyrics, “What’s new, Buenos Aires…” while the group was exploring the town. The soccer segment was cute – another opportunity for Jordan to show off his athleticism and Luke to wear a shirt that’s too tight on him. As for Robby, what does a Former Competitive Swimmer do for a living these days? Is he also Formerly Earning a Living? Did he make so much money off of his swimming that he can retire? I was worried for JoJo that she was going to have to kiss one of the Argentinian men, but we never saw them actually compete – just her guys.

Not sure what to make of Sweet James throwing Jordan under the bus during his JoJo time. Is there video tape of this poker game somewhere so we can all judge? I think it’s very evident how confident Jordan is, how he’s got his little clique going with Robby and Smurf (sorry, there I go again) and he’s definitely got the wide eyed smug thing happening. I thought he was going to strangle James after his conversation with JoJo revealed that James attacked Jordan’s character. As you may recall, it was around this point in Ben’s season when that blonde girl, Leah, attacked Lauren B’s character to Ben. Maybe James was feeling threatened. He admitted to not being one of the frontrunners. He also feels out of place around the other guys, feeling like he’s not worthy.  That said, he never should have said anything to JoJo. She seems very capable of figuring people out – I’m sure she’s also worried about Jordan’s intentions, given that she’s spoken to his ex girlfriend.

So then we come to the dreaded two on one. JoJo was smoking hot in that red dress and red lips (she is like an A+++ in terms of wardrobe this season). I am pretty sure we saw that professional tango dancer’s beyond bikini line during one of her dance moves. Was that an Argentinian special dance move? Seriously – way too much information in the groin area. I felt bad for Jim from the Office (Derek). His relationship with JoJo has fizzled since their one on one – his feelings have grown because he’s literally had nothing else to do but sit and dwell on it. Derek seems like a nice enough guy, but I have felt that he’s not quite at the sophistication, eloquence level that JoJo needs in a partner. Even when Derek was confessing that he’s falling for JoJo, he could only kiss her to express himself. He didn’t talk about how or why or where this was coming from. So he’s just expecting Jojo to feel it too – when she’s been feeling that way for some time with the other guys. I wasn’t surprised when Chase got the rose. He seems a bit more in tune with JoJo’s feelings and has that passion where Derek just felt lackluster.

So it was rose ceremony time and JoJo is in a gorgeous blueish / purple mermaid gown. She looks absolutely beautiful as usual. So glad they haven’t made her do crazy things with her make up and hair – she looks like herself in pretty much every scene. Such a breath of fresh air.

So everyone in the world knows that she’s either sending home Smurf Alex or Sweet Baby James. We want to scream at her TVs and tell her Alex (ok, at least I do), but JoJo takes pity on both of them and saves them both for one more week. The Husband was convinced she’d be sending both home. I mean, can she really see a future with either of these guys? I can’t even see her doing hometown dates with them. James is a sweetheart, but JoJo will get bored of him in about 3 minutes.

A few other points that are keeping me up at night:

(1) What’s going on with Luke’s teeth? They’re super white and seem like veneers. Perhaps my sister can comment on this as she’s a dentist. Wendy: are these veneers? Or is he just genetically blessed with ultra bright chompers?

(2) What’s with all the leather jackets? I felt like everyone was trying to be like Danny Zuko in Grease tonight. At one point, Jordan and his black leather jacket walked off with JoJo in her black leather jacket and it looked like a scene from a ’50s movie.

(3) Jordan and Robby’s side parted do-wop bump is wavering on obnoxious. Do they purposely comb their hair in the same direction like that? All I want to do is mess up their hair.

(4) Is Robby going to turn on us all next week and become the crazy guy? The previews don’t make him look too great plus the first guy to drop the I love you bomb usually crashes and burns pretty quickly. Yes, yes, yes, JoJos is so relieved that someone said this to her, but she doesn’t necessarily feel it back when she’s got Jordan and Lustful Luke on the radar. PS – was Luke squeezing her upper thigh in a gyrating motion? I did notice some thigh petting, but not sure where he was going with that.

(5) Why haven’t we had any other dudes come back on this season to try to win over JoJo? Especially considering she’s the best Bachelorette EVER?? Where are all the guys who want a shot at her? Seriously, this is probably one of the only seasons where a past contestant would have a real shot at “winning” considering the lot he’d be competing with.

(6) My Spanish teacher in college told me that most Argentinians HATE the show / movie / soundtrack of Evita, because it completely misrepresents the history of their country and Eva Peron’s character. In fact, when the whole “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina” craze was going on, he would forbid anyone from singing or even humming the song. It was funny to see that singer belt out the main song of the musical in tonight’s date knowing this piece of information. This didn’t stop Chase from going for it with JoJo – so good for him!

(7) Was JoJo’s kissing this week just extra detailed? I thought they were going to stick a camera into Luke’s mouth at one point. How much tongue do we actually need to see here? I mean, we get it. Luke and JoJo have passion. Even his leather jacket and white teeth scream “soap opera king,” And then I felt bad for James who was speaking to JoJo right after her Luke make out tongue bath session thinking – GROSS, he’s literally making out with Luke if he goes anywhere near JoJo’s face, which he did. I wonder if there’s a mouthwash / tooth brush session in between serious make outs.

Alright, Bach fans. It’s been a long Monday. I seem to have passed my cold onto my daughter, so I better grab sleep while I can. I hope you all have some fun 4th of July plans brewing. We’re still undecided. Much like JoJo is about her men. I just don’t see anyone being a long term choice for her and this makes me sad (but gives me hope that she can be The Bachelorette again later on with a better crop of men).

Wishing you all a wonderful evening and week ahead.

Xoxo,

Stacey B

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Two Chads Crash and Burn as Bachelorette JoJo Takes Uruguay

After a week hiatus (which seemed like FOREVER), we are back Bachelorette Fans!! I was giddy with joy knowing that our favorite show was on tonight. A head cold hit me like a thousand knives – similar to how Chad must feel watching all the guys throw his protein powder around the deck as his symbolic ashes post-dumping by JoJo. I’m not sure what’s more challenging – understanding how Evan has stuck around until this point or trying to stay up, watch the show and blog after taking an adult size Benadryl dose. Eyes are literally closing and I’m swaying.

I must make this post shorter – I’ll make up for it tomorrow. Promise.

A few comments before I suddenly jolt myself awake, it’s 5 AM and I’m drooling over my half written blog post:

  • It's getting hot in here

    It’s getting hot in here

    Is Derek from the Office (Jim) so insecure that he’s kind of the closet loser nobody has noticed until now? Perhaps everyone was so focused on getting muscle man Chad out of the house that they didn’t have time to “out” Derek as uncool. It was kind of odd that he singled out a small slice of the guys to berate their chumminess. And I liked Derek, particularly during his Chad confrontation a couple weeks earlier. That said, Jordan seems to have this suave way about him that rubs people the wrong way. Even the gesture of throwing JoJo up again an opposite wall from where the guys were, was semi disrespectful. Was he trying to throw it in their face that he’s making out with their girl behind their backs (literally?). Is he over confident?

  • Robby seems to have a nice combination of all the things that JoJo likes. He’s got the confidence of Jordan in his hair. He’s got the intensity and serious side like Luke. He’s got the clownish personality of Chase and Wells and he seems warm and likable. He’s the first to declare open love for JoJo versus this, “I’m falling in love with you” that Jordan sprung on her. Robby is gaining serious momentum.
  • I felt horrible for JoJo regarding her ex-Chad jerk. I didn’t read that In Touch magazine article since I avoid spoilers like the plague, but can only imagine what it must be like to have an ex-boyfriend say horrible lies about you for money and out in public. It’s hard to imagine that anyone could make JoJo feel insecure. She’s a total goddess. Did you see that white dress she had on for Robby’s date? Did you see her bikinis du jour this week? My goodness. If she feels insecure, there’s no hope for the rest of us.
  • I’m honestly too drugged and tired to get into it on anyone else at this time. My eyes must close and I can’t do anything about it, so I’ll just say the following:
  1. I’m worried about Jordan. I fear there’s a side to him that JoJo hasn’t seen. I don’t 100% trust him. He kind of admitted to getting carried away in flirting with other girls while he was in a relationship. I’m sure women will be throwing themselves at him now that he’s been on the show. Will he be tempted? Is he in this just for the publicity and to “win?” He’s a competitor!
  2. I’m over both Chads. I’m still not sure why Roid Rage Chad came back to the house. His death grip on Jordan was kind of strange to watch. Is Chad going to Bachelor in Paradise? Maybe JoJo’s ex Chad can go too and they could be like a 2 for 1 special.
  3. I like Chase and think he’s a decent guy. Robby stood out to me the most tonight. Luke’s nipple freaks me out a bit. Does he ever lighten up? I think he’s a bit too intense for JoJo. I’d like to see a Wells date.

Literally, typing with one eye closed. If anyone can recommend a cold medicine that will stop me from sneezing and a runny nose but won’t make me drowsy, I’m all ears. More on tonight’s episode tomorrow when I’m conscious.

Xoxo,

Stacey

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