What a strange season of Bachelorette. The episodes start in the middle, the format of the season is thrown for a loop and our Bachelorette is making some major mistakes. I mean, on the one hand, she’s never been the Bachelorette before so it’s not like she’s got experience.
On the other hand, there are some essential guidelines the leader of this show must always follow: (1) don’t have sex with someone before the fantasy suite dates if you don’t want to feel guilty about it, want others to find out or feel so guilty about it that you end up making sure the others find out; (2) don’t take the initiative to spend off camera time with anyone. It puts the guy in a strange power position that neither one of you can handle and it’s just as bad as having sex with someone before the fantasy suite date; (3) don’t confess to any of the contestants that HE is YOUR ONE. Because even if he is, it throws off the whole magical formula of the show – which is that nobody can know that you’re in love with them before the very end. Also, if you tell that to someone and then you go ahead and have sex with somebody else or even make out with somebody else – YOUR ONE – is going to become in a mental lockdown that will cause them to self-destruct or become very angry and stern looking. It may cause them to snore in a very unattractive way. I’m telling you, if I was an interested Kaitlyn suitor, I’d tell everybody that I slept with Kaitlyn which would send them all home. Then I’d show Kaitlyn a video of Shawn snoring, which would completely turn her off. It would probably just be down to me and Nick at which point, I’d take him to those cliffs in Ireland and give him a little nudge off the edge.
Speaking off cliffs with sharp edges, I feel so sad for Chris “Cupcake” Dentist. He was always a tad too sensitive for my liking, but he’s completely genuine and I felt horrible for him. Especially once that sob sequence began. They really should plan these dates better. A guy feeling that low should have a harness tethered to something so he can’t throw himself off the edge after getting dumped by the woman he saw as his wife. That chemistry was just never there. We all knew it. But poor Cupcake didn’t know.
Thank goodness that JJ is gone. And how awesome that Kaitlyn got to do this after he admitted that he cheated on his wife. RUN, KAITLYN. You know the expression, “Once a cheater…” I mean, yes, he’s learned from his mistakes. I’m sure he’d never cheat on Clint. At least these two can reunite and explore their love.
I feel bad for Joe Kentucky. He’s another very genuine guy who Kaitlyn has no chemistry with. Joe is saying all the right things. He’s quirky and funny and wears his heart on his sleeve. Kaitlyn needs someone more sophisticated and I just don’t see Joe fitting that bill.
I felt really bad for Ben Z, who I found absolutely charming and wonderful. He’ll be a contender for the next Bachelor, for sure. Along with Handsome Ben H, who I adore and is my #1 pick for next Bachelor. I liked Ben H even more for calling out Kaitlyn on the odd behavior that went on when she went off camera roading with him and Shawn. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he knew something had changed. Smart guy. Intuitive. If he only knew the secrets. I wonder if he’ll stick around once he hears the Nick News. CAN I START MY BEN H FOR BACHELOR CAMPAIGN NOW??!!
As for the Dublin dates – they were beautiful and romantic – but this Dublin week seemed like the longest week of dates EVER. I kept asking The Husband, “Have we left Dublin yet?” I guess we did with the road trip with Jared. I also really like Jared – sincere, up for anything – but again, he’s missing that sophistication / edge that Kaitlyn seems to need. I am really wondering what she sees in the intensity of Shawn – does she really find him handsome? Is his stern nature something that she finds attractive? Maybe Cupcake is correct – maybe Kaitlyn doesn’t know what she needs or wants in a husband. Would she really be this confused, emotionally drained if she had the capability of finding a husband through this process? She does seem a little all over the place. I am rooting for her nonetheless (why not?!) and hope she can get it together.
Other things worth mentioning:
- Nick is like one of 17 kids if I recall correctly from Andi’s season. Ok, maybe more like 9 brothers and sisters, but still a LOT. I hope we get to see his youngest sister again because I remember she was funny and cute and the best part about Nick.
- I really want to meet Ben H’s family. Really just to see what he’s all about so I can pull for him when he’s the next Bachelor
- Kaitlyn is definitely our most daring / sultry Bachelorette when it comes to evening gown wear. Every dress she’s worn has some major sexy element to it (open back, see-through material, etc).
- Tanner who?
- It was such an intense moment when Shawn came to Kaitlyn’s hotel room for the second time to come clean on his feelings (not really sure what we learned the second time around, but ok) and Kaitlyn thought he was going to confront her about the Nick sex thing but really that had nothing to do with it. And it’s not clear whether this made Kaitlyn feel better or worse. But I think everyone can agree that Shawn will need some serious drugs and should NOT be standing near a Cliff or be handling heavy machinery or knives when he finds out that she slept with Nick.
- What would Andi say about Nick getting emotional when he has one on one time with Kaitlyn later on? Are the tears real? They seemed spontaneous to me. Or maybe he’s worried about being the runner up twice in a row. Always a Bachelorette loser, never the Bachelor. Hmmm.
- Ben Z was so big that as he was kissing Kaitlyn, it seemed that his mouth would cover her entire below-nose section of her face. He’s just built like a bear and Kaitlyn is so petite.
- I like Kaitlyn’s hair in a pony tail. She’s never worn it up.
- Kaitlyn’s regret. It’s become another contestant on the show. She regrets her intimate night with Nick. Not because of the sex. But because it disrespects what she had with the other guys. True dat. She also regrets telling Shawn that he was the ONE. So what does a regretful Bachelorette do? Switch up the order of the show! We can’t have a regretful, kissing bandit Bachelorette go meet 4 families. Let’s give her more alone time to feel out these guys (aka – more sex with more guys so they all get equal treatment). Then we’ll trim the fat and only have her meet two people’s families. At this point, Nick has got to be in the final two. If she hasn’t kicked Shawn out yet, he’ll stay until the end (though I still don’t understand her big obsession with him). The chemistry between Kaitlyn and Nick is much easier and natural. Like him or hate him, she LIKES the guy. Or at least she did pre-sex.
Wild card spot goes to Ben H (he’s just so adorable, smart and noble but a bit too vanilla perhaps for Kaitlyn. Also, he’s 26 – which means he may have a bit more living to do before he’s deemed “ready” in Bachelorette speak.
Ok, off to bed. Long day tomorrow. I’ve got to figure out what these guys’ reactions to Kaitlyn will be next week.