Paradise Lost? The Bachelorette Challenges The Drama As Her Men Squabble

All smiles with Dean

All smiles with Dean

So much to discuss tonight. Like how I almost got killed on my way home from work due to the insane NYC lightning / 60 mph winds and thunderstorms. It was actually the perfect impending backdrop for tonight’s Bachelorette. I was also umbrella-less and the storm’s severity sent every cell phone within a 10 mile radius into a buzzing, pitching tizzy. In any event, I made it home soaked and alive. Barely.

After a hazy couple of weeks of drama surrounding the currently filming of Bachelor in Paradise (BIP = RIP?), I was happy to be back to Rachel’s sunny disposition and mastery of Bachelorette skills if any Bachelorette ever had such skills. But overall, she’s still got a lot of fat trimming to do with these men until I can take them seriously.

Before we get into it, let’s just recap some of the Bach newsworthy items we’ve heard over the last couple weeks:

Carly & Evan - Match made in Paradise

Carly & Evan – Match made in Paradise

  • First off, Carly Waddell married Evan Bass – remember these guys from the last season of Bachelor in Paradise? Carly treated him horribly and couldn’t be more repulsed by him. Then he somehow charmed her and despite holding a World Record for the longest, most awkward kiss in Bach history, they’re now married. ABC will show the wedding in an upcoming episode or special.
  • In case you’ve been trapped in a bunker with no cell service for the last 2 weeks, the breaking news in Bachelor land is that filming was suspended for Bachelor in Paradise which was supposed to air in August. There are all sorts of rumors flying around, but basically the show is investigating “sexual misconduct” that involved Corinne’s “Platinum Vagine” and DeMario “DeOusted” by Rachel. Cast members were sent home with no explanation and one of the producers is suing the show as is Corinne and everyone is all lawyered up. We’ll have to wait to see what the next steps are. The whole situation is just sad because people find TRUE LOVE on this show. Like Lace and Grant (RIP) and Amanda Standon and Josh (RIP). Oh wait, they both broke up. But we love to watch them! Because what is summer without Bachelor in Paradise and more drunk people making out and fighting and getting dumped in a pool? PS – Jade and Tanner are expecting their first baby very soon. See, true love CAN happen in Paradise.
  • Trista Sutter (first Bachelorette) was on vacation with her family in Croatia when she suddenly had a “violent” seizure. It sounds like Trista is ok now, but it was quite the scare.

Ok, I’m now ready to move on to Rach and this episode. Not sure if it was me, but this episode did seem to drag. There are still too many odd balls still remaining. For example, let’s just cut out Lee, Kenny, Iggy and Josiah right now.

Why do I say this?

  1. Lee is an instigator. His insane hair part that doves into a surfer wave, minus the one imperfect strand that falls beneath the huge wave when he’s defending himself, is just intolerable to watch. He’s been throwing out really stupid phrases that imply he’s questionably racist or at the very least, incredibly stupid. At the same time, he knows how to turn it on with Rachel and for some reason she finds him more of a potential match than DIGGY, who COME ON, is on the other team for sure (not that there’s anything wrong with that). I’d certainly want to spend an evening getting styled by Diggy than listen to one more minute of Lee’s nonsense or see his squirmy fake smile. UGH.
  2. Kenny’s temper is too much. And based on next week’s preview, he should just go right now. Also the free style rap thing is just too much. He’s a little too much showmanship and should be a little more Rachel savvy. She’s not into the flashy. I think Kenny means well and it all comes from a good place, but he’s literally killing his chances by the second.
  3. Iggy is just a joke. There’s not an ounce of Rachel that’s interested in that.
  4. There are parts of Josiah that are wonderful – sense of humor, spelling abilities and his drive. But altogether, he’s a big mess and can’t get out of his own way.

As for this week’s dates, Dean is like a living Ken doll. Those blue eyes, dark hair, white teeth. In fact, if Bachelor in Paradise is gone forever, the show could make up revenue by selling Dean dolls. He’s almost too pretty to be taken seriously. I do agree with the concern of his age. Even watching how he opened up to Rachel about his mother’s death felt very raw and unprocessed. He had never told another person about it at age 25 and this happened when he was 15? His family “fell apart” after his mother’s death and it sounds like he hasn’t fully gotten his head around it and really dealt with what happened. In my opinion, Dean seems like a nice enough guy – he seems to come from a similar background as Rachel, but he needs about 5-8 years more to bake. Maybe get in trouble a little.

Also The Husband is convinced that with his pretty boy looks and white pants he was sporting during their evening date, that Dean is on the same team as Diggy. I still picture Dean as the lead character of a 1950s high school musical.

The group date was fun to watch. Props to Peter for trying to free style rap. His confidence shined through, but I was still cringing the entire time.  Peter seems a bit on the serious side. Not sure he’s free spirited enough for Rachel. The Husband thinks if you clean shaved his face, it would grow back 30 seconds later.

I don’t think Will is getting enough air time. His voice reminds me of Obama for some reason. Will just oozes good guy and I hope we get to see more of him. Plus he was runner up in the Spelling Bee, so perhaps he’s got brains to match the looks?

I am absolutely confused by Bryan (Latin Lover) and Jack (who I honestly can’t recall before tonight). I thought they were one person before Jack got all excited about getting the second one on one. Speaking of which – did we miss Jack’s date or did they just not finish the group date? Perhaps this is why we needed 2 episodes next week. Back to back!

Highlights for me on this episode:

  • Watching Rachel’s reaction to talking with Bryan and Peter versus any other guy in the house. She’s absolutely smitten with these two.
  • Rachel’s reaction when Eric tries to kiss her. She’s taken aback, but goes for it. Not sure she’s feeling it.
  • Watching how Rachel plays judge at every controversial event that takes place in the house. She literally is having these guys present their case, but does it in this flirtatious, non-confrontational way. She is so done with the Foolish Four (Lee, etc.)
  • Rachel taking the reins on the Blimp date. So many times it’s the women who are timid and the men have to “save” them. I loved watching Rachel embody a strong, fearless woman who comforts her timid, fearful date. I also loved how she jumped into one of the pilot seats and took over. Watching Dean together with Rachel, they almost have a big sister, little brother relationship. She’s his babysitter? Even how they walk with their arms around each other versus holding hands, just seems a bit chummy to me. What do you think?

And with that, it’s time to dive into bed and reflect on whether the Kenny bloody eye shot was from an actual fight with Lee or something completely unrelated that they’re editing to make us think was horrific.

I’m still excited about Will even though Rachel’s only got eyes for Bryan and Peter at this point. The rest seem like immature SCHMUCKS. And that was the easiest word to spell, btw. Who are your favorites? Who is going home next week?

Happy Monday. Stay cool and away from open fields if you’re in a lightning storm.

Til next week,

Stacey B (@OfficeStace on Instagram)

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Rachel The Bachelorette: Kicks Duds to Curb, Makes Men Swoon & Strip

Will = Hot, Rachel = Perfection, Latin Lover = Latin Lover

Will = Hot, Rachel = Perfection, Latin Lover = Latin Lover

Rachel may be one of the best Bachelorettes of all time. There, I said it. What do you guys think? Are you digging her this season? Or do you actually have a life so you’re doing other things this summer?  Rachel makes me laugh with her quick wit, she can see a DraMario (DeDramio?) coming from a thousand miles away and the more I get to love her personality, the more beautiful she appears.

Maybe they had a revamp of their production staff, but I am loving the original, fun dates on this season. It’s amazing to see all of these A list celebrity appearances this season. I really think that Rachel divided the guys up into “A List” and “B List” dates. The A Listers got to go to Ellen. There’s no way in hell she’d bring her favorites to dangle them in front of her hot single friends. Did you SEE the sexy number that Raven was wearing? No way in hell I’d let that seductress near any man I was remotely interested in. Rachel is so smart and I have so much confidence in her, that I’m fairly certain she already knows her top 4-5 guys (the A Listers), so she’s sorta giving her friends their pick of the remaining litter. I’d say Dean is maybe the only exception and Kenny is very entertaining as well, but I don’t think Rachel feels more than a friendship vibe for him. Also, don’t you kind of wish they’d have some commentary on what the guys thought of Rachel’s friends? Come on, SOMEONE had to say SOMETHING.

So first, we had the BIG return of DeMario. There were definitely moments when I thought Rachel would let him back in the mansion. Did you? I feel like past bachelorettes would have made that mistake. He’s definitely a sweet talker. He did seem sort of sincere in his remorse and that “Karma’s a bitch” Ex was definitely scary and who knows if what she’s saying is 100% true. Also, I actually believe DeMario would rather be going after Rachel than being with his Ex.  But Rachel was so upset when she initially was dealing with this, that it seems once she shut the door on DeMario, she was DONE. She didn’t even lose her cool in talking to him. He had no more power over her. He was just as shocked as I was – WHAT? A woman who isn’t taken by my charm and sincerity? Who sees through it? Rachel for President.

Thank the Lord that we’re done with Wah-Boom and his shenanigans. I only wish we could have spent more time with Ellen DeGeneres and less time watching Wah-Boom squabble with Blake the Aspiring Drummer. Biggest waste of national TV airtime EVER. The whole banana licking story did provide a couple laughs (mostly in watching Blake have a genuine laugh in hearing the accusation from Rachel), but let us be thankful that this nonsense is OVER.

So the A-Listers (and Jonathan the Tickler) go to The Ellen Show which may be my favorite celebrity guest since Jimmy Kimmel. I love Ellen’s love for the show and was feeling Rachel’s comment that Ellen is her spirit animal. I’m pretty sure Ellen feels like a lot of people’s spirit animal. When the guys stripped down and were grind-dancing the audience, The Husband and I laughed for 3 minutes straight. That means a lot because the Husband is on Day 1 of a carb free diet and he’s pretty angry. So anything that makes him laugh has to be very funny. I think The Husband’s spirit animal is Alex the Russian. The Husband likes Russians named Alex because of Alexander Ovechkin – the famous Washington Capitals ice hockey player, so maybe he’s confusing them? I’m pretty sure The Husband was jealous of that grandma who got grinded by Alex.

I did feel bad (like really bad) for Fred the Camper. Clearly the guy is living out his childhood crush. You feel his jealousy kick in when he learns that 3 other guys have kissed Rachel, but not him. I mean how do you go about building the right moment to kiss your childhood crush when you know you’re already behind the ball? Such pressure. Plus Rachel has already put him in the “naughty” kid corner and won’t let him out. He seemed to be coming up to bat with two strikes against him. Not exactly a fair playing ground. So Fred finally gets up the nerve to “be romantic” with Rachel, but then he ends up asking permission to kiss her? You just want to reach out and shake the guy. Dude, Rachel already sees you as a little boy. Stop ASKING if you can kiss her and plant one on her like a man.

So then Kid Camper Fred goes for it. Like really gives it the camper try. And it’s awesome and long and you can see he’s just exploding with excitement. I loved his off camera description of what it was like to kiss Rachel – just absolute screams of joy. I was so happy for him. And you can see stars in his eyes and he’s got his tuxedo all picked out for their wedding.  We’re thinking – hmmm, how amazing would that be for the kid naughty boy camper to be THE ONE all along? And there he was, just sitting in Dallas waiting for the right time to go after Rachel? I was ready to get on the Fred train.

Then it’s time to announce the group date rose and Rachel grabs it and pulls Fred aside. The Husband, being as hangry as he was, knew instantly that Friend Fred was DONE. Why did Rachel taunt him with that rose? Kind of mean, Rach. Did she not realize she was holding it and what Camper Fred would think?

Some of my favorite parts of tonight:

  • Watching Iggy butt in on Eric’s less than enthusiastic analysis of Rachel’s intentions. Eric is clearly the douche this season now that Wah Boom is gone. Or maybe it’s Lee. Anyone who stews angry thoughts towards Rachel about her sincerity while slouching on a couch with a sweatshirt hood drawn over his head, is not going to be very popular.
  • Can Iggy and Diggy have a YouTube channel together? There is no way Diggy is straight and Iggy just seems like genuine, big huggable guy. Neither have a chance with Rachel, but I just like their names together.
  • The Husband was very turned off by Bryce. I’m not sure what offended him more – his very white teeth, his semi-scary expressions or his Star Trekkish ears (which I think were semi-charming). I am impressed, however, that he beat the professional wrestler in a wrestling match. Funny how there was no reward of Rachel alone time for “winning” that match. Probably because Rachel agrees with The Husband’s assessment of Bryce.
  • Bryan the Model’s hair is ridiculous. It was just a step more crazy than David Silver’s 1990s do in Beverly Hills, 90210. I also don’t believe that Bryan’s straight. Diggy and Bryan may actually be an adorable couple.
  • I was super impressed with Alex the Russian’s Rubik’s Cube skills. More so – that he could solve the cube while romancing Rachel. That’s got to be attractive, right?
  • How suave was Anthony just hopping on a horse and riding it around Rodeo Drive when he’s NEVER RIDDEN A HORSE BEFORE? I was super impressed with him. At first, I thought he might be a bit vanilla for Rachel or not sophisticated enough. But he’s actually a good contrast to her strong, powerful personality. What do you think? Also, he’s 26 which is a bit young for 31 year old Rachel. But he seems like a very mature 26 year old. Their date was very cute – how awesome to walk horses into those fancy stores?!

Things that confused me:

  • Who is Matt? I honestly don’t even remember him. Also, Jack who has super white teeth. Did they just show up tonight?
  • Why did the cameras blur out the horse crap in the Rodeo Drive store? Is poop considered inappropriate for TV?
  • Would anyone want to go back into the pool now that Alex has confessed to peeing in it?
  • Seriously, why let your hot friends anywhere near your potential boyfriends? Rachel must be the most secure and confident female I have ever seen. Raven was digging for dirt and all signs seem to point to Eric. Let us not forget his words about Rachel, “It feels like it’s a lot of facade…like she’s playing a game…you’re not going to give (all of yourself) to someone who you’re probably not going to end up with.”
  • How strange is it to watch Corinne in any scene without her saying insanely ridiculous, funny things to the camera? I don’t think we heard her say a single word tonight which is a shame. She had to have some noteworthy opinions.
  • And where is my best friend Whitney who claims that Rachel is her best friend? Shouldn’t she have been there?

 

 

 

Other general observations:

  • Dean reminds me of the superhero leading man of a 1950s high school drama. He’s just made to go to prom with. Maybe it was that beige jacket he was wearing and his school boy, clean cut looks.
  • Is Lee going to end up to be the racist Southern Dude. One of the reasons I love this season so much is because we’ve been able to just enjoy Rachel being Rachel with no focus on race. It’s just a young, smart, beautiful woman looking for love. And her love is colorblind. Seriously – it’s such a diverse group of guys that she’s interested in and that’s what makes this such a unique, intriguing season. I hope Lee doesn’t ruin that for us.
  • So now 3 guys and Raven have warned her about Eric and she still gives him the group date rose. Never a good sign. Eric goes nuts and starts preaching at the guys – is he showing his true nature? He can’t handle the Bach heat. Guys hating on you – you’ve got to ignore it and focus on the girl.

 

 

 

Ok, that’s about all I’ve got in me for now. What did everyone else think? Any early favorites? I’m going to say that I’m very much into Will. He’s tall, dark and handsome. He makes Rachel laugh. We’ve seen enough of him to know that Rachel is into him, and he’s described as “outgoing” but he also makes Rachel laugh (e.g., saying “Yes I WILL” when accepting her rose). He’s funny and Rachel knows it. He’s one to watch.

I still like Latin Lover guy, Gap Toothed Pete and Dean. And Anthony is a strong possibility after tonight too. How will Rachel decide? So many great men here.

While we ponder how bad the Eric / Lee fallout next week will be, I must call it a night. We are still recovering from three separate 3 year old birthday parties this weekend and a 5 mile race in Central Park. All good stuff, but my brain and legs need a rest and I’m taking my Hangry Husband with me.

Good night, Bachelorette fans. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this season and Rachel’s men.  Follow me on Instagram (@OfficeStace).

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The Bachelorette’s First Dates: Dad Obstacle Courses, Dog Resorts & Deception

All smiles as Bachelorette

All smiles as Bachelorette

Sultry Robin Givens in Boomerang

Sultry Robin Givens in Boomerang

Let’s keep it 100, Bachelorette fans. Whatever that means. Is DeMario a total dirt bag or just misunderstood? I’m going with dirt bag. Can two gap-toothed hotties find love in Bachelorette land? You betcha. Does Eric the personal trainer just smell a little too much of desperation? And Josiah’s whole “Protector and Mr. Honesty” role he played tonight was a nice recovery from being besties with DeMario about 30 minutes earlier in the same day.

Happy Memorial Day, Friends. There’s so much to discuss and question. Like why did my 3 year old scream her head off for me out of the blue this evening for almost 2 hours? It was to the point where I literally almost took her out of her room to watch Bach with me. Is it normal for a 3 year old to address you by your first name? Then after screaming for you by first mean, she breaks into singing Disney’s Moana followed by “Under the Boardwalk?” I don’t think she had any caffeine before bedtime, but she must have the genetic desire to watch Bachelorette on Mondays. Maybe I won’t fight this next week.

It was a very active weekend of a trip to my sister’s house and hangin’ with our four nephews, watching a lacrosse tournament of my niece who traveled in with her team from Park City, Utah, a classic Main Street Memorial Day parade and an official outdoor swim of the season. We’re exhausted. Well, maybe just some of us. All I want to do is curl up with our dog, Wally, at Bark Fest. How awesome was that place? Also, it’s a good thing that Peter bonded quickly with Copper or it could have been a very awkward date. I wonder what kind of accident Copper got in? What an adorable dog and such a fun date…but let’s rewind to the beginning because there’s a ton to cover:

FIRST, before I forget, does anyone else get an early ’90s Robin Givens vibe from Rachel? I can’t get it out of my head when I see her – like Robin Givens from Boomerang. See them side by side – the resemblance is deep. I think it’s the confidence, the adorable smile and the big, warm brown eyes that can double as being seductive. Does anyone else see this?

Robin Givens or Rachel's sister?

Robin Givens or Rachel’s sister?

All smiles as Bachelorette

All smiles as Bachelorette

We’re finally starting to identify who is who on tonight’s episode. A few of the guys stood out from her first group date. Certainly, Dean – who earned the group rose off of his boyish charm, dazzling blue eyes and sparkling white teeth. He’ll forever be known as the guy with the one liner, “I’m ready to go Black and not go back.” Or something like that. He seemed a bit annoyed with himself for not going in for the kiss during their conversation, but then went for it while walking her out of the group date. I love watching these guys fumble over when do make a move or not. You’ve got to be so bold in the limited time that you have and yet when he jokes with her that she should take him on the next two dates, she calls him “greedy.” I love Rachel. Sharp as a whip.

Will the Sales Manager

Will the Sales Manager

I also like Will, the Floridian Sales Manager. He’s got a killer smiler, seems very sincere and understated. He wasn’t trying to make any flashy statements or moves – he was genuine and keeping it 100 to the 100th degree. (I’m making my own phrases now).

I absolutely loved the surprise appearance by Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, two of my favorites. Especially Mila Kunis as every time the movies Forgetting Sarah Marshall or Bad Moms is on, I have to stop everything and watch the entire thing. Of course they are superfans of the show (and my TV soulmates). Also, my favorite moment of the entire show was Mila getting excited that all of Rachel’s men on the group date had real jobs. But watching Lucas WahBoom win made me want to fast forward that entire section. The idea of the new dad obstacle course was kind of amazing, but who’d have thought that a moron would beat out the others? Also, Rachel’s lack of stimulating conversations with any of these duds, I mean guys, made the outcome extremely disappointing. Dean excluded of course.

Blake’s whining about WahBoom is just annoying. He’s already said his peace to Rachel on the first week of dates, so we know he’s getting the boot momentarily. He’s so angry and he’s living with WahBoom’s ex-girlfriend? Were they together? Why was she evicted? Will we ever know or care? They can leave together and I don’t think anyone would mind. Perhaps form a joint Drumming WahBoom entertainment business.  Kenny the professional wrestler seems the most mature of the crew by nature of him having to raise a daughter who is already 10. Or maybe it’s that he’s seen as the “old guy” of the pack, at a ripe age of 35. I’m not sure Rachel is ready for all of that just yet, but I think it’s appealing to her to find someone who’s got his life in order and is genuinely seeking to find a wife. But like what is his professional wrestling career all about? Would he be performing year round? Would their life revolve around his travel? What’s his retirement plan and at what age do you get out of wrestling? I’d think 35 might be close to the end?

The best part of the evening group date #1 was the vintage bar with old school video games. If I took The Husband there on our first date, he would have proposed on the spot. Actually, combine that with a trip to the Pet Park outing in Palm Springs, and we’d probably have gotten married right there and then.

A couple of the guys seem to be already on the chopping block without much hope: (1) Summer camp kid. Rachel can’t forget that he was a jerk. Once a summer camp jerk, always a summer camp jerk (2) Lee the Singer Songwriter Southern guy who already seems obnoxious. He’s a powder keg and I can’t wait to see him go off. (3) WahBoom. Did you see how unenthused Rachel was that he “won” the obstacle course? She was like – holy cow, do I actually need to spend more time with this clown show? I mean he owns phrases like, “The only leg I have to stand on are my two legs.” They clearly don’t give an intelligence test to be on the show. What the hell was that poem he read her? It didn’t even make sense.

Then we’ve got Fresh of Breath Air Dean. So easy to talk to and chat with. He’s got his hand on her knee like he’s actually going to do something with it (but chickens out). They’re chemistry was sparking almost as much as his white teeth were glistening. Rachel likes his whole mouth because she describes the kiss as “sweet, sensual, passionate and genuine.” You know he had red lipstick caked to his mouth when he walked back to the guys and was LOVING every second of that.

Peter’s one-on-one date looked amazing. The helicopter ride along must have been awesome, but for anyone who remotely likes dogs, I can’t even going to a resort where the dogs have their own pool and activities. It’s impossible to find anything like that in the NYC area. At first, I thought Peter seemed a little stiff and I almost thought that maybe she was a little more into him than he was into her. But by the time she was in that beautiful purple lace dress and were chatting about their future gap toothed kids, I kind of loved him. And I love how the producers used this opportunity to spotlight any of the rude naysayers who dare make fun of Rachel’s beautiful teeth. Rachel declares that she had the option to close the space in between her tooth but declined it because her “dentist said it adds character.” Another check for Rachel. She keeps it more 100 than any person I know. She’s got it bad for Peter.

The second group date was a basketball lover’s dream. Loving that Rachel is not just smart and gorgeous and confident and witty – but she’s an athlete too?! She’s quite the package. Also, meeting Karim Abdul Jabbar isn’t too bad either. I loved his comparisons on finding the right partner from watching their interactions on the court. Rachel definitely doesn’t like the showoffs, though she can’t deny her own attraction to DeMario’s dunking skills. I was surprised his team lost.

So let’s get to Lexie’s confrontation and bring down of DeMario, who was probably the most cocky of the bunch but also someone who caught Rachel’s eye. Does she seem like the most reliable source? Was she a little too eager to throw out the line she was obviously practicing the whole ride to the basketball game (aka “Karma is a bitch”). How did ABC find out about her? Did she just show up at the basketball game for this specific purpose or did they know going into the season that DeMario had a “complicated status” relationship that was baked into the drama of the show? Seems a little early in the season (week 1?) to be digging up past girlfriends? In any event, Rachel is a litigator so we know she was getting to the heart of this issue pretty quickly. You saw her cross examine DeMario and you could just see her trust was broken. He’s done. So yes, I’m most interested in seeing what he has to say and how Rachel sends him on his way AGAIN. I’m also curious to see if the guys come to her aid and go crazy on him.

So Rachel is super PISSED. Her only escape is to a high school gym’s women’s room. But when she regroups, she puts on another purple sparkle stunner of a dress to meet back up with the guys.  Josiah gets to give her a whole “It hurts me to see hurt on your face” song and dance and get a passionate kiss. Diggy loves the opportunity to get preppy and wear a different pair of clear glasses (he is SO not straight). Alex the Russian gets to sing in Russian about dark eyes. Eric gets to look deep into Rachel’s soul and announce that he doesn’t force things (while trying to force things). Jury is out on Eric. There’s something salesman-ish about him that I don’t dig.

 

 

Final best moments of the night in this order:

  • The guys trying to listen to anything Rachel says while she’s got the loudest ice clinking continuously happening and is wearing a seductive black gown with the gold sparkle belt and outlines of her neck and sides.
  • Bryan the chiropractor reminding Rachel that he’s still extremely into her, a “chiropractor physician” and that he can give her free massages.
  • Rachel reminding us that she too didn’t get on any of the first dates for Nick and so Bryan the chiropractor (physician) Latino lover is definitely a front runner.

 

Who are we currently excited about?

  • Bryan the Latino Lover
  • Will the Sales Manager
  • Peter, the gap toothed business owner who Rachel’s got a thing for
  • Fred the Bad Boy Camper she Loves to Scold
  • Kenny the Professional Wrestler – cause he’s the most mature of the group and actually wants to settle down

What did you guys think? I am loving this diverse cast but Rachel stands out above them all. She’s a pleasure to watch. I hope the guys can live up to her expectations.

See you on Instagram, (www.instagram.com/OfficeStace) (@OfficeStace). Til next week, Keep it 100, everyone, ok?

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Rachel Lindsay Sizzles as First African American Bachelorette in Premiere

Our new Bachelorette!

Our new Bachelorette!

Welcome back, Bachelorette Fans!! Is there anyone’s jaw that didn’t drop when Rachel and Colombian Lover boy Bryan were interlocked in fierce passionate kissing within moments of speaking? Dios mio! More on that later…

Just in time to take our minds away from this horrific terror attack in Manchester, to allow us to hide from the time-consuming, political environment and more personally, from potty training a fiercely obstinate 3 year old – here comes Rachel.  I was optimistic about Rachel’s tenure as our new Bachelorette. She has all the makings of a great heroine for this series: Extreme confidence, the perfect combination of incredibly intelligent and well spoken with a light hearted personality, a beautiful smile and the ability to cut to the chase. She’s absolutely adored by her 7 bestie co-Bachelorette former roommates. It’s obvious that she’s charismatic, extremely likable and let us not forget – she’s the daughter of a federal judge. I don’t think we’ve seen a Bachelorette with a better pedigree. Yes, there was Andi Dorfman, former lawyer and Ashley Hebert the dentist, but compared to Rachel’s people chemistry and naturally magnetic personality – we’re in a far more intriguing season. I don’t see Rachel falling for an idiot. Though she did keep Whaaa Boom moron. Can we just get rid of these people before we have to take up a second more of brain power needing to watch them? Clearly he’s there for the ratings.

Now favorable and hopeful thoughts of Rachel aside, I did feel a bit like the show was “selling” us on Rachel. I’ve said this in my previous post, but we’ve never seen a level of tricks and ratings stunts pulled out for any former Bachelor or Bachelorette. Is ABC or the show producers worried that Bachelor Nation is racist? Do they not think Rachel can pull off strong ratings based on being herself? It was getting to be a little overkill on how many times we heard throughout tonight’s premiere how much everyone loves Rachel. She was described by them as the following:

  • “Wicked hot”
  • “Amazing”
  • “Voice is sexy”
  • “Disney princess”
  • “Smitten with this girl”
  • “the real deal”
  • “She’s the kind of girl you have babies with”
  • “Gorgeous”
  • “She’s dope.”
  • “I got butterflies.”

We get it. We like her. Even though she doesn’t like chocolate?!! Now let’s see how the guys measure up…

I am loving the fact that Rachel is 31 – slightly older than the average Bachelorette and it means that we’re getting a slightly older age curve of contestants vying for her. Last season’s group of women, while very attractive, were EXTREMELY young and I’m not convinced they were ready to settle down. I’m hoping with age, comes a bit more maturity – and Rachel will easily be able to seek that out.  She did, however, use the expression “Let’s keep it 100.” I think this is a millennial thing and since I’m officially old (I turned 40 in March), I had to google this phrase. Accordingly to Urban Dictionary, “Keep it 100” means:

to keep yourself real and true, to be honest and stick to the way you are, no matter what any one else thinks.

Did you all know this already? Am I over the hill? Because if someone told me to “Keep it 100,” I’d think they’re either handing me a $100 bill and don’t need change or maybe want me to a keep a secret until I’m 100. Whatever, I’m old. Don’t answer that. The fact that I’m googling what Rachel’s expressions mean just shows my age. At least I know how to google something.

There were so many dudes that stepped out of the limos, I honestly had a hard time keeping track. Here are my key observations:

  • Rachel seems especially attracted to tall slim Caucasian men with moderate amounts of facial hair. Definitely the Nick Viall type. I think she kept three of them around, including Latin Lover.
  • I was curious whether Rachel, as a lawyer, would be attracted to another lawyer. Particularly since litigators tend to be alpha personalities and might not mix with other litigators. I thought Josiah had an appealing back story in being a former kid criminal turned prosecuting attorney but he may have come on a bit strong. He did have one of my favorite lines of the night, “See you later, Litigator.”  He’s 28 years old and seemed perhaps the tiniest bit immature compared with Rachel. His confidence was amusing though, so he’ll definitely be one to watch if he can get out of his own way.
  • I would have liked to see more drunk scenes from Mohit featuring his Bollywood dancing.
  • Blake E is definitely going to crash and burn with such early and open verbal hate of whaaa boom. Everyone knows that if Whaaa Boom is already pissing him off to the point of anger on Night 1, he’ll never cut it in this environment. Also, we may as well kick this guy to the curb now because I don’t see Rachel ending up with an “Aspiring Drummer.” Also, was he the one going on about his amazing libido or was that someone else? I can’t keep track but I thought that person was a physical trainer and has lots of endorphins. Is it the drumming that gets him hot? I think I’m confusing Blake E with Eric the personal trainer or Lee the singer / song writer. I think Lee is the Southern gent who looks to get crazy later on in the season.
  • There was some serious teeth whitening happening before tonight’s show.
  • DeMario is definitely the bad boy that she can’t help falling for. I’m glad Whitney (my BFF – did you hear how I spoke to her on the phone recently?) gave her a warning about him. He’s hilarious though. And he reminds me of my Jewish camp friend, Stinky. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think they might be brothers from another mother.
  • Speaking of camp, what do we think about Rachel’s former camper, Fred, who is 4 years younger than him and that she had to discipline? You know Rachel is Fred’s total fantasy from his childhood days. I actually have a very close female friend who ended up marrying her younger camper. Camp friends have crazy close connections. I married my camp friend. They kind of played down their connection tonight, but Rachel did confess to finding Fred attractive. Now we just have to find out if young camper Fred grew up to be a good person – or maybe she prefers him to be her bad boy.
  • I take a moment out of discussing Rachel’s men to gush about her beautiful white beaded gown this evening. It was so flattering on her! Very bridal and sexy at the same time. Details on the gown: It’s by Randi Rahm, involved 30 pounds of bright white beads and Swarovski crystals, all hand beaded. While the dress isn’t available online, Rahm indicated she’ll be making a more affordable version at some point. In the meantime, if you have an extra $6800 to spend – you can check out a similar style at Saks at this link.
  • Peter the gap-toothed blue eyed, plaid suit boy seemed very clean cut and personable. Maybe their kids could get a discount from Ashley the Dentist. Ok, that was mean – I know their little gap tooth is a charming thing. But two gap toothed fools in love? Hmmm.  She had another dark haired, blue eyed admirer in Dean the 24 year old start up recruiter. I kept confusing these two, actually. Dean had the insanely annoying flowery tie and wanted to build sand castles with Rachel. He’s sweet, but he’s 24 – a solid 7 years younger than Rachel. She could eat him for breakfast. She’ll never be happy with him. Brady the male model – also nice looking, but is Rachel really looking to marry a model? I don’t think so, but he’s sure fun to date and look at for the time being, though his smile was slightly mischievous in a scary way.
  • Rob the Law Student reminded me of Ryan Sutter (Trista the Bachelorette’s husband) – I think it was the serious glasses and poet type look about him. He didn’t make the cut.
  • Diggy was our other serious glasses wearing, fashionista. Definitely got a gay vibe from him, but maybe that’s just me. Rachel will have to fight for closet space with him and his 575 pairs of sneakers. Unless she gets him to come out of the closet. Bad joke.
  • There were definitely some good looking men in this crew and Rachel was into them – I’d say she was attracted to Eric, the personal trainer, Will, the Sales Manager who did the nerdy Irkel impression but who’s actually very good looking, Kenny the Wrestler and Anthony the Education Software manager. Not sure Rachel is ready to be a mom to a 10 year old daughter (sorry, Kenny) and Anthony is only 26 (yikes to a 31 year old professional woman).
  • The Husband seems excited about Alex, another bearded white guy that arrived with a vacuum cleaner. Maybe it was the thought of someone with a cleaning device who could actually tidy up around our own apartment that caught his eye. Who knows.
  • This is the most diverse cast of men in the history of the show – should be interesting to see how the fans react. I’m also interested to see the dynamics in the house amongst the men.
  • You have a serious right to be insulted if you’re the fireman, the doctor or even a former pro basketball player and Rachel has picked Whaaa Boom guy over you. That’s just nonsense.

There’s too many to go too deep about any of them individually or to even know who these people are at this point. Also, I was convinced that Rachel would NOT give the first impression rose to the guy she had just made out with. Who is coaching her? Shouldn’t she be playing a little hard to get? The Husband said Latin Lover WOULD get the rose and he was right. I was surprised, no rather, astonished, at how direct Rachel was with her reasons for giving him the first impression rose. Almost like she was laying out her arguments for a court of law. She was actually explaining her physical attraction to him. Who knew human beings knew how to communicate like that? I hope he can match her open style in more than just animated tongue wrestling.  Also, not to be too critical, but I believe Bryan referred to himself as a “Chiropractic Physician.” Is he implying to Rachel that he’s a licensed doctor? I’ve done minimal research and can only conclude that a chiropractor is NOT a licensed doctor – meaning, a chiropractor can’t prescribe drugs, do surgery and is not required to complete training in a hospital. Not that I have anything against chiropractors. I could actually use one right now as I’ve been sitting in an actual booster seat blogging and my back hurts, too lazy to move to a chair that my 3 year old doesn’t use.

Do we have a person still in the mix who calls himself a “Tickle Monster?” Him and Whaaaa Boom need to go make a children’s book together and go away. Penguin suit guy didn’t bother me so much. He reminded me of the Dolphin Girl from last season – just down to earth and charming.

So that’s all my brain can manage to absorb on Night 1 of this season. I’m so happy we’ve got a brand new cast of characters to get to know with a worthy Bachelorette leading us through. Do you have any early favorites? I’m liking some of the bearded Caucasian fellows myself, Will and maybe a couple others that I can’t distinguish quite yet.

Until next week, I’m very much looking forward to getting lost in this season again. Especially once Whaaa Boom, the Tickler and the Ventriloquist (big Adam?) are gone.

Xoxo,

Stacey B

PS – you can catch up on some of my recent personal adventures by following me on Instagram (www.Instagram.com/OfficeStace or @OfficeStace), or on Facebook page – www.Facebook.com/OfficeStace. Life as a full time working mom of a 3 year old is not for the weak or weary. Off to bed. I’ve got exactly 5 hours until the first “Mommy! I need you” screams of the day begin.

PPS – It’s now 6:45 AM, and everyone is still asleep, so I’m adding some photos of our weekend in Amish country…

$ extra for the pink cowboy hat. Couldn't resist

$ extra for the pink cowboy hat. Couldn’t resist

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The Husband & Ellie

The Husband & Ellie

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Let’s Catch Up – New Bachelorette Season, Gossip & Life

jojo

Is it too late to hope for a JoJo / Ben reunion?

It’s a rare moment of peace in the Stacey B household. 7:20 AM and The Husband is still asleep. Ellie is still asleep. I’ve been up for 90 minutes, packing frantically as we’re leaving for Amish Country in a few hours.

How have you been, Bachelor Friends? It’s been a VERY long winter/spring waiting for the new season, right? Quick updates for us: The Husband turned 40, I turned 40 and Ellie turned 3. Not sure how this happened. You know you’re 40 when your packing list for the weekend includes Advil, vitamins, antibiotics, wrinkle cream, really high SPF, chemical free sunblock, not an ounce of a high heel, allergy meds, Gas-X tabs (I look forward to dropping Gas-X by slipping a tab on my tongue after an insanely heavy meal and feeling it dissolve) and for when I feel like “dressing up” – Lululemon leggings. Sigh. Ellie’s life is far more interesting these days – but more on her later. We’ve got mega Bach gossip to cover.

So for anyone who has been living in a cave for the last several months, the biggest news was that former Bachelor Chris Soules got arrested for leaving the scene of a fatal car crash. He was later charged with felony and has plead “not guilty.” His charge carries up to 5 years in prison. Sounds like there may have been some alcohol involved (because what else are you doing in Iowa in a town of 17 people at that late hour?). Latest update is here:  http://people.com/crime/chris-soules-pleads-not-guilty-to-leaving-scene-of-fatal-crash/

There was a giant People magazine spread about former Bachelorettes and their very cute babies. Everyone looks exhausted, especially Emily Maynard, but what can you expect? I just wish they’d have shown them how new motherhood really looks – like first thing in the morning when you haven’t slept all night and that kid is crying AGAIN and you can’t figure out why and your makeup from the previous day is smeared all over your eyes, but you don’t care because you’re just proud that you had time to put on make-up to begin with. If you haven’t had time to check out the article – you can find it here.

There’s also been some mega break-ups. I was at work the other day and got a “OMG” text from my friend Neha who is very pregnant these days. I was certain she was going into labor or had some insane, life-changing news to reveal. She did. Ben Higgins and Lauren Bushnell are DONE-ZO! Finished. Game Over. Given, I don’t think anyone is shocked at this news – if you watched their painful interactions on their reality show, it was obvious that they weren’t exactly the best fit. She’s a walking beauty queen who wants to get married and have kids (or maybe be a celebrity blogger and go to pretty islands and wear pretty bikinis?). She did go on the show to find someone to marry. Ben seemed to have gotten cold feet. Anyhow – this is very exciting news because it means he’s back on the market. Perhaps Ben 2.0 could be upon us with a little campaigning. He’s got to be better than Brad Womack 2.0’s season, right? My sister is excited about this. I’m excited about this. I’m wondering if JoJo is just laughing her ass off somewhere down in Texas. JoJo and Jordan are still all smiles on their social media accounts. I love JoJo so just want her to be happy, but wouldn’t you all kind of LOVE to see a little JoJo / Ben reunion??

Other breakups – just this week, Becca the Virgin Tilley and Robert Graham also split. This is also not surprising since she’s a virgin who travels the world taking the most sexual bikini photos of herself and then still wants to be a virgin. Good for her. I’m guessing their time apart weighed on their relationship – but not more than her desire to remain a virgin. Read more here. Also, some press outlets are saying this is yet “another split for Bachelor Nation,” but if you know your Bach facts, you’ll also know that these two didn’t actually meet during a season of the show. They met in Bachelor La La Land – where all the former contestants hang out in random places with good lighting and take selfies. And the rest is history. Literally – they’re done.

In case you’re wondering – Nick Viall and Vanessa seem to be going strong. Nick finished his time on Dancing with the Stars and they seem to be traveling a bunch. But still together and okay for the moment. Good for them.

Did I miss anything big, Bachelor Fans? Let me know!

Ok, so now we’re just a couple days away from our first African American Bachelorette season. The show has done all sorts of crazy things to promote this season – teasing us with a couple of the contestants at Nick’s Finale show. Revealing more contestants during a live Facebook event. This took place during the weekday, so unfortunately, I was at work and had to miss it. Did anyone watch? Was it good? I think Ellen DeGeneres even had a group date for Rachel take place on her show?? I’m not sure whether all these tricks and leaks are actually going to help or hurt – what’s left in terms of surprises for the actual show?

And then this morning they already told us how Rachel ends up. It was pretty widely blasted, but I won’t ruin it for you if you don’t want to know – this is a no spoiler blog after all.

Anyhow, until Monday night, Bach Fans, I hope you all enjoy the nice spring weather this weekend. I’ll be out picking strawberries and doing buggy rides this weekend. If I don’t immediately join the Amish community, I’ll be back to blog on Monday.

xoxo,

Stacey B

 

 

 

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Nick Goes Canadian on Bachelor Finale, Rachel the Bachelorette Meets Her First 4 Men

Fire brewing between these two at all times

Fire brewing between these two at all times

Happy Finale Night, Bachelor Fans!

There have been some very exciting developments apart from tonight’s show:

(1) My daughter, Ellie, turned THREE on Friday. It has been non-stop partying, pizza and cake eating and I’ve gained 10 lbs and am exhausted. I’ve also become a cake master – check out my photos on my Instagram account.

(2) Today is my 7th wedding anniversary with The Husband. SEVEN. I can’t believe how fast that went. And I’m feeling the romance as we’ve ordered in Chinese food and are watching 3 hours of The Bachelor and couldn’t be happier. The Husband will soon be in tears of joy (just calling out the truth) for whomever the winner is. Or maybe he’ll be watching hockey on his phone and be crying over that. Hard to tell.

Whitney Fransway, my new BFF

Whitney Fransway, my new BFF

(3) Something amazing happened on Thursday night. I was home alone, baking birthday cakes so hard, when a mysterious California phone number lit up my cell phone. It was The Husband’s best friend from growing up (let’s call him Chase). So Chase lives in Los Angeles and says to me, “You’re never going to believe who I’m having lunch with right now.” Moments later, I, Stacey B, am chatting away with Whitney, the 25 year old Minnesota – tall, beautiful brunette pilates instructor from Nick Viall’s season! We didn’t get to hear much from Whitney during the season, but in the brief time I spoke to her, she was absolutely lovely – sweet, gracious and appreciated my complete Bach fan girl moment. I should also mention, that I was mid-worst cold of all time, so I sounded like the combination of a groaning 87 year old man and a dying goat. Hard to make that sound pleasant, sane and intriguing to a current Bachelor contestant, but Whitney didn’t seem to mind. She wished me a happy anniversary and gave me a few inside tips on the show, which I was sworn to secrecy on. I learned that Whitney was best friends in the house with current Bachelorette Rachel, so I don’t think this is the last we’ll see of Whitney on the series. Chase had told Whitney about my blog and she said she’d check it out.

So Whitney, if you’re reading this, who are we inviting to Rachel’s premiere party in NYC at my apartment? We only have about 2 months until the premiere, so time to start planning :)  Chase, you’re welcome too. Thank you both for making my night! I will bake a giant Rachel bachelorette cake for the occasion.

Ok, so now to the main event…

This doesn't look like platonic ice lovin' to me (Nick on Raven)

This doesn’t look like platonic ice lovin’ to me (Nick on Raven)

Every ounce of this episode just screamed to me that he should choose Raven. I mean, their love was easy. That doesn’t make it simple or boring or too good to be true. The type of laughter, mutual respect, communication and honesty that I saw in their relationship are the true skills needed to last in the real world. I was heartbroken for Raven that she had to go through that entire experience only to have to hear from Nick that he wasn’t in love with her. It just didn’t feel right. He certainly seemed in love with her on that ice skating rink in Finland. Especially after having such an intense night of convincing Vanessa to hang in there. There was zero drama with Raven. And yet they seemed to have that passion every time he would lay her down on the ground to make out with her. She certainly did NOT feel like friend material then. Also, what about that orgasm? Nick always was happy, upbeat and incredibly playful with Raven. What’s not to be in love with about being his best self? With Raven, we see Nick taking more of the lead, like he’s courting a young, impressionable small town lady. With Vanessa, Nick is mentally challenged at every turn. He’s met his match and then some. Every sentence he said, every look he gives her – she gives it back to him and questions it from every angle. She’s no wallflower. What’s the opposite of a wallflower? It seemed absolutely exhausting. And yes, I can clearly see passion between them too, is it sustainable with so many questions still looming in the air?

So here’s what I loved this episode:

  • Everything about Finland and the final dates that they went on. This may have been my favorite final week locale EVER on this show. I loved the home Nick’s family was staying in, the little Santa Clause hut where Santa was chillin’, all the beautiful snowy backdrops for horseback riding, the reindeer just chillin’ in front of the main building where all of the events were going on, the puppy huskies (please tell me Raven got to take one of them home to comfort her), the ice skating rink, all of the quaint fires, candles, opportunity to wear knee high snow boots and cozy parkas, frizz free gorgeous hair from both of the final ladies and sled rides.
  • Nick’s family. I mean, this is our 5th time meeting them (once with Andi’s season, twice with Kaitlyn’s season and 3x this season). Bella is starting to feel like my own little sister. I think Nick’s mother either has pink eye or is going to need a major vacation from all the tearful stressing she’s done over her son’s love life these last several years. I do feel for her. That moment when Nick’s father cried with Vanessa, we knew she was a shoe-in, even if they were only showing us all the negative scenes of her questioning her relationship.
  • Raven’s hair in the finale and then again on the After the Final Rose – how on earth does she keep it so smooth and shiny and tangle free? She has a future in shampoo commercials if Bachelor in Paradise doesn’t work out.
  • Raven’s revenge dress (and hair) on After the Final Rose. It was just screaming, “You obviously picked the wrong girl. Look at what you’re missing out on and how easy and happy your life would have been with me and this do-me dress.”
  • Nick and Vanessa’s proposal. Not a dry eye in the house around here. I mean, they’ve got a long road ahead of them, but how can you not root for them to work it out? There’s clearly a passion and love there – but can they make it work? Time will tell.
  • Seeing Rachel own her new role as Bachelorette. She’s going to be great. Smart, sweet and beautiful.

Here are the remaining questions that I still have from watching this:

  • Did anyone else think Santa was going to set his coat on fire by walking by that gigantic fire in that tiny hut?
  • Is Bella wondering what the hell is wrong with her brother? What does she think of Vanessa versus her best friend Raven?
  • Did Raven and Nick have any actual music during the ice skating portion of their date? Because Nick was busting out all sorts of dance moves and if there wasn’t music, is that just strange or just his body’s way of realizing it’s not in love?
  • DID RAVEN HAVE AN ORGASM?
  • Did Nick sleep with Rachel and Raven and Vanessa on the fantasy suite overnight dates? If so, how is Vanessa handling that information?
  • Was Raven ever a consideration to be the next Bachelorette? Feel like she’s too classy to be on Bachelor in Paradise? Or maybe she’ll be like Jade and find one good guy and end up engaged there?
  • Was beginning The Bachelorette’s season on tonight’s After the Final Rose really the most shocking thing that’s ever happened on the show? I mean, it was creative and new and kind of fun to get a preview, but most shocking ever? I still think Jason Mesnick’s switcheroo on his after the final rose was most shocking. Or perhaps Juan Pablo being unwilling to admit that he loved Nikki Farrell, the girl he chose.
  • Did anyone else think they were going to announce that Nick and Vanessa actually broke up and he was pulling a Mesnick (i.e., he wanted to pursue Raven instead?). What about announcing that Vanessa was prego? I mean, both of these things would be more shocking than Rachel starting her season, right?
  • Where the hell in the US are Nick and Vanessa going to live to start their life? How is this life going to start if Nick is in rehearsal all day in LA with Dancing with the Stars? I can’t see someone like Vanessa being satisfied with just sitting on the sidelines with a smile on her face. She’ll grow bored in 2 minutes. What will she do to occupy herself? What happens when Nick is amongst all these celebrities and hot dancers on the show? Will he remember that he’s off the market?
  • What will Vanessa’s students do without her coming back? What about Sunday lunches with her family? Maybe she really is more willing to compromise than was let on during the show.
  • Is Vanessa taking Nick’s last name and agreeing to be called “Mrs Viall (Vile)” for the rest of her life?

So the good news if you’re a Nick and Vanessa fan, is that a lot of their struggles have been based on the process of Nick being the Bachelor (there being other women, Nick not being able to fully commit to Vanessa when she wanted him to, etc.). Other problems were them both having to be holed up together and never being able to be out in public. So now they can be seen together and Nick can finally move forward with Vanessa instead of dwelling on his past heartbreak and current role as Bachelor. That may actually give them a chance. Especially if they’ve made it this far and are good communicators.

Ok, eyes are closing. I need to go love on The Husband even though he wants nothing to do with me until my cold goes away completely. Also, we’re expecting Snowmageddon tomorrow in New York City (12-24 inches being predicted), so time to turn the heat on.

It’s been an amazing season with all of you, Bachelor Fans. I hope you’ll come back to check in on me or follow me on Instagram (@OfficeStace). See if Whitney agrees to a Premiere party. I mean, it’s not that far away. I’ll miss hearing from you and your thoughtful, witty, funny comments. Can’t wait to hear more of them about this finale and all that comes up next season.

So what do you think? Are you happy for Nick and Vanessa? Were you cheering for them or couldn’t care less? Did you feel bad for Raven or did she dodge a bullet? Do you think she had an orgasm? What did you think of Vanessa’s first 4 dudes and are you excited for her season?

Til next time, Friends!

Xoxo,

Stacey B

 

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