Prince Farming Chooses a Wife; The Bachelorette Rolls the Dice & ELLIE TURNS ONE!

final3What an insane finale of The Bachelor tonight. But I’m going to throw out a bomb here despite all that was revealed tonight: I don’t buy it. I mean, I know Chris chose Whitney and claims to love her and that he’s ready to move forward. I saw it all unfold. But there’s not an ounce of me that actually feels like he’s in “once in a lifetime love” with her. I see almost no chemistry by him for her. I think he made the safe decision because she was clearly ready to give him everything that he wanted. And the things that she was willing to give him were the exact things that he said he wanted. Except for one small detail – he isn’t in love with her. Ugh, it was almost painful to watch. Am I the only one that felt this way? I admit to not being the biggest Whitney fan. Her speeches were just way too over the top for me. I felt like I was listening to a sales pitch for Farmer’s Wife of the year. She could have been trying to sell make-up or facial cream and the little speech she gave his family at their dinner – it was pageant-like. I don’t know. Then again, she had the whole family in tears, so maybe they all did feel it for them. I’m not Chris and he’s the one making the calls obviously. If he loves Whitney even a speck of the way that she loves him, then I’m very happy for them and wish them all the best. I do think that she’s the only one who honestly wants to be on that farm for the long term. I also think that Becca is a smart and strong woman for sticking to her guns and not getting caught up in the whole Bachelor la-la land. I’m sure she could have had Chris if she said the magic words – that she was ready and in love and moving to the farm. Which makes you wonder how Whitney can be so confident in what they have when he’s so clearly ready to jump on the Becca train if she gave him a hint of being in it to win it.

I kept hoping, wondering, finger-crossing – please oh please, let Becca have that epiphany moment before it’s too late. Turn that limo around. Let her show up after the finale to admit that she made a mistake. That it had been love all along. She’s a Virgin. I mean how is she supposed to know these things when there’s nothing to compare it to? She’s a Virgin in both mind and body. Give her a break. Give her some time. But no, there’s Whitney and she’s ready to basically give birth on the stage to Chris’s future children. I thought that Chris’s mother (who I love with all of my heart) gave Becca some wise advice. Everything that she was feeling for Chris was love. She just didn’t recognize it. Meanwhile, Whitney’s not just shopping for a farm and a farmer. She needs a mom, a dad and more siblings. Have I mentioned how irritating I found her speeches?

But OK, so Becca never came back for Chris but I thought – well maybe if Chris pulls a “Jason Mesnick” and decides at the After the Final Rose that Whitney really wasn’t the one and it was Sweet Becca all along – well that would really be something. But no, Whitney is still in the picture and her hair is still in her face, so I am not 100% sure what she looks like without all the tresses and make-up. She’s extremely nervous on the After the Final Rose just as she was at the proposal. I just didn’t see much reassurance from Chris except for their kissing, which seemed almost obligatory. She’s absolutely glowing and excited. He looked moderately nauseous and pale. Maybe too much powder for the cameras?

I don’t know. I mean, I’m just really confused about these two. Even the chemistry between Chris and Becca at the After the Final Rose was so palpable, so natural. Did you see her awesome pink dress after that amazing red velvet dress at the final rose ceremony? She’s smokin’ hot, even if slightly monotone and she’s smart and cool and not a pushover. I almost thought he might actually just go in and give Becca a kiss at the After the Final Rose – in front of everyone. Not caring what the world thought. He just had to have Becca. He was (is) totally in love with her and I think Becca might feel the same. Is it too late to think these two could still make it work? Becca is the sanest girl this show has ever had – she really likes Chris. She’s just not ready to commit to a complete change in lifestyle, on a farm, to a man she’s only know for a couple of months. Can anyone really blame her?

So Chris Harrison promises us shocking news. I was sure that Whitney got pregnant or they were going to have a spontaneous wedding. Or Becca was going to declare her loss of virginity AND pregnancy by Chris. But alas, none of this happened. Instead, we’ve got TWO BACHELORETTES??? What?? Is this the beginning of the end of The Bachelor franchise? Why would they do this? The show has such a great formula now that actually works, why are they making it a circus? I think Kaitlyn would have been a great solo bachelorette. How pissed are the girls that they have to share the spotlight? And logistically, how will this work without it turning into a semi season of Bachelor Pad? I don’t want to see Britt and Kaitlyn making out in a hot tub with multiple guys. It’s just too strange. It does open up a set of new possibilities and doubles the chances of a successful relationship taking place, but it’s sort of insulting to the women that neither was deemed special enough to carry the show on her own. Obviously, I’m interested to see how they’ll handle this new format.

As for Jade the Porn Star, I finally figured out that she reminds me of a grown up Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years. I also thought for a second that they were going to choose Ashley S as The Bachelorette, but then that would have really turned that show into a spiral of sidekick humor, never to recover.

On a very very very bright note, my little baby girl is turning ONE tomorrow (which will be today in a few minutes). That’s right. This time, 1 year ago, I had just finished a PF Chang’s spicy frozen dinner and was off to bed. 24 hours later, I was holding my new born baby girl, Ellie Lila Wanicur, in a hospital bed while watching Juan Pablo’s season of The Bachelor while trying to breastfeed!! How does a year go by so fast? It’s like I blinked and someone pressed fast forward x4 on my remote control. Now my tiny, delicate newborn bundle is a clapping, crawling, babbling, exploring, smiley, screaming, eating machine. A real person who is interested in every last thing around her. I’m taking the day off tomorrow to celebrate with her. We’ll be saying “cheers” with waffles at 8 AM at our local 24 hour diner. Anyone is welcome to join. I’ll be posting lots of pictures of her birthday back on this blog.

In other news – please keep an eye out for news on my e-book, which is coming out late spring / early summer 2015. This will be a short story version of the story of how The Husband and I got together. Until then, you can follow my articles at Thought Catalog here: http://thoughtcatalog.com/stacey-becker

As always, thanks for joining me on this crazy Bachelor ride. I hope to hear your thoughts on tonight’s show, the choice of multiple Bachelorettes and what you’re planning to watch in the “off season.” We start back again on May 18th, but check back here for regular Bachelor related and Stacey B related updates. Happy almost spring (and happy birthday, ELLIE!!!!)

StaceyEllie

 

 

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The Bachelor Women Tell All & Grill All

Britt's sending out the vibe to make out with Farmer Chris

Britt’s still sending out the vibe to make out with Farmer Chris

I’ve just stopped sweating from watching Chris Soules in the “hot seat” tonight. He seriously took a beating from these ladies. It sounds like if things don’t work out with Becca or Whitney, he can just call up Britt and have a make-out fest with her before picking things up with Kaitlyn again. I think the explanation he gave for ending things with Kaitlyn was the most haunting of everything said tonight: “I literally threw darts in the dark.” WHAT?? So it was eeny-meeny-miney-mo, you’re not my wife? How can he make such big life decisions like this? Couldn’t he have had a talk with Chris Harrison and said that he wasn’t ready? I thought there were no rules on this show.

Let’s start with Britt. I felt really bad for the girl and Carly totally came off as evil, angry, poor self esteem girl. Her eyebrows are still not doing her any favors and it’s a shame we didn’t get to hear whether she had anything to say to Chris because she loved that boy. Britt really seemed like a victim of “Mean Girls” tonight. Carly could not properly answer the question, “why did you pretend to be my friend?” in response to Britt and once we couldn’t get an answer to that, everything Carly said after that became suspect. I actually started to feel sorry for Britt myself. She’s just this hippy, happy-go-lucky type. I really don’t think there’s much to understand with her. I do think she wanted to feel all those things for Chris and to move to Iowa – she gets caught up in the moment. But I absolutely think she would have lasted about 10 minutes in Iowa before realizing she didn’t want to be there.

I also thought Britt was going to make out with Chris when she saw him tonight. She would not let go of him. Then she held his hand and looked into his eyes and tried to sad puppy dog eyeball the crap out of him. His entire body was twitching – did you notice that? He’s obviously physically attracted to her. I’m also very convinced that Jillian is a man. That was the most aggressive defense of Britt (her girlfriend) that I’ve ever seen on a Women Tell All. As Chris Harrison put it, “she was all jacked up.”

As for Kelsey, I just don’t think anyone will ever understand why she carried herself the way she did and Kelsey will never understand why the girls hate her so much. I’m over this storyline. She’s a widow. It’s very sad. She’s ready to move on. So am I! I’m glad that they didn’t give Ashley Kardashian much air time. I’ve heard that Kelsey has moved out of the country (France?) to pursue journalism. Probably a good move on her part. She’s going to need to downplay her creepiness factor.

The Space Cadette Ashley is a mystery to me. She’s got to be an actress. Or is off her meds. The cameras definitely make people do and say crazy things, but she has no filter. She’d make a great addition to Bachelor in Paradise (please tell me that Michelle Money won’t be back).

Wait, Chris Harrison has a book? Is it fiction? A mystery? What an awkward plug for his book about….uh, Letters? Moving on…

I really wanted Chris H to ask Britt if she showers. Will we ever get to the bottom of this?

Jade was letting her inner seductress come out tonight with that red dress. She looked amazing and I love her smile. I can see why she’d be crushed about Chris’s comments on his blog that he felt awkward but in his defense, how can it not be awkward when your date starts showing you naked pictures of herself? She’s the only one out of the women who got a true sense for the hometown and was willing to go forward. I wonder if Chris has any regrets.

And then there’s feisty Kaitlyn with her funny jokes and broken heart. It’s got to be her vs. Britt for Bachelorette, right? Kaitlyn’s a smart, sassy lady and I’m sure would have some strong universal appeal. Not sure she’s quite over Chris. She’s got a very strong point in not having a clue she was going home. Chris told her that he was falling in love. How do you send someone home that you’re falling in love with? It must have been very confusing. How can Chris know that he made the right decision?

The crashing of viewer parties is still my favorite part of the show. I can’t even imagine the heart attack I’d have if Chris and Chris invaded my living room. The mom that kissed Chris on the mouth reminded me of a cowgirl version of Kris Jenner.

So we’re left with Whitney and Becca. Whitney seems like the only one ready to commit full heartedly to a life in Arlington right away. Will Chris make her farmer’s wife dreams come true or will he hold out for Sweet Becca? Will we get to see her lose her virginity on live TV? Will they auction off the bed sheets for charity?

Ok, off to sleep. Ellie’s been on nap strike lately which has made the weekend days very exhausting. We did get to celebrate The Husband’s birthday on Saturday with a show and a trip to an amazing spa / bath house place called Aire. I highly recommend. We also got to attend a wedding last night of our camp friend Shara to her new hubby Seth. It was a beautiful and happy evening with a bunch of my favorite, life long friends – Nicole (huge Bach fan), Deb & Erica.

Back to real life. Do you know that my baby girl is going to be ONE next Tuesday, March 10th? One week from tomorrow and she’ll no longer be considered an infant. How did this happen?? And it’s appropriate since she was born on the Bachelor finale of Juan Pablo’s season. Now I’ll have a Bachelor finale hangover to help her celebrate :)

 

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The Bachelor’s Exotic Overnight Dates: Let’s Sweat & Make Out in Bali

monkeysIt’s another record freezing cold night in New York City. I think my keyboard might actually be frozen from sitting near the window without the heat on all day. Cold temps means lots of Bach watching and wearing ridiculously oversized sweatshirts in our apartment.

Bali looks like a very warm, steamy place. So hot, that it makes you strip down to your itty bitty shorts and sweat all over The Bachelor. Did you see what the ladies were wearing this week? I mean, Kaitlyn practically arrived naked, but she has no qualms about wearing tiny bits of clothing (and going topless). And we saw some pretty scandalous ass cheek angles of Whitney. Almost too intimate for a regular TV station. They practically had a camera straight into her crotch.

As for the actual dates, they all seemed very fun and romantic, but Chris was hard to read. I guess it’s because now that Britt’s gone, he seems completely lost. Before tonight, I thought that Kaitlyn seemed more like fun chum material rather than an actual romantic partner. But seeing them together in Bali, it went deeper than that. She definitely was falling for him and he seemed very into her. I was shocked that he told her back that he was falling in love with her too…until he basically admitted to falling in love with all 3 remaining girls. WHAT?? Is that possible? Is Chris just too nice to choose?

So Whitney’s ready to drop her career and move to Iowa. I guess that solves that problem. Her new career will be making babies. I hope that once they get out of la-la land and she actually sees the town of Arlington, Iowa, that she still feels the same way. It’s very hard to picture a tiny farming community when your thousands miles away on the other side of earth being seduced by the best that Bali has to offer. Thank you to the Iowans for setting me straight last week on the opportunities that could exist for someone like Whitney. I am SURE there are things to do there. You’re so right that I know absolutely nothing about that area and I’m stereotyping. SORRY!! Nobody loves Field of Dreams more than me and I secretly have dreams of moving there and building a baseball field. 

Then there’s Virgin Becca. Sweet Becca, who’s really just having the time of her life. First crush, first falling in love experience, first time being intimate and now first guy she can see potentially losing her virginity to. She’s basically hit the grand slam of men all in one shot. I was shocked that after his confusing talk with her during the rose ceremony that he put her back in the line up. For a very small second I was thinking that maybe he wouldn’t choose her after all (which would have been cruel, mostly because of how humid it was there and how hot those traditional Bali outfits must have been). But then he did. Then we had to suffer through watching Kaitlyn become extremely confused along with all of the world and see her blue eyes get watery and more blue and her pink magenta lipstick seem even more pink and magenta. We agonized along with her when Chris babbled on about how he didn’t know if he was making the right decision and she’s soooooo upset because we all know from their date with Jimmy Kimmel that she definitely slept with him (she basically revealed on that date that she would if it came to the fantasy suite) and that Becca definitely did NOT sleep with him.

So here’s where I think Chris’s head is at:

Whitney is a solid choice for him because she’s a take charge kind of girl (which works well with his very laid back, soft spoken personality). She has admitted to falling in love and her goal in life now is to become a wife and a mother. She’s happy to move to Arlington and she could have done it yesterday. She’s acted spontaneous and fun with him. His friends dug her. She’s a little bit older and has had life experiences. He finds her and her baby voice attractive. Amen. I think she’s the “safe” choice. She won’t disappoint him.

Becca is the forbidden fruit. What we didn’t see last week on his hometown visit are the following 2 vital pieces of info: (1) Becca’s brother in law is a famous NFL star, Jacob Hester. Chris is also a HUGE football fan and was starstruck, but they hung out and had a blast (2) the day of Becca’s hometown was her birthday and that’s one of the reasons Chris took her to the ferris wheel thing after the family visit. He has such a crush on Becca, it’s fun to watch him. Becca’s real issue is that she’s not ready to commit to moving to Iowa. I wonder if Chris can get her to agree to that before it’s too late. Shouldn’t he just have picked the two women that were ready to move to Arlington? Poor, Kaitlyn!! I agree that overall, he may be the most into Becca, but I’m not sure she’s quite ready to commit to everything that he came on the show for. Will he take a leap of faith and choose her anyway? Will Jade do another “Wild Mustang” shoot for Playboy and pose naked on a horse? These are all things I’m very interested in.

So next week, will be the big Women Tell All. We’ll see the Britt vs. Carly confrontation and I’m sure the Kelsey vs. Ashley I reunion will be a hit. Should be a very interesting one.

What did you guys think of tonight? Were you disappointed about Kaitlyn? She’s definitely a contender for next Bachelorette. She’s quirky, has a funny personality and the process obviously worked for her. It could happen. If not her, I only see Becca as being a possibility of the remaining 3. What do you think?

 

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The Bachelor Sends Home Playboy Model in Hometown Dates Shocker

BrittHappy President’s Day, Bachelor Fans. It’s a day where we recognize our country’s forefathers by watching our 4th and 5th hours of Bachelor this week. It’s so freaking cold outside that there is seriously nothing else to do (not that I want to do anything else. I was counting down the minutes til Bach, I’ll be honest). I think New York City felt like -10 degrees today. I guess your only other option of entertainment was to watch the SNL 40th anniversary special that was recorded from last night. Or to spend time planning your outfit for tomorrow because it’s supposed to be snowing and freezing and leaving home takes an extra 30 minutes to layer up.

So some shockers off the bat. I was genuinely surprised that Chris had the strength to send Britt home. Especially since she was so clearly THE ONE on the Deadwood date. He has been doing some serious “Soules” searching to make that decision. I think Carly’s speech to him really focused him on some of the red flags that had been in his head all along but he didn’t want to see. That’s the only reason he could have sent her home so suddenly. Usually when someone rats out another girl, it’s not enough to convince the Bachelor to immediately take that advice to heart and act on it. Hence Ben Flajnik ending up with Courtney Robertson. Britt was surely the frontrunner all along and I’m actually proud of Chris for being able to use his head and not his hormones on this decision. I still don’t think Britt was lying or being underhanded. I think she’s a stunning girl and has probably NEVER had to compete for a man’s affection before. She likely in unchartered waters and can’t understand the concept that a man might have feelings for others along with her. She’s right to want to feel like somebody’s #1 at all times. But then she shouldn’t be on The Bachelor.

Once Britt was gone, it was fairly obvious that Carly was the next one gone. She was sweet and funny (though I didn’t like that her entire focus by the end of her time was to bring down Britt). She just wanted to be loved and yet it wasn’t in the cards. Too bad, because I think she’s one of the only girls who would actually love to live in Arlington, Iowa with Chris and make it work there.

I feel like the hometown dates were on fast forward. We only got to see a handful of conversations between Chris and the family. No crazy dancing or family activities (at least that we were shown). I liked that Chris spent time with each of the women after the dates had ended.

A few comments:

  • I 100% thought that when Chris was at the fertility clinic in Chicago with Whitney and she took him to the “Man’s room” to “make a deposit” that the Playboy magazines featured there would contain pictures of Jade. That would have been AMAZING. Seriously, AMAZING in the very best way that word has ever been used in this entire series.
  • I’m so all over the place about the girls that are left. They are all so different. Whitney seems like a take charge kind of person. Type A. She’s career minded and I just don’t see how that will fly in Iowa. Where will she be a fertility nurse? For the cows? Will she propose splitting her time? Because that will never work. So ultimately, while I originally thought she’d be better suited for a farm life, I don’t know how she’d make it work.
  • I was initially pretty surprised that Jade went home tonight. Chris seemed so into her the entire season. She was the only one that got to see what his home life is like. She was the only one that met his parents. (Which, btw, was also the case with Juan Pablo introducing Nikki to his daughter and the rest of his family). He brought her a Varsity jacket. His entire community saw him kissing Jade on his high school’s football field. He was physically extremely attracted to her. His sisters chose her out of most of the other girls. So what went wrong? Did the Playboy thing really not have anything to do with it? I think Jade seemed the most vanilla amongst the remaining girls. She seemed very neutral and reserved in general when around Chris. I kept saying to The Husband that besides her Playboy secret, she seemed almost boring. She’s beautiful, obviously, but I sensed that she and Chris didn’t have much to say to each other. Maybe he was starting to feel that too. Or maybe the Playboy thing was a really big deal. He’s a big time farmer and living in a very conservative area and like he said, many of his business contacts may have given him a big problem if he ended up with her. Also, how was an aspiring model and woman who was starting a cosmetics business in LA supposed to drop everything and move to Nowhere, Iowa? She’s a wild mustang and would have certainly galloped right out of there.
  • I was very much in favor of Whitney’s sister’s withholding her blessing from Chris. I get it. And I liked her solution – call her when Chris knows that Whitney’s THE ONE. I somehow don’t think that’s a phone call he’s going to make. Maybe I’ll be wrong…
  • Kaitlyn. I loved seeing her family as she’s got her father’s eyes with her mother’s beauty. Kaitlyn’s dates with Chris are so playful and fun as opposed to the intensity of his dates with Whitney. She’s always got him smiling but I think she’s going to have to dig deep to get to the same level as the other girls. I know she’s The Husband’s pick, but I don’t know if someone like her could be happy in Iowa. She just seems very sophisticated and stylish and I feel like she needs a wine bar and Starbucks to hang out at regularly. But with all of Chris’s money, maybe they can build these in Arlington, Iowa.
  • As for Becca, she’s definitely got the most momentum at this point. She hasn’t got a lot of experience in the love department (or sex department) but this is not a deal breaker for Chris. I think he likes this and he’ll certainly be thrilled that she’s a virgin. The Husband and I were having a debate as to whether Chris’s conversation with Becca’s sister revealed that Becca was a virgin. I don’t think the sister said this. I think the sister was trying to get across that Becca had never been intimate in a romantic sense with another person. That she’s not naturally affection and doting on a guy, so she was surprised to see her that way with Chris. The Husband thinks it was very clear from this info that the sister was telling Chris that Becca was a virgin. What do you think? I still think Chris has no clue. But I don’t think it’s a big deal (like Ashley Kardashian Princess Jasmine made it out to be). Becca also fits better into the lifestyle that Chris will be living, so that’s a plus. But she’s still so young (26) – is she ready to give up any career or travel ambitions to live in a 500 person town?
  • Whitney’s make up was driving me nuts. I liked her family a lot though and was glad to see she does have a support system – though she seems very willing to part with them for Chris. Her fertility nursing is something that she’s passionate about and I don’t see her wanting to give that up any time soon.
  • Do we think that Chris went back to Jade’s video after she left his hotel room? Do we think he still looks at it? As soon as Chris wasn’t like, “Holy crap, this is awesome,” upon Jade’s revelation, I knew this relationship was going South. How awkward that she offered to show him the photos. What was he supposed to say?

My eyes are closing. It’s time to call it a night. We’ve got exotic overnights next week to Bali, which should be quite a contrast to Arlington, Iowa. If you lose your virginity in Bali, does it count back in the US? We’ll have to see.

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Reverse Hometown: Chris The Bachelor Takes The Ladies to Iowa (Part I)

chrisjadeIt’s after midnight, so we’ll keep this short and sweet. Plus after 3 hours of Bachelor tonight, my head’s spinning. Not to mention another 2 hours tomorrow. Can your head actually explode from watching too much Bach?

The first hour of Chris Harrison’s interview was nonsense. We learned nothing new from Kelsey except that she does use big words like “ameliorated” as in “I would have ameliorated (or, made better) the situation with the girls if I knew it was that bad.” She was also being cross examined by Chris H which just didn’t feel right with her tanned perfect skin and innocent “wear white” maxi dress. I wasn’t interested in what she had to say and while I was completely terrified of her by the end of her time in the Badlands, I felt like the Chris Harrison questions needed to stop and we just all could move on. That said, I’ll be anxious to see her confrontation with Ashley the Virgin Kardashian Princess at the Women Tell All.

As for Andi Dorfman, I’m not sure that we learned anything at all. I miss Josh. I liked him on the show and thought he was great. I REALLY don’t need to see Andi as the Bachelorette again (and I hope that’s not why we had to watch her wipe her eyes / mascara repeatedly to keep the tears from ruining her makeup). I get that she’s heartbroken. That sucks. She seemed to admit to really falling hard for Josh and it doesn’t seem like she’s over him. But she did mention that it was a mutual break-up. That they have two very strong personalities that didn’t mesh well. Doesn’t sound like it’s totally over though as she’s clearly still in love with him and I wonder if we’ll hear about them getting back together. You’ve got to believe that Josh was watching tonight and will have a reaction to her tears. I don’t know – I’m sort of done with worrying about them as well. Too invested in this season of Chris the Farmer, I guess.

The real headliner tonight was Britt’s actions. I don’t think that Britt is being fake. I agree with Kaitlyn that in Britt’s mind, she wants to love Arlington, Iowa. So she’s convincing herself that she’s up for a move to a place that doesn’t have a make up store or hair salon. There’s Amazon after all and aren’t they supposed to have droids soon that can air drop packages to their farm? But it was borderline “Kelsey” scary the way that Britt turned on Chris to express her true feelings about Kaitlyn getting the rose.

That said, from Britt’s point of view, I get it. She’s about to take a guy home and she already thinks that Chris is her groom. How dare he give their group date rose to someone else. How could he be serious about her? Why should she give up being walking distance to a Starbucks and a movie theater for a guy who can’t even give her a rose every time on the group date? Poor Carly. She kind of knows that the messenger never ends up the wife, but she goes for the kill regardless. Real eye opening for Chris. But does he truly see Britt’s two sidedness or can he relate to her spewing emotion?

I’m anxious to see Becca’s date. They already showed us a preview of hometowns, and we know that Jade, Becca and Kaitlyn all make it there, so that leaves us guessing whether Britt, Whitney or Carly will get that last slot? I can’t see Carly beating out either Whitney or Britt at this point and after Chris’s date with Whitney, there wouldn’t be any reason not to pick her for a hometown. Except that she responds to every shock with “SHUT UP,” which is a VERY annoying trait in my opinion. BUT after hearing about Whitney’s family, it’s evident that she’d be a great fit to move to Arlington, Iowa and be embraced by Chris’s family. She won’t have such a pull somewhere else.

Jade seemed less than jubilant to be in Arlington, so not sure how that’s going to play out. I’m sure being on the football field and kissing Chris was a ton of fun, but what happens when the cameras go away and its Chris, a corn field and NOTHING TO DO? So that leaves us with Becca and Whitney as my front runners. Kaitlyn seems way too cosmopolitan to live in Iowa. Not sure what the story is with the exposed tummies on a lot of these girls. That’s certainly not the fashion in Iowa.

Ok, off to bed. My mini bachelorette will be up in 6.5 hours. YIKES.

Til tomorrow’s show!

 

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The Bachelor’s Making Bad Decisions in the Badlands

Bad Date in the Badlands

Bad Date in the Badlands

When, oh when, will The Bachelor, Chris Soules, learn a few basic rules about being The Bachelor??

Rule #1: Don’t make out with Britt (or any other girl) in front of the competition. Particularly when they are drafting toned deaf country love songs in your honor. It’s in really poor taste. Even if it’s Britt initiating and she’s staring at you with that puppy dog look and really pretty, pouty lipstick on. For goodness sake, don’t repeatedly kiss her and if you just can’t resist, at least take her to a separate room! You realize that these women are here to become your wife and your wife does NOT want to see you kissing Britt.

Rule #2: Don’t use information that one girl gives you (Princess Jasmine Kardashian Virgin Ashley) to confront another girl, especially by revealing your source. I felt like Chris had nothing to talk to Kelsey about except to directly confront her. He has absolutely no game. Which either you love him or hate him for. I don’t think he intended to backstab Ashley, but it sure didn’t go over well when Kelsey gave Ashley the stink eye and the, “I know what you did,” speech. That was a creepy scene. Kind of awesome that the girls were in a fantasy canopy bed in the middle of nowhere having this argument about who’s smarter.

Rule #3: It’s best not to favor the Girl Who Doesn’t Shower. Don’t choose her to attend a country music concert on a group date after already likely sleeping with her the week before (and the girls know about it). You really really really shouldn’t do this if a) The Girl Who Doesn’t Shower also Doesn’t Give a Hoot About Country Music, b) 3 of the girls there are in love with the concert givers and c) these girls just poured their hearts out to you in song, one of whom makes a living doing that kind of stuff. It’s just not wise. And if you’re going to go ahead and break this rule, then DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES come back from such concert wearing her lipstick on your mouth. Ok, let’s say you’re dumb enough to do all of this. Do you really need to give her the rose too? You couldn’t have given the rose to say – Jade – who is a HORRIBLE singer but overcame her fear or like Carly – who basically sang out her inner most feelings for you and it was so intense that even Kaitlyn was cheering for you both to be in love?? And Chris, do we really need to ask how even though you have violated every step of Rule #3,  you could leave those girls so abruptly after declaring it tough and awkward? How about pulling a couple of the others aside and apologizing and giving them more time? Nope, you wanted to call it a “Britt night,” and go home smelling like her musty self. Wow, you’re not even pretending to be interested in the others.

Rule #4: When a girl confesses that she’s a widow and you barely know her and were about to send her home, it’s time to be alarmed. If that girl passes out within 24 hours of telling you this information, that little red flag in your mind should be working overtime.

Now in fairness to Chris, not all of his decisions were horrible. For example:

  • He did finally send Mackenzie home. She didn’t belong there and I’m glad she’s getting back to her son.
  • He sent crazy Kelsey AND Princess Virgin home (but not before completely torturing Ashley). I think Virgin Kardashian is just too immature for her own good and Chris nailed it when he said he just didn’t think he could make her happy long term. BINGO. I’m wondering if she’s more pissed about not “beating out” Kelsey or that never got her princess date. OR maybe she was waiting for the fantasy suite to lose her virginity. It was all a bust, but at least she left in a black Kardashian outfit that made her look like a Star Wars character in the Badlands. Her hysteria at being rejected was both entertaining and frightening. I did love her speech to Kelsey about having a Masters from a better school and that bigger words don’t make you smarter. It was the most amazing display of junior high behavior outside of junior high school. I will miss Ashley and her eyelashes even if she was a complete mismatch for Chris.
  • He gave Becca the one on one date. Ahhh, finally. Another normal competitor. Becca might be our girl. She’s smart, she’s sassy and did you see the way she shoots a gun? They have the most natural chemistry of anyone (outside of the Britt/Chris show) and she’s someone that I could see lasting out in Iowa. I loved their horseback riding date. I love that she calls out his insane laugh. Not quite as insane or creepy as Kelsey’s laugh, but definitely up there.
  • He did take the time to sit down with Kaitlyn who’s been put on the back burner the last couple of weeks. I was happy with their talk, until the Britt moves happened. Kaitlyn (and the rest of the girls) were completely justified in feeling “humiliated.” I wonder why nobody left. Poor, Carly. I just wanted to hug her.

Some other amazing things:

1. The girls toasting when Kelsey’s bags got taken away. Hilarious and funny to see. It’s amazing how one common enemy can unite a group, even though they’re all trying to sleep with the same guy. Hatred is a powerful tool.

2. Kelsey. We haven’t ever seen a villain quite like her. I don’t think she realizes how unstable and manipulative she came off as. She thinks that because of her tragic story, she’s better than everyone else and treats the girls like they’re a bunch of nitwits (maybe that’s fair for some of them?). If the previews are accurate and she’s going to crucifix Ashley, I think we’re finally in for a remotely interesting Women Tell All, for the first time in years. The Husband and I actually paused the TV and made popcorn to watch the 2 on 1 date. It was worth it.

3. So Britt is totally an aspiring actress / singer. I’m sure that was not the first time she ever tried to sing. She was way too polished for that to be by accident. Thinking about her living on a farm in Iowa is kind of comical at this point.

4. Becca went from girl in the shadows to frontrunner this week. I really like her. She might be my new favorite.

5. I’m feeling bad for Carly. She went from totally confident after her date last week to feeling “invisible” again. I’d hope that if Chris made her feel that way, she’s have the confidence to simply leave. Teach Chris a lesson. You can’t make out with Britt in front of me after I poured my heart to you. It was just plain rude.

6. I don’t see the Whitney connection. Just don’t understand why she’s still there. Yes, she may be sweet and have genuine intentions (and in all honesty, may be the best match for Chris in terms of compatibility and goals), but I just don’t see him being attracted to her any longer. Particularly when you have a Britt in the house. Whitney even made this comment. The girls are really honest this season!

7. Jade’s big secret will be revealed next week. So the producers were saving this up after all. I wonder what Chris will say. I also kind of wonder what Samantha’s sad back story was (but which we’ll never hear because she said 3 words the entire time before being eliminated). Jade was seeming a bit mousy to me this episode. I was shocked when she told Chris that she’s all in for Iowa!!

So they’re already showing us previews of next week’s dates and we’re getting a bonus Bachelor night next Sunday – woo hoo! I can hardly wait. It’s almost midnight and my night’s just starting here. Ellie (who will be 11 months tomorrow!) has a cold. Coughing, gagging, runny nose and she’s not eating much. No fever and we’ve already been in her room a dozen times to elevate her mattress, rock her, try to give her more food and just comfort her. She’s not happy. Maybe she just wanted to watch The Bachelor. That would make sense. It’s going to be a long one and since she’s sneezed into my face a dozen times this evening, it’s only a matter of time before the germs catch up with me.

Til next time…

Please share your favorite moments from this week and who are your latest favorites…

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