Samantha is lying. Joe is pissed. Repeat. That was the theme of tonight’s show. If you didn’t see the episode, you didn’t miss much. Really. Except that BEN HIGGINS (Ben H!) is our next Bachelor. Even The Husband was drooling when Ben came out in his dark suit looking like Superman. The whole Nick V trick didn’t throw me for a second. “Bring out Ben!” is all we could chant in our household! Is it January yet?? Do we think he’s going to have phone sex with Amy Schumer tonight? I love her.
So I finally found something that could be worse than spending time with Joe or Samantha. It’s not even a root canal. It’s the RE-TREATMENT of a root canal gone awry. That’s what I had done this afternoon. My original root canal tfrom earlier this year developed an infection. After several attempts to treat the infection, I had to see a specialist to fix the problem and that all went down today. I’ve got to hurry up and finish this post so I can take my antibiotics, advil and fall asleep before I end up doing something terrible. Picture sitting in a dental chair, when they strap on a stretchy rubbery contraption to keep your jaw locked into an open position and you’re just stuck there while they stick instruments into your mouth, poking and prodding, even drilling – while you’re just there with your thoughts – like will Ashley I ever seem like a normal human being? Will we ever understand what the heck Samantha’s story is? Do Juelia and Mikey stand a chance in the real world?
So I’m still recovering from that and was looking forward to seeing Samantha’s villainous text messages, but we never actually saw anything, just some whining and an attempt at blackmailing Samantha back into his arms. It didn’t quite work and we didn’t see anything too scandalous. I’m not even really sure what her whole “never before seen footage” with Jade was all about. It was just Samantha denying her relationship with Joe? I mean, it sounds like they just texted a lot. I don’t think she’s denying that happened, right?
Does anyone care at this point? I kind of love how NEW GUY came in tonight, heard from his good friend Joe that he’s into Samantha and then NEW GUY couldn’t care less, and goes straight away to ask her out. That should be interesting next week.
Nothing from Tanner and Jade tonight. They’re still glowing from their overnight.
Nothing from Tenley and Josh.
Nothing from Dan and Amber.
It’s hard to take Ashley I seriously. She cried almost the entire episode and I’m not sure why she thinks her relationship with Jared will take a very long time to get over.
Kirk and Carley went fishing. Very cute. Beautiful sunset. Do they do anything other than giggle when they’re together?
Is Ashley S still there? She’s pretty non-existant at this point.
Ok, mouth is starting to pound and I’ve got to find a pic of Ben H to post so we can stare at him. Who’s excited??
Leaving you with my favorite part of tonight: