So I was up at sunrise this morning anxious to get the DVR going so I could watch the finale. They say to never go to sleep angry, but they did NOT take into account a NYC based Bachelor blogger who had the Bachelor in Paradise finale pirated by Monday Night Football. Apologies for all the people who sent me texts and emails about the show who I shoed away. It was so stressful trying to avoid any news of what happened. But I’m glad that I basically put myself into solitary confinement (with a baby and a dog) til this morning. It was worth the wait.
When The Husband and I finally sat down on the couch to watch, we were like little kids opening up gifts on Christmas morning (ok, Jewish kids, and really it was only me that was excited, but you get my point).
Things I am confused about:
- Who did Lacy’s make-up? Or more specifically, her eyeshadow? It was a green/yellow almost amber combo that seemed a bit ’80s Halloweenish. Speaking of ’80s, I found Michelle Money’s outfit (patterned cotton pants and turquoise top with pink bra underneath) very distracting. Then I was shopping at H&M earlier today and SAW Michelle’s pants, so I guess she was being trendy.
- Why did we never find out the nature of Michelle Money and Graham’s relationship? I mean, the entire show was about Michelle Money’s need to get attention and feel loved, so why wouldn’t she just go for Graham? How would their relationship end civilly? Why couldn’t we have seen a follow up where AshLee Frazier sees MM bad mouthing her and gets to respond?
- Why did these couples think that “staying together” for purposes of Chris Harrison’s ultimatum mean having to be in love and get married? Couldn’t Tasos and Christy or at least Jackie and Zack have given it a whirl? Why did they want to leave?
- Was Graham actually interested in AshLee? I never felt that way for a second. Was he faking it?
- Is Michelle Money not a hired actress for making this show dramatic?
- Why did Molly Mesnick (Jason Mesnick’s wife) look completely different? I didn’t recognize her at all. I know she went back to blonde and she had very red lips but it could have been an entirely different person and I wouldn’t have known.
- Are we supposed to believe that Robert and Sarah were not even willing to give it a shot despite that Robert sleeps in his jeans and wouldn’t touch Sarah? I mean, he admitted that he wanted to take it slow – was she not ok with that? She wanted to have sex and feel desired? I mean they live 10 minutes from each other – couldn’t they have figured this out off camera? They really seem like they liked each other and it’s just such a shame because Sarah has always said how hard it is for her to meet people that she feels comfortable with. My mother thinks that Robert is a pretty boy like Rob Lowe, which I agree with. I remember thinking that he and Brooks would make a cute couple.
- Desiree’s ombre hair color. She should stick to dark brunette. So much more attractive. Did Chris (her fiancé) say one word?
- AshLee did NOT burn down the Tulum village after getting dumped. I thought she might hang herself by that ridiculous halo headband.
- Have I mentioned how confused and angry and not over I am about the fact that ABC chose to put the finale of Bachelor in Paradise on at 1:30 AM EST for the NYC area? What the heck??? And they didn’t tell us until like 15 minutes before when Chris Harrison acknowledged that snafu on Twitter. I’m not over this yet, clearly
Things I am NOT confused about:
- I kept saying to The Husband, “Where is Neil Lane?” when Lacy and Sexy Chest Hair were going on about their love for each other in the overnight fantasy suite. Plus once Marcus started sweating at the final rose ceremony, I knew he was definitely proposing. Cody must have seen that footage and been like – “Oh man, I should have done that.” I worry about Marcus. I mean the guy is TWENTY FIVE years old, just came off of believing he was in love with Andi only weeks earlier and fell in love and got engaged with Lacy in like three weeks. How can this work? Do they live near each other? Is he insane? Will they have really tan, green eyed babies? Probably.
- Michelle’s light bulb moment came when she was in the fantasy suite with Cody?? Is that a red flag or what? She figures out that she’s in love by spending the night with Pop-eye in a Tulum Mexico suite and talks about his genitalia. Well that seems stable.
- Michelle’s daughter is the brains of her family. She’s got her work cut out for her by having to raise Michelle and Cody. Favorite line was that Michelle wants to give Cody a haircut. He needs it!
- This show got RENEWED for a second season. It’s good stuff. I did think the twist was going to be that the couples would be offered money or to stay together. It wouldn’t make sense that anybody would leave just after having a conversation. I feel like we missed something – like more explicit instructions from Chris Harrison.
Now that the season has come to an end, I can move on to more important things. Like the fact that my baby Ellie will be SIX MONTHS TOMORROW!!! WHAT??? How did that happen?
And my gig at Thought Catalog. Here’s my latest post from today: http://thoughtcatalog.com/stacey-becker/2014/09/on-aol-and-the-email-addresses-we-give-up-as-we-grow-older/
I’ll still be blogging regularly though, so please check back! Who’s psyched for the FARMER?